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| Evensong by Rose Sared | 7 Review(s) |
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| lindahoyland | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 10/11/2005 |
| It is interesting to think of Gimli with a ring of power !As you asked for suggestions for your next story,can I suggest naming the chapters ?It makes favourite parts of a story easy to find again. Author Reply: Thank you Linda, I will bear it in mind. However I am not sure my sense of humor would add anything to helping you find your way around the story - If I do it I will try to stick to ch titles like 'Crossing the plains of Rohan' rather than 'Here we go again, by this time you'd think we'd know better!' or 'A long expected sticky end.' Hah - Rose | |
| Imrahoil | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 10/4/2005 |
| Pooooooooke. Your update is overdue ... Author Reply: Sorry daughters 21st took much more time and energy than I supposed. Thoughts of what happens next with our heros are perculating, will get second half of ch on paper tomorrow I think. Rose | |
| Imrahoil | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 9/23/2005 |
| Now I feel like a machine, a review machine, it lowers the standard, I'm afraid. Poor Legolas, it is really not a good thing to be an immortal with mortal friends. Tztztz, I would have thought a hero dwarf would have (English?) needed more of an emergency to give in to temptation than just a bit of pain - cough cough - and the broken arm of a wizard who prefers horses over dwarves. Does he has to learn the hard way - e.g. by getting hit over the head with a dead tree trunk by an angry ent, I want to know what has happened to the ents, that's a hint - that using the ring comes with a price to others?! Great chapters, Rose, thanks a lot, next chapter. "reminding him of alternates" Alternates? Author Reply: Should probably have been alternatives, sorry, slippy slidy English again, the phrases are often used interchangeably in speech, probably shouldn't be in writing. If you are a machine it is a worthy one, thank you so much for your self imposed task, your reviews are never, never boring and do much to shore up my fragile writing ego, plus challenging my plotting - the ents will be addressed I promise. I think Gimli has a curiosity to match a cat's and could not resist healing the wizard, plus Valda herself is used to healing and probably made a strong suggestion. Those two (the ring and the dwarf) have a little sorting out to do! Thanks for the attention. Rose | |
| TithenFeredir | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 9/20/2005 |
| Oh good, my question about why Legolas took Gimli away is answered. And not what I expected. It's good to be surprised! It would have been extremely disappointing if you had created the possibility of a vigil scene and then not done it. But what you wrote was perfect, I think. "The elf had purloined a soft wool robe from an ornately carved clothes press. Wrapped his friend in its comfort and laid him on the bed. Sat with him, sang to him, exhorted him, cried." That catalogue of actions, "sat with him, sang to him, exhorted him, cried", is so simple and yet from those few words you create a picture of an agonized stretch of hours in which Legolas does everything he can think of to bring his friend back, and with it there is his fear and grief, perhaps his rising desperation and despair. So much in such a restrained sentence. And then this: "Gimli inched his right arm away from his body...and curled his hand around Legolas’ bicep. Legolas looked down at the contact...blinked at the sudden tears that caused the room to swim unsteadily before him. “Lad?” Legolas blinked at Gimli’s rusty voice. “ I will not leave you, now or ever. Rest.” Legolas felt his chest tighten on an involuntary sob, controlled it with the last remnants of his will, turned eyes of fire onto his friend, only to find Gimli’s eyes shut again. The dwarf had drifted back into sleep, still holding onto his arm." The depth of feeling between these two as well as Legolas'pang of relief are shown clearly, but still the expressions are very masculine. Gimli grasps his arm, not his hand, Legolas stifles the sob as quickly as it rises, and though very few words are exchanged,the meaning gets across. I think you did the vigil in a really creative way that was quite dramatic, and you did it with a lovely, light touch. I also loved the eternal, impersonal song of the stars, Legolas' slightly bitter musings on elven endurance and the little reference to the stench of men. The way you built up the feeling of Legolas' fatigue was masterful. It's interesting that he can't sense the presence of Gimli's ring. This review is running to long. I just really enjoyed this whole chapter! ~TF Author Reply: Thank you for 'getting' my writing with such pleasure TF. It is hard to tell you how much it makes this process worthwhile, I often don't feel very mainstream with my take on M-e so having your appreciation makes me feel all gooey. And like getting on with the next chapter by crikey! Rose | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 9/20/2005 |
| I was interested in Legolas saying his connection to Arda was muted. Is that a result of magic leaving I wonder? Or is it something else? But even with it muted, he's still sitting in an open window. Lovely imagery as always, Rose, and I especially liked the image of Legolas as a mother cat with one kitten, "sleep sodden," not all in the waking world yet. Author Reply: I think the rearrangements that have happened in Arda have profoundly disturbed our fav. elf. and lets face it, change is not his forte (or even, arguably, sll that good for him) Like the rest of us he'll get over it - heh Rose | |
| Imrahoil | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 9/20/2005 |
| 3 chapters? I should take a long weekend - Athens, goody, eh? - more often - nudge, nudge, I can't write reviews when I'm not online -. You are panting really hard for a holiday, aren't you? Well, whatever drives you on I won't complain. Haven't read a word so far - my boss is breathing rather forthfully into my neck at the moment, phhh, nothing here that can't be done later as well -, but I have glimpsed thousands of ValaRs and MaiaRs etc., Rose, stooop it. So, thanks for delivering, be patient, reviews are coming, if slowly, and CONGRATULATIONS, I'm so glad. Author Reply: Fooled you - this time there are more than one Vala - heh. But, not more than one Maia, so wrong again - a bare 'a' just looks wrong - damn the English language. Since you helped deliver this patient I will be patient and await your judgement (read daw's review btw - I didnt know that!) Nice to hear from you I was getting worried. Athens huh? Jealous? moi? - never. Rose | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 9/20/2005 |
| Great first sentence. Great conclusion. And everything in between - guess what? - terrific. Poor Legolas. Boy, do you get across how this immortal being is - stretched thin, tormented, haunted by the spectre of unendurable loss and the knowledge of its eternal endurance. Even the night gets a break and rests in the warmth of the day - but the elves go on. “ I will not leave you, now or ever. Rest.” I'm not surprised that Legolas found this worth pondering. Here we have a dwarf on his last legs - and who has been for some while - promising an endurance of which no mortal is capable. Yet from one whose faithfulness is legendary. Probably a good thing Legolas can't yet see into his meaning. You can certainly see Radagast's long experience against Earnulf's still rather puppy-like bounce as they find the two missing members of their party. And that was a rather impressive way for Gimli to demonstrate the power of his ring. So Legolas hasn't sensed its presence? Too tired? Too worried? Or too diminished by the incomplete working? To which, I suppose, Radagast, as one of Iluvatar's pre-Ardan spirits, could well be exempt. Excellent. More please. Author Reply: Bod you are so generous with your reviews - thank you, thank you. I am glad this story is still flying for you, it keeps wanting to twist into its own path, sometimes I let it and other times I get all cross and strict and make it do what I want. Twisty bit may be coming up - hah! Leggy insists he does not sense the ring so why creator person, come on? Person who plays archer in film stands with legs apart arms folded looking sorta grim and yum. Sigh, you are young enough to be my son, laddy, don't be giving me those looks. Getting late, must sleep. More soon. Rose | |