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| When the Dwarf Came A-Visiting by Miriel | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Miss Aranel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/20/2003 |
| Pip is right, this shall be a "most magnificent visit"...if not harrowing for poor Bilbo! Author Reply: Lol...poor Bilbo. *grins evily* | |
| Orangeblossom Took | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/20/2003 |
| LOL! This is so cute! Thank you. Author Reply: You're welcome. :) | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/19/2003 |
| Hi, Miriel! I couldn't find an e-mail address for you anywhere, so I hope you don't mind me responding in this way. First of all, please don't fret about people reading your chapters without reviewing. In my experience, only a tiny percentage of people who read a story leave comments about it. I have no idea why, but that's just the way it is for most of us. I do have some suggestions... You tend to write fairly short, choppy sentences. A smoother, longer style might be easier on the reader. Also, how old is Pippin? Why didn't Bilbo ask Bombur any questions about how he's been, and ask for news about all the other dwarves? Bilbo doesn't seem the least bit curious about anything. This is a delightful beginning, however! I hope Bag End's beds can handle dwarves! Author Reply: After the story is completed, I now look back and say "thank you!!" for your wonderful constructive critisism on the chapter. It really helped me with the story. | |