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| The River by Indigo Bunting | 17 Review(s) |
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| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/28/2006 |
| Fantastic! So glad to see this. Sam is unbelievably courageous - he can screw himself up to do almost anything in defence of those he loves. It might, in some ways, be more sensible for him to run, but it would just go against his nature to abandon Legolas to torture from that vile Dorlic. I hope he concentrates on hamstringing the evil ones. That'll be enough to stop them, and he'll be able to get out of their way more quickly. Now, why did Garan take so many off in pursuit of the dogs? Those dogs would have come back on their own, surely. I hope he hasn't set this whole thing up. Though I think he would have expected Sam to run - he's not the kind of person who would sacrifice himself for the love of another. Wonderful chapter. I'm looking forward to more! Author Reply: Thank you so much, Bodkin. It's nice to see that you're still reading. Sam's courage is one of his greatest hallmarks, isn't it? Really, it's second only to his loyalty. The lovely think about that courage is that he doesn't seem to recognize it in himself. He surely doesn't think of himself as a coward, but neither would he describe himself as brave. I agree with you that it would be completely against his nature to leave a friend in such immediate danger. About Garan and the dogs: there were two reasons for his going. First, he really did want to get the dogs back. He has always suspected that Sam and Legolas weren't alone. He has been thinking that once Sam 'fessed up to having more companions, he could send his current prisoners to Isengard with a portion of his party, leaving him (and the rest of his men) free to literally sniff out the others. He doesn't know what hobbits could be carrying that would be so valuable to a wizard, but he's got to have some guesses. Garan's second reason for going wasn't so much a reason as it was a fringe benefit. Garan had been focusing all of his energies on Sam, thinking that he could break him. So far his tactics haven't worked, so he decided to let Dorlic have a go at Legolas. Legolas has been Garan's trump card for some time now; perhaps if Sam won't talk to save his own skin, he'll talk to save Legolas'. Garan didn't want to give Sam the chance to actually talk this time, though. He wanted to punish him and Legolas both, so he left. Sam's got no one to appeal to with Garan gone. Garan plans to come back, find Legolas in whatever state Dorlic saw fit to leave him in, and start bargaining with Sam for an end to it. Ugh! | |
| Auntiemeesh | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/27/2006 |
| I was pretty sure that Sam wouldn't be able to leave Legolas, but you did the build-up quite nicely. Poor Sam, what a horrible position to be in. I was so proud of him for sticking it out. Can't wait to see the next chapter. :) Author Reply: Thanks, Auntiemeesh. Yes - most people seemed to guess that Sam wouldn't end up just running off. Go Sam! And I can't wait to post the next chapter! | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/27/2006 |
| Ahh--have waited SO long for this, and well worth the wait, in spite of being a cliffhanger! Sam has found their weapons and his courage, and I think the four men are about to get a severe lesson on the abilities of halflings when they are up against the wall. Hooray! And now we're going back to the POV of the rest of the Fellowship? Good enough! (And, yes, "Bunkie" was Aragorn. Come on, Aragorn! Hee!) Author Reply: Yes - do teach them, Sam, and teach them well! I am sorry about the cliffhanger; I think some authors put them in just to be nasty and try to up their readership/review count, but this one fell right where it was supposed to be. I think it makes the story stronger as a whole but it can't be pleasant to wait. I know that I don't like it when I'm dying to find out what happens next in a story and there's no update... no update... no update! I'm doing my best to make sure that that doesn't happen here. The next chapter is coming along very swiftly; it's already at 9000 words and counting. It's amazing how some chapters practically write themselves when others have to be dragged out word by word! | |
| XtremeFrolicker | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/26/2006 |
| I'm so happy that you updated it! This is one of my favourite stories on the site. You show extreme creativity in your work, and I hope you keep it up! Author Reply: Oh, wow - one of your favorites? I'm so glad that you told me! That absolutely makes my day - heck, my week! I'm keeping it up as fast as I can, and right now, it's going very well. The next update should come a lot faster than usual. | |
| Lamiel | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/26/2006 |
| Oh my word, this chapter was worth every minute of the wait, and then some! Thank you so much! Sam is so brave -- foolhardily so, some might say, but I felt that his attack of the Men was in perfect keeping with his character. He might be a Hobbit, but he'll go on to face Shelob and an entire Orc tower. This shows some of that strength beginning to come out. And the scene with Legolas and the trees was amazing. Absolutely incredible. You paced it well, showing the action and the reaction of the Men and Sam. That's hard to do, but you pull it off well. Oh, I just hugged myself when I read that scene. Brilliant! One suggestion, if I may. You pack a lot of action into the opening of the chapter through Sam's recollection of events. You handle it well, but writing flashbacks is one of the hardest things to do. A general rule that I've found helpful is to write the past-past-tense (Sam had... he had...) twice in the beginning of the flashback, and write the rest in your usual style (past-present). In the scene where Garan invaded Sam's mind, for instance, I would begin it as you did, "He had been able to see... he had smelled..." but then switch to your regular style for the rest of the scene. "He became aware... Garan's voice boomed..." It's a very small thing, but writing the entire scene "he had... Garan had..." becomes distracting if it's done too often. Once you've brought your reader into the flashback you can just relax and write the action as you usually would. And you do write about the best suspenseful action sequences I've ever seen. This chapter was just breathtaking. I mean that literally -- I was holding my breath through most of it. When Garan threatened Sam with the hot sword...! And again I was just blown away by Legolas' use of the trees. Fantastic. I understand that you need to go back to the rest of the Fellowship at this point, but I do hope that we can return to our brave Hobbit and Elf soon. Good heavens, what a cliff-hanger! I'm so looking forward to seeing what happens next. Author Reply: It’s great to hear from you again, Lamiel! I’m glad you liked the chapter – I was nervous about it. It’s certainly more intense than most. Although several of the others have had their brief moments, none of them have contained such sustained tension. You’re not the only reviewer to comment on how Sam’s decision to stay is in line with his character in the books (Shelob, the tower, etc). I agree that the smart thing to do as far as self-preservation was concerned would have been to run, but that’s not what Sam could do while Legolas was being attacked. He wouldn’t be Sam otherwise! Please do make suggestions if you feel the need or desire to; sometimes, as in this case, they can be very helpful to me. I know what you mean about flashbacks being difficult to write. Whenever I write them like this – the character thinking about his or her past actions instead of actually “flashing back” into a present tense that has since gone by – I get stuck in that “had” rut. I had (ha ha) never thought of trying what you suggested; I’ll have to take the paragraph in question and see what I can do with it. It’s interesting that when I write scenes like this, I have usually slipped into the simple past tense by the end of them. I’m sure that I had to go back and check this particular paragraph for tense consistency; I know I’ve had to do it with other, similar scenes. But if I can get your method to work to my satisfaction, that would be great. It certainly would make for cleaner writing! I’m glad you liked the tension – and the trees. (That was the part of the chapter that really made me nervous. I had no idea how it would be received.) Heh – here I am, getting spoiled by positive reviews. It’s been a while since I had a real flame. They're not very nice, but they keep you humble. :) The next chapter should be up very soon – possibly this weekend, but more likely early next week. You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve managed to type in the last few days - but it's a lot. The chapter is nearly written, but I punched it out so rapidly that it will probably bear careful rereading. I don’t want to use the same adjective twice in the same sentence. Now that’s embarrassing. :) | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/26/2006 |
| This was so very tense and exciting! I felt almost as desprate as Sam a couple of times. Loved what happened with the trees! I wonder why the dogs are so important that Garan would go after them himself? I do hope he is hiding and waiting for Sam to run. Seems they have all lost sight of what they were doing. I hope Sam is able to do something before they realize that he has the chance. Well worth waiting for! Author Reply: Nice to see you again, Grey Wonderer! Oh, I’m glad you could feel the desperation. That’s exactly what I was going for. I’m glad you liked the trees, too; for a long time I was sure that everyone was going to think that part was ludicrous. About the dogs: Garan’s reason for leaving was twofold. First, he did want them back; he doesn’t believe Sam’s story that he and Legolas are alone. He thinks there are more hobbits and Elves out there, and that they’ve got something Saruman wants. He feels certain that Sam will crack and confirm this, so he wants the dogs around for tracking purposes. The other reason he left was to leave Sam and Legolas alone with Dorlic. Sam has gotten used to the idea that Garan is only going to attack him and not Legolas; by leaving them alone with someone that wants to do Legolas in, Garan is turning this belief on its ear. He thinks it should certainly throw Sam off-balance, perhaps enough that he will talk the next time he is given the chance. If he won’t talk to save himself, maybe he will talk to spare his friend further pain. And with Garan not around while the actual torture takes place (at least this first time), there is no one that Sam can appeal to. Garan is the only one of the Men that he has spent any real time with. I’ll get the next chapter up as fast as I possibly can. I have been writing nonstop in my free time for the past few days, and I am on fire. :) | |
| estelnalissi | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/26/2006 |
| Never! Never!! Never!!! have I been frozen in such a high state of suspense for so long a span of time in a fan fic. My palms were sweaty and I kept thinking, "It can't go on like this!" But it did. Not since Sam struggled with his choices when he took the ring from what he thought was Frodo's dead body have I seen him so torn about what course he should take. What an agonizing decision. I take my reading so seriously that if I write about Legolas's and Sam's courage in this chapter, I'll make myself cry. In terms of wordcraft, my favorite passsages were those where you described Sam's heightened perception. Garan is a relentless villain. His mental manipulation of Sam makes me suspect he's one of the two wizards Tolkien never accounted for. And, why was tracking the dogs his top priority? oh, the trees. For a long time I'll be ruminating over whether they loved and trusted Legolas so much or hated men more to cause them to sacrifice themselves so valliantly. I don't know how long I can dangle on this cliff! Author Reply: Thank you, estelnalissi! I appreciate your taking the time to review! I’m so glad that you like the story as much as you do; it means a great deal to me to hear that others appreciate it. Garan is not one of the two missing wizards. I never thought of that – but that would a fascinating twist, wouldn’t it? No, the guy’s only human – if extremely foul. As far as the dogs are concerned, they’re not actually a major plot point. Garan doesn’t believe that Sam and Legolas are alone. I’m never going to write a chapter from his POV, so I’ll just go ahead and say that he thinks there are more hobbits (witness his question to Sam in this chapter), likely escorted by a party of Elves. I still haven’t decided just how much he knows about Gandalf and what he is, but he must know something; he and Dorlic spoke about the “old graybeard”. Garan wants the dogs so he can do more tracking if need be; their noses were what gave him confirmation of Sam and Legolas’ presence in the gorge in the first place. The dogs eventually did pass them by – Legolas had them duped – but no matter. Also, Garan felt he had something to gain by leaving Sam and Legolas alone with Dorlic. He’s been getting nowhere with Sam, but Legolas has been the ace up his sleeve. Sam has been getting used to the idea that Garan would be taking everything out on him and leaving Legolas alone; Dorlic, however, has been wanting to kill Legolas since day one. With Garan gone, Sam has no one that he even remotely knows to appeal to. He surely would have pleaded with Garan had he stuck around, which might have been smarter on Garan’s part (he could have tried bargaining with Sam for Legolas’ safety or life), but he was angry and wanted to punish them. Plus, he wanted those dogs. I’m glad you liked the part about the trees. I spilled my guts in another review response, so I guess I can do it again here. The trees acted on their own, feeding off of Legolas’ extreme distress. My feeling is that this could happen where Wood-Elves, very strong emotion, and physical contact are involved. They would not have been aware enough to know that the Men were worthy of hatred, but I think that they could certainly pick up on the desperation of a Wood-Elf who was turning to them for comfort and strength. In this case, it was enough to actually wake them up. You probably won’t be hanging off that cliff for too much longer, by the way. You would not believe how much I have managed to write in the last few days! | |
| Nightwing | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/25/2006 |
| Sam the little hero! Perhaps he should have run for it, but he's Sam. And Sam cannot leave a friend in such a terrible situation. Really a fine, exciting update. Sam thinking away during the quiet time at the beginning of the chapter was well written. There was a lot of thinking to be done, and you covered it well without making it tedious or overwrought with angst. The bit with the trees was interesting. Was Legolas somehow able to summon that reaction, or did the trees do it on their own, sensing that an elf was in distress, or are they ent-type thingies? I am sorry that Garan didn't get nailed by the tree that flattened Whit, but I suppose we do need our main baddie for the rest of the tale. The fight was terrific, and having it from the POV of one who is just observing rather than in it made for an interesting twist. And I do like the image of Legolas fighting so fiercely... a chance for this reader to sigh rapturously, as I am a hopeless elf fangirl. He even bit someone! Good for him, doing whatever he can against his captors. And I found it very interesting that the elf apparently never vocalizes during his struggle. He fights in silence. That is another revealing detail about his personality. "Fear oozed along his bones like chilled molasses". Unusual but cool description. I was going nuts as Sam poked around in the packs. Thought for sure he'd be spotted. Run, Sam! But nope, he's a brave hobbit, and the last two paragraphs were just great, full of tension and excitement. Anger can be a powerful weapon, and I expect someone slow to anger like Sam will really be dangerous once he's been brought to full boil. I think the strangling sound Legolas made is what finally triggered the little warrior to launch himself. That sound signaled the end of Legolas' fight, and Sam knew he had to act. Now, he can bury one knife into a man's back. Maybe he can get two strikes in if he's fast. Then, as the other men will be utterly startled and not yet comprehending what is happening, Sam can slice through the ropes binding Legolas' legs so the elf can fight more freely. And then... oh hell, I'm so excited I'm choreographing the rest of the fight in my head! But of course this story is yours, and I must somehow find the patience to wait for your next chapter. Ack, what a cliffie! Great stuff, Indigo! Author Reply: You’re one insightful reader, Nightwing! You hit on a lot of points in that review, some of which are less obvious than others. I love that you speculate on what happened with the trees – whether they moved because Legolas asked something of them, because they picked up on his mood, or because they were Entish. My thoughts here were that the trees acted by themselves, spurred into action by Legolas’ great distress. It seems reasonable to me that a tree could catch the mood of a Wood-Elf, especially if the emotion is strong and there is contact involved. Garan could blame Daerid and Hoddis for putting Legolas together with the tree in the first place. In my mind, though, he didn’t know that such a thing was possible, even with his so-called vaunted knowledge of the Elves. All that being said, I’m glad you thought this part was “interesting”. I hemmed and hawed over it for a while, wondering if readers would scoff at it. I think that an explanation of what happened (which should eventually come in the story) will make it less fantastic. The last thing I want to do is make Legolas “magical”; I want him to be as real and believable as everyone else in the Fellowship. Thanks for the great comments on the fight. I’ve been aware for some time now that I’ve steered away from describing certain events from the POV of the character they were happening to. The descriptions of Garan’s attacks on Sam as seen from Legolas’ POV come to mind. That things worked out that way was a combination of luck and effort. I will admit that I was not comfortable with the idea of writing graphic descriptions of pain. (I think I’ve mentioned that whole “gratuitous/voyeuristic” thing before.) It’s hard to say where the line is for me, and while I’m nowhere near it, I didn’t even want to get close. I mean, really – who wants to write a detailed description of dear Sam being hurt? Ick. Being tossed about in the river is one thing; being routinely assaulted by a sadistic person is another. Ah, I’m digressing again. I wanted to say that you really picked up on something interesting – that Legolas didn’t make much noise during his struggle. I meant for this to be his attempt to hold on to his dignity for as long as possible. He wouldn’t have been able to stay silent if Dorlic had really gotten to work with that knife. You are exactly right about the “strangled sound” that he made being what set Sam off at long last; it’s the final sign that he is lost without Sam’s help. I’ve only got one more thing to say, and that’s with regard to your final guesses at where the fight will go from where it left off. Have you hacked into my computer and read my files?!? No – I’m sure that’s not it. You’re just clever. :) | |
| Periantari | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/25/2006 |
| Pure excitement. Oh man...which part do i like better? The beginning, middle or end? Definitley the ending made me YES SAM GO BEAT UP ON ALL THE MEN, YOU CAN DO IT and then you leave us with an evil cliff-hanger. :-o The introspection in Sam's part was interesting to read about. The trees coming alive was definitely exciting and unforeseen. :D But poor poor Sam... getting sick, thinking about all the decisions he has to make...makes me think of Tolkien's own chapter in "The Choices of Master Samwise". And Garan must die a painful death. Must not hurt Sam... and the fight at the end with Legolas and the men was great! I really like reading fighting sequences and you write it well. But Sam <3 omigosh--i hope we get to read how much he kicks the arses of the Men...(or at least makes a great effort to hurt some) hehe and back to the Fellowship for the next chapter is incredibly welcomed! I so want to know what is happening with them. Great job... so please please pleeeeeeease update soon again! ::fights RL tasks with you:: ;) Author Reply: That was a really interesting comparison you made between Sam’s actions in this story and his actions post-Shelob. I hadn’t thought of it, but I think you’re dead on. The most prudent thing might have been to go on without Legolas, but he couldn’t do it under those circumstances. You seem to be one of the few who want to get back to the Fellowship. After the previous chapter everyone was asking, “When do we get back to the Fellowship?” but now that Sam is taking action, no one wants to break away. :) As always, thanks for the wonderful, uplifting review, periantari. I can’t wait to post again, because I want everyone to know how things pan out! | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 1/25/2006 |
| Go Sam! Go Sam! He may be only three feet tall, but he's got surprise on his side. The shock the men receive at being tackled by a Hobbit with knives may be just the opportunity Legolas needs to get a few good kicks to the nads in. Sam wouldn't have gotten far on his own. Not after being so stiff and cold and sick and abused, and certainly not with Garan and the other three off looking for the dogs. One does wonder why the dogs are so important, though. This is getting exciting! Author Reply: Yes! Go Sam! The Men will most definitely be shocked when they find that he has acquired two very big claws. I agree that Sam probably wouldn’t have gotten too far alone. He had a shot, but he is certainly sick and tired – and if Garan found his pooches, the Men would get on his trail lickety split. I’m glad you think the story is exciting! I went back and reread the last half of the chapter after I’d posted it – with the right background music playing – and my heart was going pitter-pat by the end. And I knew what was going to happen! Somehow, the story always seems a little bit different once it’s been posted online. | |