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The River by Indigo Bunting | 24 Review(s) |
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Antane | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 12/20/2009 |
Greetings, I've been enjoying your story as part of the MEFA's and this is as far as I've gotten so far and in case I can't finish in time, I just wanted you to know that I love Sam with Legolas and I especially love in this chapter that the first thing that Sam asks about is his Mr. Frodo. :) Namarie, God bless, Antane :) | |
pebbles66 | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 11/30/2006 |
I am way behind on reading and reviewing this story, but I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this thrilling chapter. Lots of action and adventure. I'm looking forward to catching up on the rest of the story so far. Thanks for a great read! Author Reply: Whoops! It looks like I missed this review. Thanks for leaving the note, Pebbles! I saw your review for the last chapter and it triggered a memory (I thought you might have left another). Anyway, I'm so glad to know that you enjoyed the chapter! This was a good one, I think. I hope you keep reading through to the end, which is coming pretty soon. | |
rabidsamfan | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 6/11/2006 |
Just rereading... I was so pleased to see this on the list at the MEFA awards! It remains one of my all time favorite Fellowship stories, and I'm pleased to think that new readers will discover it soon. *happy sigh* Author Reply: Hey there! Dreamflower nominated this story for MEFA. Wasn't that sweet? And it's one of your favorite Fellowship stories? Woo hoo! :) I do hope that other people will read and enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. | |
Delrauko | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 5/14/2006 |
Great chapter! im glad they found legolas & i hope he is ok- keep up the great work! :-D Author Reply: Thanks, Delrauko! I'm sorry I took so long to reply. But I'm still alive, still writing, and about ready to post again. Take care! | |
Fire | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/26/2006 |
I absolutely love your story so far. I like seeing Sam do something more than just look after Frodo for a change, and it gives a good inside on how te relationship between Legolas and Gimli came about. Keep at it because I for one can't wait to see how the story will continue Author Reply: Thanks, Fire. I apologize for taking so long to respond. That's not usually like me. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's been both fun and rewarding to do some character development on Sam and Legolas. (I'm with you on wanting to see Sam do more than fret about Frodo, and Legolas' character just needs some serious fleshing out.) Thanks again for taking the time to review, and I hope you'll keep on reading! | |
Dairwendan | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/8/2006 |
It's great to have the Fellowship back together, in whatever condition! I love the new wrinkle with Boromir! Great writing! Thanks! Dairwendan Author Reply: Thanks, Dairwendan! I'm sorry for taking so long to reply. I hope that people are starting to see the pattern in me, though. Sometimes I wait until I'm ready to post the next chapter before responding. This time it just took a really long time. :) Hope you'll still be reading! | |
Ariel | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/7/2006 |
Ah, I had thought not. I read this chapter, as usual, offline, and didn't have the opportunity then. And one thing drives out another, as I am sure you understand. LOL! You did succeed here. Well done! No noticeable difference in the style (which is still highly engaging and readable) but NOTHING I remembered stumbling on! I am so glad you found that advice helpful. It does my heart good to see that I was able to give you something you could use. :D Thank you for that. I see lots of folks with advice and comments on the story actions, but I don't usually comment on story events unless there's something that seems odd to me. So far I am captivated and completely bound up in the story and am just following you! Take me where you will, Captain! You've steered us an exemplary course so far. Author Reply: Oh, shoot. I never did give your email a proper reply, did I? I’m sorry. I’m sure you know what I thought of your comments by now, but I let that get away from me somehow. I also let these responses get away from me; I did about half of the reviews for this chapter right after they were posted and left the rest languishing. I can’t remember why exactly, but it’s been a busy spring and summer, and I had some trouble writing chapter 13. Anyway, the next chapter is about ready, but I’m still rereading it and making little changes. When I came back to finish responding to chapter 12 reviews I went back and found that email you sent, and I’m going to keep it in mind when reading through the chapter for the last time. I’ve already done quite a bit of trimming but there’s got to be room for more. I know me. :) Anyway, thanks again for the advice, and we’ll see if you notice anything. | |
Dreamflower | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/3/2006 |
Ah. At last. I was interrupted so many times the day I read the chapter, and then when I finally finished, I had no time to write a real review. And then I could not get back to it the next day. *sigh* RL can be such a pain sometimes. The tenor of this chapter is subtly different this time. It is not only due to your use of Boromir's POV--which by the way is very well done--but also to the fact that for the first time since very early in the story, the Company has been reunited. In the beginning of course, the suspense is maintained, as Boromir and Aragorn chase the Elf and the hobbit down the current. I love Boromir's recognition that Aragorn actually has more endurance than he--not a grudging admission, but a practical one, and filled with respect. I like your characterization of him here. This is early in the journey; they have not passed through Moria, nor has he been subject to Galadriel's testing. He has not yet begun to be haunted by the Ring, or if he is, it is still a minor and unacknowledged thing, easily put aside by the stress over his companions' fate. All he is concerned with is saving Sam and Legolas, and the possibility of the unknown enemies preventing them from doing so. And then his desperate efforts to bring Sam out of the water, and his memories of Faramir that begin to surface is very effective. And Merry just *shines* here: To Boromir’s surprise, it was Merry who took charge. “Get out of the way!” he snarled, and Frodo and Pippin scrabbled backwards, never taking their eyes off of Sam. Merry knelt at Sam’s side and laid his head upon the gardener’s chest. “No heartbeat,” he announced. Pippin burst into tears, and Boromir felt his heart grow cold. No heartbeat. Surely Sam could not be dead! He had survived the flood, the fall, and who knew what else at the hands of Men only to be lost now during his escape? He rested his tired arms upon his knees and let his head drop forward. He had not run fast enough after all. But Merry had not given up hope. He settled himself firmly upon his knees, pinched Sam’s nose shut, leaned over, and covered Sam’s mouth with his own. At first Boromir was thoroughly startled, but then he saw Sam’s chest rise, and the memory he had pressed down just a short time ago tugged at the corners of his mind. Sam’s chest rose again. I find it very plausible that hobbits who lived on the Brandywine would indeed know what to do for a drowning victim. While I do not always like to see some anachronisms, we have to remember that M-e is not an exact equivalent of the Middle-ages in our world. Remnants of the old knowledge from the West still abound, and the societies there mirror a number of stages of development, while we have to realize that they might have knowledge that was later lost. And I like very much that his resuscitation method was not identical to CPR, though similar enough to be effective. And I know this was *Boromir's* POV, but he is not the only one who must have had memories trigger by the event. Why does Frodo not act? He spent almost half his life in Buckland, after all--but he had to be remembering his parents, probably he was paralysed by fear... Thus it makes it very probable that Merry was the only one who *could* react. I also love the quick and unquestioning way in which Pippin responds to Merry's instructions. Both the younger hobbits shine in this chapter. When Pippin and Merry found their "shelter", I could not help but smile in memory of Sam's comment in the books about "one wall and no roof make a house". I do not know if this was an intentional nod to that, but if it was, it was effective and subtle. The urgent preparations for the surgery ramped up the tension. I loved Merry's startlement, yet instant acquiescence, at being asked to scrub for Aragorn's surgery on Leglolas. And, again, I don't find his medical knowledge anachronistic in the least. He was not only trained by Elrond, the greatest healer of M-e, but he had spent much time in Minas Tirith, where they knew how to cure "all ills such as Men are subject to east of the Sea" (I'm not sure if that's an *exact* quote, but it's close enough). Sam's fear for Legolas proves how close the two of them became during their captivity. And fortunately he was able to get his urgent warning out, so they will not be unprepared for the nature of their enemy. I also loved Pippin's determination to do his part against the enemies who had abused Sam--and Gimli assuaging his pride, by reminding him that he and Merry would need to guard the wounded. And Aragorn's reluctance to see the hobbits possibly have to kill was very touching--in spite of everything, he wants them to hold on to the innocence of that as long as possible. Now at last, all the friends are together again! As always, another chapter of this story has left me wanting more. Even knowing what happened, as I re-read it this morning, my pulse was pounding and my adrenaline was flowing! Author Reply: Hello, Dreamflower! I’m so sorry I didn’t respond to this review sooner. So much time has passed since the last posting that I can no longer remember why I only replied to about half of them. I want you to know that the delayed response is nothing personal (not that I really thought you’d think that, but just to be sure). I love getting your reviews and your feedback is important to me. Gosh, where to start? You mentioned so many things. I’m glad you liked Boromir. I know I’ve said this in some other responses, but I don’t see him as a black-hearted villain. I loved the treatment they gave him in the movies; I actually thought he was a little one-dimensional in the books. (Sacrilege, I know, but there it is.) You are so dead on about how the Ring hasn’t had much of a chance to work on Boromir yet, this being an early date in the Quest. I also think he might have mixed feelings about Aragorn. After all, Aragorn is the man who can come back to Gondor and displace Boromir’s family, but he also has a way of commanding respect. It seems natural to me that Boromir would be watching and weighing Aragorn during the Quest, wondering if he would make a suitable leader for the people that he loves. No one seemed to find the rescue breathing/CPR or “surgery” out of place. I’m glad that everyone seemed to be thinking the same things that I was: that Merry grew up on the Brandywine and ought to have some experience with drowning, and that Aragorn was trained by Elrond. I know what you mean about anachronisms. I try to avoid them, but it can be difficult! I caught myself using the word “riveted” at one point, and while most people probably wouldn’t have noticed it, they didn’t have rivets in Middle-earth. About why Frodo didn’t act when Boromir brought Sam back: yes, he was thinking of his parents, and of Sam, too (who feared deep water; how awful to die in the manner that you most feared!). What’s more, I thought that he probably wouldn’t know what to do. Merry took over so quickly anyway that it didn’t make much difference. I loved developing a relationship between Sam and Legolas in this story. They both come to it with so little knowledge of each others’ races; Sam’s seen the Elves but never known one, and Legolas has had almost no exposure to hobbits. (That’s an assumption, of course, but it seems reasonable.) Being thrown into the situation they were in, they came to depend on and care for one another. Poor Sam. It crushed him to think that they had gotten free at last only to have Legolas die in the attempt. Two more brief comments on your comments. First, Aragorn’s comment about not wanting the hobbits to have to kill does tie in to the story overall. And second, I can’t take credit for the link between the Fellowship’s current shelter and Sam’s comment about one wall and no roof (on Caradhras?). It was unintentional. | |
Mordaen | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/3/2006 |
Your story is really tense! I'm dying to know what happens next. Author Reply: Thanks, Mordaen! Sorry for the crazy long delay in the response to your review, but I left some of them hanging. Not sure why anymore. Anyhow, I’ll post again soon. I hope you pick up the story again. | |
Nightwing | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 3/2/2006 |
Wow, how do you do it?? Sustained tension and anxiety propelled us all the way through this chapter at a breakneck pace, and yet it never became overwrought or repetitive, and the moments of true action were tightly written and exciting. Well done. I want to say I really appreciate the way you are handling Boromir. He is a flawed and complex character, and given what he eventually attempts to do to Frodo, it is easy for people to dismiss him as vain, weak, susceptible, and even evil. He deserves none of these labels. He's actually one of my favorite members of the Fellowship. I was not very fond of the book Boromir - he did come off as quite arrogant and snippy - but I really loved how the actor Sean Bean portrayed him in the films. He made the Man of Gondor a fully rounded and very compelling character, and I developed great sympathy for him. And it didn't hurt that I found Sean Bean quite attractive. I like big guys. :) So I thank you for doing right by Boromir. And you've given us a glimpse into a frightening story in his past that has obviously affected him deeply. Which brings me to another point, which you had mentioned to Ithilien in your response (of course I read other reviews and your responses to them, I'm nosy as hell when it comes to my favorite writers) - the river as a character. You have many of our Fellowship members interacting with and reacting to it. Whether it be Sam's fear of water and his inability to swim, Boromir's memory of Faramir's near-drowning, Legolas fighting for his and Sam's lives when they were caught in the rapids, Merry's life-long association with the river near his home and his knowledge of rescue breathing, the river has really taken on a huge roll in this story. It's very interesting. I'm with Lamiel in supporting the idea that Aragorn possessed an understanding of the relationship between infection and uncleanliness. It would be too much of a stretch to have him mention "germs" and "bacteria", but he is an exceptionally gifted and intuitive healer, and was taught by Lord Elrond himself. Though men didn't have any idea back then about how infection was caused, no doubt the elves at least had figured out that things needed to be kept clean when treating wounds. I also think that it's possible that Merry knew how to do rescue breathing. I had it in my story as well, and really gnawed my nails down in worry, wondering if it would fly historically. I couldn't find any medical references as to when mouth-to-mouth was first discovered, until I discovered a reference to it in, of all things, Beowulf. Which is, of course, from the way back old days. As Tolkien was a Beowulf scholar, that was good enough for me! Mouth-to-mouth in Middle-earth? You betcha. I do not know if you are a "typo fixer". If you are, I'll point them out in case you want to log in and effect repairs. First part, during the chase, Aragorn says "They are moving faster than they are". I'm thinking it should read "They are moving faster than we are". Next one: when the companions are huddled around the fire, and Boromir "could not conscience doing nothing". Perhaps "could not in good conscience do nothing"? Last one: Sam telling the others about the baddies. "They were tying to make us tell" change to "trying". I'll mention one thing that seems a bit off in the POV. This is just my eye, and perhaps it'll look fine to you, but I'll mention it and see what you think. The sentence is "Boromir made as if to rise, but Gimli stopped him". This does not sound like the POV of Boromir himself, but of someone watching him. Boromir would either rise or not in his own observations of himself, there would be no "as if to", no guessing. How does it seem to you? All right, I'll go now. I know I'm being a complete pain in the neck with this massive beast of a review. Sorry it's so long and obnoxious. Blame the icy roads. School was cancelled, and I am home with my child rather than at work today. Did I not have this long lovely lazy day ahead of me, my review would have been about five sentences long. I'll part with saying I'm immensely worried about our two injured friends. Legolas will be hurting for some time, but with that Elven stamina he'll pull through. Sam though... I'm concerned. I have not forgotten that he felt ill before with a sore throat and rising fever. With everything else he has had to endure, I fear we will soon have a hobbit with pneumonia on our hands. Aragorn will have his work cut out for him. Boromir is exhausted and chilled, everyone is worn out, and the baddies are not finished with our friends yet. I'm sure they're coming - an ambush in the dark perhaps! Oh wait, I must mention Pippin!! He was great in this chapter, doing his part and trying to be helpful. He's becoming quite the little outdoorsman isn't he? The scene of him building the fire and commenting on the quality of the fuel raised him in my esteem. He's learned much, and I am pleased to see the youngest member of the Fellowship portrayed as something other than a complete imbecile. All right, I'm gone. Good grief... Author Reply: Hello, Nightwing! I’ve got to start off by apologizing for not replying to your review sooner. I know you say you read other people’s reviews, so I probably don’t have to say this again, but I got away from my responses for a while and never went back. I do remember feeling that I didn’t have the heart to work on the responses while I was having trouble with the chapter that I’m about to post. Please don’t apologize for leaving long reviews! You are an excellent reviewer, and I always look forward to reading what you have to say. You mentioned so many things that I want to respond to that I am sure the response will be at least as long as the review. I’ll start with saying that I am a rabid typo-fixer, and I appreciate your pointing them out. My own eyes go over each chapter so many times that certain errors go utterly unnoticed. The only two you listed that weren’t unintentional were the “made as if to rise” sentence and the use of “conscience” as a verb. I’ve seen “conscience” used that way before, but I couldn’t find any reference to it as a verb when I looked it up, so I’ll change it. I understand the “made as if to rise” bit myself, but it is a little awkward, so I’ll change that to “started to rise”. I don’t enjoy being distracted by muddled sentences or technical errors in other people’s stories, so I don’t want them to be found in mine. About Boromir and Pippin. I liked Sean Bean’s Boromir better than Tolkien’s Boromir, too. (Gasp! Treason!) I think that we saw more of his flaws than his strengths in the book (although Tolkien does let his worthiness shine through in the end). I picture Boromir as being a very noble man, one who loves his family and his people. I also think that it is this love that serves as his weakness as well as his strength. I imagine that the Ring lures him with promises of the salvation of Gondor (and perhaps a contented Denethor) rather than personal glory. As for Pippin: In many stories I have read, he comes across as rather twee. (I like that word – twee. So fun to say.) I think too much is made of the fact that Pippin is not of age, and while Tolkien did establish his tendency to get into scrapes, that can’t be his only defining trait. He’s not stupid, and he’s not a twelve-year-old. I often find stories in which the other characters address Pippin as if he were still a child! How many nearly-of-age humans appreciate being treated in such a manner? None that I know of. I think Pippin would be anxious to prove his worth amid both the older hobbits and the Big Folk of the Fellowship, who all happen to be warriors. But I also think that when real danger comes knocking he’d forget about trying to prove himself and just act. On to first aid and rescue breathing in Middle-earth. Everything that you said about the Elves and cleanliness is precisely what I was thinking of. You are dead on about the Elves never having heard of bacteria, but I thought that they certainly might have puzzled out the link between infections and dirt. I don’t think it takes a great leap of imagination to think that washing one’s hands before sticking them in an open wound is a good idea. And as you said, Aragorn was trained by Elrond, the greatest healer in Middle-earth. If anyone should know about the link between cleanliness and healing, he should. As far as rescue breathing goes, I didn’t worry about it for too long. This is something else that I thought might have been puzzled out by folk who lived near water. I don’t think that trying to force air into a drowning victim’s lungs is a terribly novel concept. In the next chapter I’ve got Merry observing that it doesn’t always work, and he doesn’t know why, but that there’s no point in not trying. I thought that Merry’s efforts to give Sam’s heart a jolt were logical, too. If he hadn’t thrown Sam against the ground, I would have had him thwacking Sam’s chest with his fist now and again. A lot of people seem to be concerned that the end of the story is imminent. You don’t, though, and you’re quite right – for all the right reasons. How can the end be here what with Legolas out cold (literally), Sam coming down with something, Garan stalking about with the worst of intentions and everyone else just plain worn out? No, there is certainly more coming! There’s a part of me that doesn’t want the story to end – I enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it – but I know that I’ll feel very pleased when it’s completed. It has turned out better than I expected and received a response the like of which I had never dreamed of. People really seem to enjoy it. Put that all together, and when the story ends I will be able to declare it a success in my book. | |