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My Sword Sings - Book One - 'My Sword' Series  by Agape4Gondor 4 Review(s)
FiondilReviewed Chapter: Author's Notes on 6/1/2007
Well, I just finished reading this story and as promised am writing this review. It was heartbreaking to see Boromir dying so young. I suppose it was never his fate to be the Steward of Gondor. I loved the character of Indis. It's rare to see strong women characters who don't come off sounding like total harridans and shrews. She is definitely a force to be reckoned with. The introduction of canon characters, especially those who are minor characters in LOTR, such as Targon, or, like Éomund, are already dead, was cleverly and seamlessly done.

Much of this story, especially with the treatment of the children reminded me of Katherine Kurtz's "Deryni" stories, the ones that take place centuries before Kelson. It is harrowing to read the abuse of children who are seen only as pawns in the cruel game of politics. Amandil and his cronies care nothing for the well-being of Boromir and Faramir. I trust there's a special place in Mandos for people like that and that Lord Námo gives them a... er... good talking to. I'm sure not even Eru would want them sullying the Timeless Halls with their presence.

I liked the portrayal of Théodred, who we know only from the reports of others, as he dies off-screen, so to speak, in LOTR. I had to go back to the Appendices to discover that he and Boromir were indeed the same age. That is something I never knew. It's even more interesting, when you look at the Tale of Years for 3019, that Théodred and Boromir die one day apart from one another.

I am curious about your source for Sindarin, since some of it appears wrong. "Llasto" is incorrect. It should simply be "Lasto". The double-l does not exist in Sindarin and as far as I remember, never did. "Melethril" properly means "female lover". The masculine equivalent is "melethron". I have no idea where "potilas" comes from. There is no attested word for "patient/sick person" in either Sindarin or Quenya. The closest win Sindarin ould probably be "caeleb" meaning "bedridden, sick". Possibly one could construct the word "caeleben" meaning "bedridden/sick person" from "caeleb" + "pen", which means "someone". "Verno" is neither Sindarin nor Quenya. The Sindarin word for "husband" is "hervenn"; the Quenya equivalent is "venno". And "come here" should be "tolo hí" as the adverb seems to suffer soft mutation in this position.

Picky, I know, but I hate improper use of the Eldarin languages when there are any number of websites that offer proper wordlists and grammar rules.

According to my OE dictionary, "undertaker" should be "andfenga" with plural "andfengan".

Anyway, please do not think that this in any way is meant to disparage your story. I truly enjoyed it even if it was sad with Boromir dying. I found the plot suspenseful and believable simply because I'm aware of our own history and the terrible things done in the name of politics and greed. The characters were superbly drawn and three-dimensional and I was rooting for them to the very end. I am looking forward to reading the sequel(s).

Author Reply: Hello, Fiondil,

My deepest thanks for your comprehensive review. Something like this is very hard to come by; I most appreciate the time you took.

Every time I had to write Boromir or Faramir or Theodred or Targon - the writing just seemed to flow. I fell in love with these young people's courage in the face of massive horrors! As for the men of Rohan - though I am by soul in love with Gondorians - they took me by surprise and made me love them too!

If you could find it in your heart to, perhaps someday, write a little tale of Namo's wrath upon men such as those who did the atrocities for naught but their own profit....

http://home.comcast.net/~modean52/oeme_dictionaries.htm is where I found Andfangol for undertaker.

http://www.logosdictionary.org/pls/dictionary/new_dictionary.gdic.main?word=potilas is where I found the Finnish translation for patient. I did not like the Old English word and since Tollers liked Finnish - I decided to use it. The one who uses the word 'potilas' is Rohirric - that's why I didn't use Sindarin or Quenya.

As for the Elvish translations - my deepest thanks! I have changed them. It is extremely difficult to find a good translator for Elvish (Sindarin or Quenya) - so I tried my best! But I truly BOW to your expertise in this area - you are incredible!

I think 'llasto' got caught up in my fingers or my Spanish... and verno, I think, was a typo!

Again - deepest thanks!

LauraReviewed Chapter: Author's Notes on 9/4/2006
Truly captivating. Excellent story telling.

Mysterious JediReviewed Chapter: Author's Notes on 5/13/2006
excellent so far

Author Reply: Thank you. I think you will enjoy the entire tale. I've had fun writing it!

Mysterious JediReviewed Chapter: Author's Notes on 5/13/2006
excellent so far

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