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| Ten Thousand Years Will Not Suffice by Agape4Gondor | 2 Review(s) |
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| SurgicalSteel | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 11/16/2006 |
| You've definitely laid the seeds here for Denethor's future bitterness toward the man once known as 'Thorongil.' And poor Finduilas! | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 20 on 4/9/2006 |
| Well, that was certainly a densely packed chapter! There's lots going on here, and Denethor is almost in over his head trying to keep up with it all. Ecthelion, it must be said, is an idiot. He's spending far more time trying to think of ways to spite Denethor than actually running Gondor. If those roving bands of Orcs had any brains in their evil little skulls, they'd have attacked Minas Tirith long ago. Interesting how Ecthelion gets off playing Denethor and Thorongil against each other. As my friend's mother says, "high school never ends." At least Thorongil was man enough to end it and take off at the high point of his career. In hindsight, perhaps Denethor should have taken Finduilas to Thengel's funeral. Even if she didn't know Thengel since her childhood, it would still have been appropriate for her to go as Denethor's wife. And she wouldn't have been feeling all alone and abandoned in time to experience her first earthquake. Oh well, live and learn. Denethor will regret this in the end. Your thees and thous are getting better -- unlike most people who make the attempt, you know the basics of when it's appropriate to use them, and that makes readers happy. There were a few little bobbles, and some constructions that were perhaps more awkward than they needed to be. In general, just keep the language simple, and it'll be easier to write and that much more effective. Author Reply: Hi, French Pony! I agree withe you regarding Ecthelion - but I have sympathy for the man too - to be a Steward of Gondor in the age he lived in, with a father who did nothing to protect their country - well, as I said, I pity him, but wish he had a counselor who could have helped! As for Denethor - should 'a, could 'a's are always nice - but life is full of them... As you can see by part two - Denethor has a lot of them!!! Still working on the language - I have found that Shakespeare does use knowest a few times??? What do you think? Thanks for reading and responding! Agape | |