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Your Heart Will Be True by Write Sisters | 5 Review(s) |
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RS | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 4/25/2006 |
I had a feeling it was a trap. Now, were the orders from Faramir or where they fake orders forged by Mavranor? Battle scenes were horrific and graphic which had me cringing. It felt like I was in the midst of it--I was actually frightened for Erynbenn and his men! I'm glad at least Erynbenn had the satisfaction of knowing that Faramir had come before he blacked out. Very good! | |
Imbecamiel | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 4/23/2006 |
You. Had. Better. Not. Kill. Him. *glares* I don’t care what you say about the story being already written - IF YOU’VE KILLED HIM YOU’D BETTER GET STARTED ON SOME PRETTY QUICK RE-WRITING! He CAN’T die! I LIKE HIM! You CAN’T kill him! It-it… *thinks frantically* It would be too mean to Bartho! Think of all the poor guy’s been through already! You can’t do that to him! YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO *ME*! *scowls* And yes, I realize I’m reviewing totally out of order. And yes, I’m going to go back to the beginning and do it properly now. And yes, if he actually dies, I will kill you. Oh that does have to be quite nerve-wracking. He’s spent most of his life among Dunedain, who spent years learning how to move stealthily, and who spent most of their lives trying to be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible, and trying NOT to be noticed. Now he’s in charge of men who, while they may be very good soldiers, have never really been taught the value of silence, and are much more used to the direct approach than sneaking around and trying to take people by surprise. And it’s kinda hard not to notice an entire army. //“We have a clear, straight course, and I'd like for this to be as quiet and unobtrusive as two hundred running soldiers can be, understood?"// LOL! Well… Good luck with that, then… Gack! Ambush is not good. Especially when you’ve just brought a small force to take care of a supposedly much weaker enemy… I hope this doesn’t mean the scouts have betrayed them, too! That’s *just* what the Gondorian army could use about now - a few more traitors in positions of trust :-P Whoa! Mavranor’s been digging tunnels?! Now there’s an… unpleasant surprise… Apparently this woman has lost none of her plotting, scheming skills over the years. Not exactly what they needed to hear right about now… //"No, I always sleep like this; saves time when catastrophes intrude on my sleep. Where is Erynbenn?”// LOL! Sleeping fully armed… How very like Bartho :-) And it says something about how well Faramir knows him by now that he barely even raises an eyebrow at the discovery - and that he doesn’t even try to keep him from coming to Erynbenn’s rescue. *sighs* It’s happening again… Already, I think I’m beginning to really like Anto. At first, I was actually inclined to be quite suspicious of him, considering he was Erynbenn’s only lieutenant and the way they were ambushed by what was supposed to be a much smaller group... Hehe, but apparently the fact that Tantur’s made me start to get suspicious of everyone doesn’t keep me from instantly liking everyone anyways… *g* Ah and here we are again, at the place where I throw a fit, and panic, and worry obsessively over a character’s fate. Only I won’t. No, this time I will be quite calm and collected. This is, after all, “only” a story, with mere fictional characters, who… who… WHO YOU HAD BETTER NOT KILL! I LIKE Erynbenn, and he’d BETTER not die! You-you YOU JUST CAN’T! If you do, I’ll-I’ll… I’ll… I’ll quit reading! That’s it, I’ll quit reading! *looks smug* I’ll just go away, and quit reading, and… never find out what happened… *blinks* On second thought… You’d better not kill him OR ELSE! *smiles happily at sufficiently vague threat* Wonderful chapter (as long as Erynbenn’s not dead)! Looking forward to more (especially if Erynbenn’s not dead *g*)! -Cami P.S. Would you tell Chloe for me that I really *haven’t* forgotten her? I *am* going to finish reviewing for her! I’ve just had so many editing requests lately that, what with trying to keep up with one thing and another, my reviewing time has been extremely limited :-P But I haven’t forgotten! Author Reply: *hides with her sister under the desk* Golly, Hannah, we really got a rise out of the readers this time, didn't we? *anxious peek to see if coast is clear yet...* *...it isn't...* *...in fact there is a slightly crazed looking Cami lying in wait for them with an 'Or Else'* Eep! I'll just respond to your feedback from down here, shall I? In regards to Erynbenn, whose safety seemed the single greatest concern of your review, I feel I can only say: proceed to the next chapter! All will be revealed! Any apologies for freaking you out like this, any reassurances or condolences (which might either of them be premature), and certainly any attempts to calm you down would probably not be very wise at this juncture. *sheepish grin* Rant away, dear. *laughs* Nef mentioned that you guys like war movies, so you'll understand when I say that I've always pictured Dunedain as the equivalent to Army Rangers -- and thus Erynbenn's predicament equivalent to an Army Ranger captain suddenly handed the job of leading a platoon of regular ground troops, and a green ones at that. Aggravating indeed! No, no betrayal from the scouts -- just a fairly typical case of bad information, coupled with a tidy ambush. I think back to the days before high-tech communication devices and I wonder how *anyone* managed to win wars. Once you set out, you're pretty much on your own, no matter how plans change -- and when things DO change, you don't find out about it until it's far too late to do anything or regroup. It all seems to so hopelessly hunt-and-peck and keep-your-fingers-crossed... *rueful shrug* Mavranor may be a decaying old bat, but as you say: she's still got her edge. *laughs* I'm glad you enjoyed the fresh Bartho-ism! I think he would probably join you in your threats on Erynbenn's behalf, thus it behooves us to either cave to common demand or... find a better hiding place. I'm glad you like Anto! He was a second-draft character, nonexistent right up until the this chapter, and then he suddenly wrote himself into place. I'm going to go out on a semi-illegal limb here and tell you not to worry: Anto is not a second Tantur (we didn't think about how suspicious Tantur might make everyone else seem!), and furthermore he survives this story mostly intact. *grins* It's the least I can do after we killed Tirin off! I'll pass on your message to Chloe! I'm sure she would honestly tell you not to worry -- she's having troubles of her own with that series. *grins* Thank you for the wonderful review!! More coming today (I dearly hope)! | |
Beriathwen | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 4/20/2006 |
I'm the worst reviewer ever! I'm rather new at this. And I didn't discover this story until there was already like 25 chapters! I will try to be more consistent reviewing from now on. You are very talented writers! I wish I could write like that! I just finished Death and Despair and I'm almost done with Thorongil (I'm not sure if I'm reading them in order...) They're great stories and I'm kinda glad I discovered them late so I don't have to wait for updates (which is absolute torture!) Oh my my goodness! Erynbenn had better not be dead! That would be dreadful! *sob* He's a wonderful character! And Bartho! I fell in love with Bartho when he first showed up! Don't know why I always fall for the tall dark silent types, but characters like Bartho get me every time (that's certainly not to say that I'm not particularly attached to a certain blonde elf and a certain ranger who shall both remain nameless...) Anyway, be nice to Bartho! (menacing growl) I look forward to the next update! And maybe with practice I'll get better with this reviewing stuff! : ) Author Reply: Heavens, you are most certainly not the worst reviewer ever! This is wonderful! No matter how short, we love to hear that you're reading our story and enjoying it! That puts you on the 'best' list. *grins* And if reviewing is a compliment, reading our previous work is even more flattering. I'm glad you're enjoying them! Yes, you're reading them in the right order -- the next one after 'Thorongil' is 'Darkest Night', and then this one. Erynbenn's fate will be decided in the next chapter (which I hope to post tonight or tomorrow, depending...) I'm glad you like Bartho! We're rather fond of silent types too (again: barring that elf and ranger duo). Knowing how fond you (and we) are of him, we shall try to be nice! Thank you for the excellent review, and we hope you keep reading! | |
Lady Saruman | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 4/20/2006 |
By the way, did you know that you never answered any of our reviews for Chapter 21? And can you please tell me what site you get your elvish from? I'm rather keen on learning. -Lady Saruman Author Reply: Sorry I wasn't more clear about this: What with my car disaster, I found I simply wasn't going to be able to respond to those reviews. *sighs* They were wonderful, and I wish I could, but it's about all I can do to keep up with the current work, and I'm afraid there's no time to go back. Sorry! And thank you for your review on 21, even if I couldn't give it the proper attention! Oh, and I mention our elvish translating method in my reply to your longer review! *smiles* | |
Lady Saruman | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 4/20/2006 |
Didja notice my prolonged absence for about four chapters or so? Or did you become so obsessed in answering the reviews of others that you forgot me completely? Okay, there was a BIG reasonable excuse for my monthly absence. School has been killing me, and due to two projects due on one day, I had to pull two all-nighters already. >_< Sooooooooooooooooo, I printed out chapters 24 and 25 at school to read. See, that proves that I love your story--that I printed some of it out--I'm planning to print out the whole story, but I think the librarian's starting to suspect something. <=( Okay, so here is my review for chapters 24, 25, and 26 all squashed in one. Enjoy, Sarah a.k.a. "melin waani nin"! =) CHAPTER 24 (Thirteen pages!!!) I loved it at the beginning how you made the loving greeting between Tirin and Tindu. Secretly it was a good thing for the former to kidnap the latter, otherwise the cartographer/historian would never have left the scriptorium AT ALL, as her brother astutely tells her. Tirin's suspicion of Vardnauth at this early stage is one of the things I would credit him for--him being the astute warrior he is. I would have thought that Tindu should have suspected something, because her young pupil is all of a sudden interested in Lady Galadriel's and Lord Celeborn's powers and how they are ruling Lothlorien. This information has given Tindu quite a shock, seeing as she refuses to accept this. But, I like how you concluded that part but using Tirin's heavy treads to describe his weariness: "Oh, agreed," he whispered, and turned and left her there. His feet, normally light enough to walk across snow without marking it, left heavy imprints in the soft ground by the river. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Around this time Galadriel looks into her mirror and discovers the ambush of her daughter. I can vividly imagine how she reacted once she saw elves fighting and dying, orcs, and her own Celebrian being attacked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tirin's sons--Tindu was right. This lucky father was blessed with three perfect sons. They are alert, and they can guess the truth of what was going on in his mind at the time. Okay, the paragraph below is completely irrelevant to the review and the chapters that follow, but I think I'll explain it anyways so that you can see why I react as I do later. The whole "irrelevant" paragraph will be marked with astericks. ***At school, it started with my friend and I about LoTR. She decided that we should each take some character that is single to be our "husband". So, being that she thinks that Orlando Bloom is hot (and well, he is), she jacked Legolas. Then she decided to pair me up with Gimli and I accepted for a while (because she and my other friends are bloody stubborn and won't accept anyone else and so keep teasing me about Gimli, despite the fact that I keep telling them that he's given his heart to Lady Galadriel), until one day I retaliated and said that I killed the dwarf with my own ax. So, after that, I claimed Haldir as mine, naturally, and I admire him for his talents and his character. Maybe after you've read this you'll understand why I behave oddly later on. =)*** Now, on with the rest of this exceedingly long review. Rúmil seems like a mature enough elf, so I don't think Haldir could have exaggerated that badly, seeing as he said "Oh, aye, Rúmil needs such looking after." Oh and being that Haldir is MINE, I won't accept the fact that he snorts. Sorry if I seem authorative or whatever the word is, but I'm not trying to get you to change your story or anything like that, so no hard feelings =). The confrontation with Varnauth from Tirin turns out to be more--for want of a better word--dramatic than I thought it would be. Such a misfortune that the Lady of the Golden Wood came at the time that she did, otherwise Tirin wouldn't have been killed and Vardnauth without the chance to have drank the water with the powers that allow Galadriel to scry in her Mirror. It was absolutely unbearable to see Vardnauth STEAL some of the water from the mirror and drink it. Serves him right for the pain. And if he had not expected this, then what DID he expect, that meddlesome heinous fool! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You killed Tirin! Why?! WHY?! *Sobs in agony* As Imbecamiel has said, and I agree with her, I have grown to love ALL your characters in a short period of time (Yes, even Vardnauth--he's certainly evil, but there's still something that you've put into him that makes him admirable a character all the same.) You'd better not kill Haldir too. PLEASE! Now you have sundered Tirin and his wife forever... though she may be in Valinor, Tirin is dead and therefore his soul has departed to the Halls of Mandos. Orophin has found his father--and the one who had murdered him. The youngest of the three Tirinions should realize how lukcy he was to have gone by Vardnauth unscathed. However, Orophin's discovery has revealed Vardnauth's betrayal--and that is good in one way because he can alert Lord Celeborn and everyone else so that they can be on the alert. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vardnauth has got to be the most conceited elf EVER. Well, not conceited, but I hate him so badly, but I won't go so badly as to cuss. Trying to pry inside the Lady's mind which is open is her grief? He has got to be the most DARING elf in Lothlorien, more or less, I'll give him credit for that. Luckily, Galadriel finally realizes and casts him away from her, causing him to smash into a mallorn tree--all for the better, as long as he has pain, of course. He would grow stronger and more skilled, but never more would he cross paths with Galadriel. Never. At least he realizes that, but way toooooooooo late. Any sensible, not greedy person would have realized that a long time ago. SO, now I'm going to call Vardnauth stupid because he really is, no matter how ingenius he thinks his plans are. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Poor Tindu! I mean, it's bad enough already that Vardnauth kills someone and attempts to pry the mind of another (well he already has), but emotionally wounding Tindu would probably portray the worst for her. With the fact of her pupil being an antagonist, which she can't accept until she's been given time, this whole fiasco happens and she's forced to accept it whether she likes it or not. Then, he mocks her about asking the wrong questions. Yeah, well, it's not like he's any better off with his stupidity and his answers. And I've noticed that he's really stuck up by boasting about him asking the right questions. These questions are the right ones--but only to him. By the way, what does Tinduválorien mean, and is it Quenya or Sindarin? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I understand of the grief and anger that Celeborn feels, and his hate against Vardnauth. The grief is for the condition of his daughter and of Tirin's death, and the anger and hate would be because of what the elf had done to his wife. When one is in times of grief (such as right now), council is really needed, and Celeborn cannot find one to confide in, but eventually he does, to Haldir--or, rather, vice versa. But the Lord of the Golden Wood reveals some of his feelings. As Haldir said, only time can help them now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 25 Here Tindu's story ends, but the fact that Vardnauth escaped rather than perished is probably why Arien is in the state that she is in right now, and others who have had the misfortune to meet Vardnauth at Gondor... So, you did kill Haldir, did you? But you followed Peter Jackson's account of Haldir, not the books' account! Please, take that back! Make him live whilst other authors have killed him! PLEASE! *drops to her knees and begs, with tears filling her eyes* I want Haldir whole and alive in this story. And, according to Tolkien's reckoning about the grief of the elves, they will die of grief several years after their partner has passed away. SO that means that I will die, and you'll have one less reader and reviewer! x( Good thing that Aragorn decides to offer Tindu's atlases a home in Gondor. Otherwise, all her hard work would have been for nothing, seeing as it wouldn't be needed in Valinor. Tinduválorien--I still don't know what this means. If you would be kind enough, please translate. The jest with Legolas and Gimli--haha, a pity he doesn't learn Elvish, and consider himself lucky that Aragorn was willing to translate for him. Melin waani nin! Haaaaaha, my dear goose, that is just plain hilarious. If I may repeat, is this Quenya or Sindarin? Lovely chapter. Now, on with my final review of the currently last chapter. *Sigh* I'm getting weary now. CHAPTER 26 YOU SMASHED YOUR CAR?! OMG, ARE YOU OKAY??? Anyways, what state do you live in, and what state did you smash you car in? Sorry, this is going to be a short review, nothing like the nice long one I gave in chapter 24. Scary that Erynbenn's troops (and himself, of course) fell into the Southrons' trap. What have they got against Gondor anyways? And I wonder what their plan is...backups for Gondor seriously needed... x( Here ends my review, and I'm still the first reviewer! -Lady Saruman I now send 6 tons of Ferrero Rocher chocolate from France, and some Hersheys too, of course. But no, I'm not in France. Have you tried Ferrero Rocher? It's really good--irresistable. =) See ya next time! (When you come back, of course.) -Lady Saruman Author Reply: We did in fact notice your absence! *smiles* But we know how busy you are, and we thought you would probably rejoin us when your schedule permitted. I'm glad to see that time is now! *whistles* That is devotion indeed! I can't even imagine how much paper that would take -- we are flattered beyond words! Thank you so much for all your praise on our flash-back! We had little time in which to establish quite a few characters, and we were anxious that you should enjoy it. Tirin is indeed a marvelous big brother, and besides loving his sister dearly, he is very observant. Tindu is very learned, in her own way, but unfortunately she's not very good with people; she tends to assume the best, contrary to evidence, which isn't very wise (as this story proves). Glad you hear we did your 'husband' and his brothers justice! We enjoyed writing them -- all the more because, though they are canon, Tolkien didn't flesh them out much. It gave us lots of room to play! *grins* *laughs* I'm sure Haldir would be pleased at your sticking up for him! In this case we use the word 'snorts' to refer to that sort of half-laughing noise people make -- like a quick exhale through their nose: 'Hah.' Yes, this story is full of unhappy chances. It's funny how sometimes things just seem to conspire together to turn out right, and other times they just seemed determined to turn out wrong. This is one of the latter times. You've described Vardnauth's character very handily: Bold, but stupid. It's a combination that will get him into even more trouble one day... For this particular time, though, it got him some pretty nasty powers -- scorched throat and bruised body aside. *dodges under cover* Believe us when we say: we really did not expect so many people to love Tirin so much! Like I said before, we knew we didn't have much time to introduce a lot of these characters, so we assumed nobody would have much chance to grow very attached to him. For our miscalculation, we apologize! 'Stuck-up'; another good descriptor for Vardnauth. And 'Tinduvalorien' means 'Tindu of Lorien', and it's Sindarin. Actually, all of our elvish is Sindarin because that's the only dictionary we have. It used to be an online dictionary, but the online version shut down not long after we copied it off onto our computers, so I'm afraid we can't link you to it. If you'd like to give me your e-mail address I'd be willing to send you a copy of it! *raises hands helplessly* So much of our history is movie-verse, thus Haldir's fate followed suit! But feel free to take Tolkien's version -- we shan't dispute it has the greater claim to reality! *smiles* And please don't die! I'm glad you liked our solution for Tindu's books! *hugs* Thank you so much! Laughter is the best compliment (right up there with crying)! Short reviews are perfectly okay! Yes, Erynbenn's in trouble. I'm not at all sure why the Southrons seem to loathe the Gondorians, but it may have to do with them wanting land. That, and revenge, is Mavranor's reason, in any case. *looks sheepish* Yes, I smashed my poor car, but it's fixed now and looks good as new! I smashed it in Georgia, but Hannah and I live in North Carolina. We have tried Ferrero Rocher! And yes, they are delicious! *grins* You must like us indeed! Thank you for the lengthy review, all the time you spent on it, and for being such a great reader! We really do appreciate it. *smiles* | |