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| The Dark of Night by Ellie | 6 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 8/31/2008 |
| Of course Earendil's grandsons would do this! What else, or who else would have dared? | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/23/2006 |
| Haldir's father is rather - closed! It would seem that being ages old doesn't help elves outgrow their prejudices!! Once the Lothlorien elves have seen the danger I think they'll be rather less scoffing about the Imladris elves' twitchiness. And I fear that a certain pair of half-elven twins with a certain amount of Noldor blood are just about to put themselves in serious danger. Their grandmother won't be pleased with them! Author Reply: I figure if Haldir and co can hold on to their prejudice against the dwarves for so long, why can't his father hold on to his feelings about the Noldor? The Lorien elves will indeed understnad things soon and begin to sympathize if not empathize with thier buddies from Imladris. I wonder which would be worse: incurring the wrath of Elrond or the wrath of Celeborn and Galadriel? Poor twins... Thanks for reading and reviewing! | |
| LOTR lover | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/23/2006 |
| There are some problems with this chapter that I think need addressed. First, when Haldir and Galadin and their troops reach Imladris, it's just after sundown. Angaril meets them in front of the main house and invites them inside, saying they would talk later. The next thing we know, the elves are meeting by the light of the setting sun. Have they waited a whole night and day before holding a meeting about this urgent issue? Wouldn't there be more than just a cursory mention of the starlight water's effects on the wounded elves? Second, I can't believe that Elladan and Elrohir don't know the story about how Earendil killed Ungoliant when their own father, the son of the one who killed her, is the greatest lore master in Arda. I also don't believe they were never taught the story of Beren and the spiders in the Mountains of Terror. Third, as nervous as the elves are about going out to hunt down Ungoliant's chldren, and since they *are* elves and are led by competent warriors, I can't believe that no one would notice Elladan and Elrohir surreptitiously joining them. A better scenario would be to have them talk their father or Galadin into allowing them to be part of the troop, or to sneak off by themselves and join the troop closer to their destination. So far, this story has been quite good; this is the weakest chapter. I think a bit of rewriting and reposting would make it work better and bring it up to the quality of the story as a whole. I continue to enjoy the story and I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. LOTR lover Author Reply: On your first point, I think Haldir and Galadin would have met with Elrond separately and discussed matters perhaps with a few other advisors as well immediately after their arrival. I think they very well might have waited for the Hal and Gal to rest before meeting in council and also waited to see some results of the Sil water treatment. That's the reason for the delay. As for the second point, I can agree with you on that. On the third point, the deception worked well enough for Nienor in Doriath, so I thought why not try it here? I agree that this is probably the weakest chapter. Thanks for your suggestions on how to improve it. I appreciate you continuing to read and review! Ellie | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/22/2006 |
| Oh, good they 've gotten back safe and sound! After a nerve-racking trek! :) So, the twins have plans, ay? :D And you have certainly put Elrohir on to something pertainant! Melkor wounded the Trees first... then Ungoliant did her sucky thing... In regards to Fingolfin's battle with Melkor - Spells, especially the rhyming or song variety, are usually an evocation and not an invocation. The way Tolkien uses them, song-spells are all about the power of words/images/emotions. (imho, It was his guilt over the Kinslaying that weakened Finrod's attack against Sauron.) They are the weapons technology favored by bards and sorcerers for obvious reasons. "... the rocks rang with the shrill music of Fingolfin's horn, and his voice came keen and clear down into the depths of Angband; and Fingolfin named Melkor craven, and lord of slaves." Fingolfin's words are carried to Melkor and the images evoked draws him out where mere insults normally would not. Melkor was the only Valor who could supposedly feel real fear. This fear made him habitually hide from his enemies, as would any of his dark creatures, especially from the sound of Orome's horn. Yet, this time, he is drawn forth to face a challenge - out of fear. Fingolfin is described as being Orome-like so that the reader will understand that Fingolfin's power is similar and that he can strike fear into Melkor. Except, Melkor does not hide from him. Not equal after all? Then why does the insult work? Interesting use of evocative, emotional imagery therein, if you ask me. However, the actual fight is majestic(conventional weaponry being more 'heroic'), between kingly foes (craven or not!) without the use of sly or sorcerous means. But really, why should Melkor care what others think of him? Would his minions really desert him if he blew off the challenge? ...rambling now so I'll stop. Author Reply: Yep, the twins have a plan. And we'll see if it was a smart one or not... Thanks for the info on your take on Fingolfin's song of power. I hadn't really considered it in the way in which you describe it. Very interesting indeed. Thanks for reading and reviewing! | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/22/2006 |
| Eek! I don't like the sound of that final paragraph! What have you got planned for the twins? Much worry and torture and angst, I suppose? Author Reply: You are too funny! Something is definitely planned for the twins and they most likely will not be terribly pleased. **grins wickedly** I must say, I'm always thrilled when an author who I greatly admire reads my stuff and reviews it! :-) You made my day! Thanks for reading and reviewing! | |
| vampfan30 | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/21/2006 |
| you were right about me needing to worry about the twins... sheesh, you can weave a wicked story...... * twitch * Author Reply: Yes, the twins have gotten themselves into something, that's for sure. And...you are going to need to worry about them for a while, I think. Thanks for reading and reviewing! | |