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| Day and Night by Peredhil lover | 6 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/9/2007 |
| What a test for the skills of future king and twin, as the descendants of Earendil work together over Elladan. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/4/2007 |
| I love the contrast between Elladan and Glorfindel - and the totally adult and powerful twins, who nonetheless are, particularly in Elrohir's case, able to nurture a youth on the verge of manhood. While the candle-decorated pastry - is a great almost-joke of a celebration that still acknowledges an important milestone in Estel's progress to becoming Aragorn. Being under an avalanche of rock, though, sounds a bit of an extreme way for Elladan and Estel to do a bit of male bonding! I hope neither of them is too badly hurt! Good fight, though - and I could see Estel learning and growing as he confronted the trolls! Good story. Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing, Bodkin. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far. The little birthday celebration is a favourite scene of mine--while it was too good an opportunity to tease Estel for the elves to pass up, it does, I hope, show how much they do care about him as well as marking that important milestone in Estel's growth. I'm glad that you enjoyed the battle scene in this chapter. You are quite right, it is an extreme way to get a bit of male bonding, but it might be just what is required to get stubborn ol' Elladan thinking a little differently. As for how badly hurt Elladan and Estel are, the next chapter should be up soon. Thanks for the kind words. peredhil lover | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/4/2007 |
| Very exciting, and believable, battle with the trolls! But did you have to end the chapter with a cliffhanger? Author Reply: Thanks, Raksha, I'm glad that you found the battle exciting and believable. As a relatively new writer, I wanted to try my hand at a cliffhanger. It does seem to motivate people to leave more reviews, so I can see the appeal from a writers point of view. ;-) peredhil lover | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/3/2007 |
| The situation here is tense and dangerous, and I enjoyed seeing Estel, having learned the theory of troll-fighting, now having to translate that into actual practice. It is indeed true that the two are distinct, especially for something like sword fighting. I also enjoyed the little glimpses inside the troll's mind (such as it is), as it hunts the squeaky little things with the pointy sticks. I did feel that the writing was slower and perhaps clunkier than it could have been, especially describing a scene that seems to play out in only a few minutes. I didn't get much of a sense of what the Elves were actually doing to the troll, nor a sense of scale between them and the troll. Battle writing is difficult, but I think that more of a focus on showing rather than telling, perhaps by describing the effects of actions rather than the reasons for them, might help smooth this out. Author Reply: Thanks for taking the time to review, I always like to get feedback. This is the first battle scene that I have ever written, and I freely admit that I find much greater pleasure in exploring characters and relationships than writing action scenes. However, I've had a lot a reviews and you are the first one to describe the writing in this chapter as "slower." Many have said they found the battle to be quite fast paced and felt themselves drawn into the action. No one is right, of course. Everyone simply has their own opinion. I find it most fascinating, and I think I will love to explore it in my writing--how vastly different each person's perspectives can be to the same information. Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you stick with the story and enjoy the next chapter more. peredhil lover | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/2/2007 |
| Good battle scene between overwhelming brawn and clever agility. Battle scenes can be hard to write but I think this one was nicely done. You kept us focused on Estel mostly and that made it all personal. Author Reply: Having never written a battle scene, or really any action scenes, before, I wasn't looking forward to it, and I'm glad to hear that you think it turned out well. Thanks for reading and reviewing. peredhil lover | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/2/2007 |
| The battle scene was well orchestrated, and I liked seeing Estel's thoughts as he realized he could evade the creature, as well as when he realized he and Elladan could work together. The shifting POV tend to work well in this situation, I think, as it keeps the chapter fast paced and gives a better picture of events. And that was a great deed, indeed! Estel brought down the troll - poetic justice, since they killed his grandfather. Glad to see Elladan proud of him, even if he has saved him twice. We all need someone to watch our backs. Somehow I think Elladan is the one who will need the help now. Author Reply: Having written only a couple of short fics before this one, both of which focused almost completely on relationships, I was not relishing the thought of trying to write a battle scene. I'm so pleased to hear that you think it turned out well. I think you may be right about Elladan needing help, and just maybe Estel will get a chance to save him for once. ;) I really appreciate and enjoy your reviews. peredhil lover | |