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| Night On A Bare Mountain by Jay of Lasgalen | 16 Review(s) |
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| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/3/2007 |
| Incredible start - tension is great. Both El's are great. One little question - you have El going to Thranduil on Elrond's behest. So you believe that the two kingdoms were in communication with each other? That there was, perhaps, friendship there? Just wondering. Going to chapter two now! Author Reply: I'm sure there would have been communication between the Elven realms - messages and news passing between them. In other stories, I have the twins and Legolas being friends in their youth, though as times grow darker there is less time for frivolities like that. I don't see them being enemies - or why would Legolas have reported Gollum's escape to Elrond? Jay | |
| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/30/2007 |
| Very, nice... Elrohir is injured and alone, I hpe elladan can find him, he's not in a very good spot. And I wonder just if, they can read minds... Please continue. Author Reply: Despite the angst, I usually have a happy ending. Yes, Elladan will find him - and there's a new chapter up today! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| I felt really bad about the horse - I do for Elrohir too, but having to curl up next to an animal you loved had to be just awful. To know the horse died had to be awful! But Elladan will come soon, thank goodness, though I imagine Elrohir will not be travelling alone for a while. Author Reply: I was really sorry about Mornaur, but he had to go :( I wanted to concentrate on Elrohir's isolation and hopelessness, so he had to be alone. It was good that he could recall the survival training though - Glorfindel is helping him even now. | |
| Selene Aduial | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| A great way to start of a story. I always love your twins. You had me concentrating along with Elrohir trying to reach his brother. It's a good thing Glorfindel gave them survival training, and that Elrohir was able to recall all he did. He's quite stong being able to do what he did, having a broken leg and all. It was a good thing for Elladan to have Glorfindel there or he would have panicked felling what he felt. Now they will be preparde for whatever happens. And of course Glorfindel would not let Elladan ride out alone. I hope you have the next chapter finished already because I for one can't wait for the next one ;) Author Reply: Even though Elrohir knows he may well not make it this time, he's not going to give up. He'll do everything he can, and he can still hope that Elladan will somehow find him. It was good for Elladan that Glorfindel believed him immediately, and is going with him. The next chapter is mostly written, so shouldn't be too long. | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| What an incredible job you did in describing the weather! With all the rain and high winds we’ve been having here lately it was all rather uncomfortably familiar :-) But you really pull the reader right into the story - to Elrohir’s disappointment and annoyance at a trip that didn’t go as he hoped as well as his struggle against the relentless weather and his desire to get home. I particularly like the way your first sentence sets the scene and lets us know that this has been going on for a while and we’re joining him on his journey just as it all gets worse. I had tears in my eyes as Elrohir’s thoughts after he fell went first to Elladan. And I really felt for him as he sat there all alone, trying to remember what he was taught and doing his best to get himself out of the situation. His sorrow for the loss of the horse was almost unbearable. This line was beautiful: “Goodbye, my friend,” he whispered sadly, remembering the wobbly-legged foal he had delivered himself, the eager young colt he had trained and schooled, and the warm, comforting breath that had accompanied him along the treacherous path. What loneliness Elrohir must have felt at that moment. His strength comes through too, though, as he determinedly tries to get through this and focuses on the practicalities as much as he can in his desperately injured state. I was glad Elladan had Glorfindel there – someone to reassure him and calm him, and more importantly to believe him and support him. Thank heavens they’ve decided to go! This is off to a great start. I’m really looking forward to more, especially to seeing you explore the bond between the twins :-) Author Reply: I'd written the description of the weather before the recent gales, but they did seem appropriate! I was grateful for a nice coal fire at home as I wrote this. I've always written Elrohir as being particularly fond of horses, so Mornaur's death would hit him hard. He's got to cope with grief and loneliness as well as his injuries - and he knows there's a very real chance he won't get out of this at all. The only comfort he has is that he knows Elladan knows something is wrong. Yes, thank goodness for Glorfindel, and his instant acceptance that Elladan knows! Thanks for the review - I particularly like it when people pick out what parts really worked for them. | |
| BlueEyedElf | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| Yikes! Sounds like Elrohir is really in a fix this time. I liked the way that he tried to calm himself by replaying Glorfindel's lessons in his mind. Also, Elrohir's injuries don't sound good. The more blood he loses, the more the cold will affect him. I hope that his back injury isn't too serious because he can still feel the pain from his leg. If he couldn't feel his legs, there would definitely be a problem. It's good that Elladan immediately knew that something was wrong. Maybe Elrohir can use the emotions he is feeling to give Elladan a more specific picture. "I'm not panicking - I'm worried!" That was just classic. LOL. I guess Arwen and Erestor will be left in charge of Imladris for the time being. Poor them. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. This promises to be fun. Author Reply: Yes, poor Elrohir is in dire need here. He's not going to give in though, and he's too determined to lay down and die. It's some comfort to him as well that Elladan at least knows something is wrong. And Elladan insists he wasn't panicking! I'm not sure that 'fun' is the best description for Elrohir's situation :>) | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| Get out there toute de suite, Elladan! Go, Glorfindel - your 'elfling' needs help NOW!! I suppose - in a way - Elrohir is lucky that he and Elladan share any kind of awareness of each other. Otherwise he would be sitting on that frozen mountainside with his unfortunate dead horse and nobody would have any idea he was in trouble. His journey at the beginning - was so uncomfortable it made me want to huddle up in a nice warm quilt just to remind myself I wasn't cold and wet and leading a horse along a slippery path with a drop I'd rather not think about to one side. Very powerful! I hope you've got chapter 2 well on the way - you can't leave Elrohir there for too long. Even a half-elf can die of exposure, you know! Author Reply: Elladan is going to have to move faster than he ever has before - this won't be a nice, slow, leisurely journey. At least he knows he's needed, and he's fortunate that Glorfindel understands and is going with him as well. I'm glad that the description of the weather and Elrohir's journey worked so well. I must admit it made me shiver as I wrote! The next part is mostly done (as is the whole story), but you'll have to wait a little longer! | |
| paranoidangel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/14/2007 |
| You do like to torture the poor twins. But since I still enjoy reading it, I really shouldn't complain :) Author Reply: I suppose they deserve a break sometimes. I need to write a nice, fluffy story in compensation! | |
| Peredhil lover | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/13/2007 |
| A great beginning! Of course, I always love a well-written twin story. And if it has Glorfindel too, all the better. There is so much wonderful potential for Elladan and Elrohir angst here. It's only the first chapter and already you have Elrohir in a desperate position. I love the strength of character he shows against almost over-whelming odds, and I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter. peredhil lover Author Reply: You like the twins as well? I'd never have guessed! (I think I owe you a review, too. Loved the end of Day And Night.) Elrohir is realistic enough to know that there's not much chance of him getting out of this, but far too determined to just give up. I like to show both twins as strong characters - they're capable adults here, not the trick-playing idiots I've sometimes read about! | |
| Kitty | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/13/2007 |
| Ah, ever since your question about the speed of horses on LJ I had wondered what you have in mind. Now I know :-) Poor Elrohir, and poor Mornaur! That was a nasty fall, and I doubt Elrohir is truly able to even get a bit away from there on foot with a broken leg. Even elves don't heal *that* fast, and he is in no state to heal himself. But even if he is not able to mindspeak with his twin, the connection between them is very strong if it even woke Elladan in the middle of the night. I am so glad he decided to leave Imladris in search of his brother even if it could be that Elrohir was still in Lasgalen and in the experienced hands of Calmacil. Can't wait for more! Author Reply: Yes, that question was research for this story! Now you see why Elladan needs to move quickly ... :) Poor Mornaur - I felt bad killing him, but Elrohir's complete isolation and helplessness is part of this story. It wouldn't have worked if Mornaur had been with him :( I've always written the twins as knowing each other's feelings and emotions, so Elladan would know something was wrong - but nothing more. You'll have to wait to find out more! | |