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Go Out in Joy by Larner	10 Review(s)
Antane	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/20/2007
Oh, this is beginning to hurt - heart breaking indeed. But there are also memories being made that will be treasured with joy once the worst of the pain of loss is over - Elanor and Frodo snuggled together in sleep, seeing Frodo's Light so bright with the butterflies, the mental exchange between Frodo and his beloved Sam. Love that Sam said "It's all right, my dear." It's most definitely not all right but at the same time since he said it was, it was. This won't be easy for anyone but I think they are going to feel better being there. It's not going to be easy for me either. The queen did say I would have my heart torn out by this. Hurry up, Aragorn!! Namarie, God bless, Antane :) Author Reply: Watching one you love die is difficult, but I fully believe, that respecting his decision thought would be taken to see to it there is beauty and pleasure to be shared at the last, peace and acceptance, and the comfort of Frodo realizing he'd rather NOT actually have Sam away from him at the moment. And the others need to see the shining of the two brothers of the heart together as they come to full acceptance of the looming parting--a parting perhaps far less onerous than one might think.

Linda Hoyland	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/12/2007
Nice to see how caring the Hobbit neighbours can be. I liked the scene with the butterflies. Author Reply: As I've seen Frodo, he's been one who cares for his community all his life, and now the community realizes he needs it himself and begin to repay him. And since he won't see the butterfly glade on Tol Eressea in this vision, I try to find a way for him to know them right there in the Shire. So glad you love it, too.

Bodkin	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/12/2007
It's good, in many ways, for this farewell to happen. Reassuring for Frodo, really - a confirmation that he is appreciated. Comforting for his friends and family, who would always regret an unheralded departure. But it's exhausting for both sides - and especially for Frodo, who could do with some peace and the uncomplicated company of Elanor. And the understanding presence of Sam. Author Reply: For my husband too much physical involvement there toward the end was so stressful as his energy level waned and the TIAs increased. You are certainly right about the exhaustion all tend to feel. This is more traumatic for all to endure, but at the same time it is more reassuring as all are more aware of what it is that happened. But I'm certain Frodo would have preferred just that--Sam, Rosie, Elanor, and not so much need to try to reassure everyone else.

Althea	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/11/2007
These last few chapters have truly been heartbreaking. It's very hard watching one we love die. Frodo's peaceful acceptance gives strength to them all. I love how Frodo and Sam can now communicate without words. Author Reply: Well, I'd written in many of my other stories that Frodo had begun to be able to communicate in this manner at least with the Elves as they traveled to the Havens, and in time became proficient in it and relied on it once he'd become fairly well advanced in the transformation process he realized in Elvenhome wasn't destructive but fulfilling to his nature. That he and Sam at least could share this awareness seemed likely. His acceptance helps the others now, and they will now better support him through the end of it. Thank you so for the comments, Althea.

Andrea	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/11/2007
The title you chose is perfect! Frodo's heart is literally breaking, and for the others it's heart-breaking to see him die. I can understand Daisy's reaction, though. She was upset, angry and sad at the same time. No wonder she could not control her feelings! However, it was typical for Frodo to not blame her for the seizure of his heart. He would never do that. I've waited for Fosco and his sister to appear and I'm glad their parents let them go at last, even if they were nearly forced to do so. There isn't much time left, I fear... P.S.: Yes, now I know what little Elanor perceived :) P.P.S.: I read your reply to Queen Galadriel. I experienced something similar, but it was nothing compared to what you went through! As a Christian I believe that your husband and my grandmother are waiting for us in a place where suffering is simply impossible! Author Reply: Thanks so much for the comments, and I'm glad you appreciate the double meaning attached to it. No, Elanor hadn't noted anything dire--just probably heard the coughing and the opening of the front door; but coming into the parlor and not finding Frodo there must have been a bit upsetting for the rest, and hearing the cough correspondingly reassuring. And am glad you appreciate that Fosco and Forsythia are on their way. As a Christian who believes in the Communion of the Saints, I, too, believe my husband, parents, and many others I have loved are waiting in gladness for the day I'll rejoin them. Thank you.

Queen Galadriel	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/10/2007
Oh. Heartbreaking, yes. And real, in a way I can't describe. In a way that has left me almost speechless (for once) and crying so hard it's difficult to type at the moment. Two days. Or maybe a little longer...? “It’s likely that--that when it comes, it will strike quickly. I doubt when that happens I’ll be able to do much for myself from that point on. I may or may not be able to talk. I--I don’t know what precisely to expect. I’ll undoubtedly fight it for as long as I can, until--until I can’t any more. Then I’ll--let go. I hope the worst of the--the painful part will be over by then.” Oh...silly of me not to realise that was coming but I didn't. Life isn't always peace and beauty, obviously, but as hard as it is to know the time is so close, to know Frodo must go through that... This was moving, at the same time it just wrenched my heart: Sam knelt by the bed while Paladin went out to convey the healer’s words to the rest of the company. “You feelin’ any better, Master?” he asked. “Yes,” Frodo whispered. “Don’t be afraid for me, Sam.” “I suppose as it’s easier for you to say than for me to do, Frodo.” Frodo smiled and his eyes closed. “Dying----” The thought filled Sam’s mind, Dying isn’t an easy business, apparently. After a moment of quiet, Sam asked, “Is it hard for you to talk, Mr. Frodo? A weak nod. I wish I could explain it to you. “Explain it to me?” Sam repeated aloud. Frodo’s eyes opened with surprise. “You--you know what--what I’m thinking?” “You thought that, Master?” Another nod. “What----How?” Like the Lady--in Lothlorien, or when they were speaking mind to mind, there in Hollin...? Frodo took a breath and winced. “I’ll leave and let the others come.” “No.” Please stay by me Sam. “Stay by you, Master?” Sam asked. “Please.” Oh, such a tender moment. And I have to smile at this realisation, a true gift that will help, should Frodo lose his speech. Again, the sadness is made bearable by the very real warmth shown by others--the sending and bringing of food. And the butterflies! I love it here, too. Beautiful, and I'm so very glad Frodo and Sam and the others could share that moment of awe before more trouble came. Oh, poor Daisy. I agree her approach wasn't exactly wise, and I wish she hadn't been angry, but I can understand why she was...and how shocking that whole thing would have been, for all of them. I'm so glad Bard and the others came and that the twins are on their way. But Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas must hurry! Oh, please let them make it in time! It would be unbearable if they came just a moment or a day too late. I'm sure now that I am going to cry every chapter. But I'm learning so much (not just through this but your other stories as well) of a practical nature. Due to an original work I've had to learn something of--well--what happens when the heart begins to fail, and all I know I know from you. (Tried internet research, but everything is so...modern! And usually, in order for me to really learn about something like this, I can't just read facts; I have to read or hear something that makes me realise them.)) I don't have to be in-depth, but I would like to know what I can so as not to be (or seem) ignorant, and this story--this chapter especially--is eye-opening. Sorry, don't mean to ramble, just wanted to say thank you. Okay, maybe not quite speechless. God bless, Galadriel Author Reply: My husband joked that he was dying of everything. A grim joke, but it certainly appeared to be true. He'd had uncontrollable high blood pressure for years, and they couldn't seem to get it under control, for his kidneys seemed too efficient at filtering out the medications that might help. Then we learned he suffered from sleep apnea, in which the fold of the soft palate at the back of the throat will fall down and block the trachea while the person is asleep, leading to heavy snoring and the person being jerked awake throughout the night by the need to move slightly to allow the body to breathe. Then he developed type two diabetes. He'd quit smoking years earlier, but thirty-five years of smoking on top of the blood pressure problems and now the diabetes took their toll of his blood vessels, and he had a heart attack and needed a triple bypass. A few months later he had his first trans-ischemic attack, or T.I.A., or mini-stroke. It affected the part of his brain that controls the right hand, and it went numb. It left scar tissue, and afterwards his thumb tingled. Then he developed a serious infection that settled in the kidneys, leading to serious loss of kidney function, and he had to start dialysis. He chose to undergo peritoneal rather than hemodyalisis, and he and I both had to be trained to perform the exchanges necessary to see this done, and so we would know what to do to deal with peritonitis should it strike, one of the potentialities with this form of dialysis. Then he began coughing, a particularly troubling cough that would come and go, and we learned he now was suffering from congestive heart failure--the body retains fluids due to poor circulation to the point the individual is now literally drowning in his own fluids. More diuretics to help relieve the body of the excess fluids. More T.I.A.s, with one occuring in the part of the brainstem where information from the soles of the feet and ankles are fed through to the brain to tell the body it is standing upright. That one happened while he was asleep--he awoke to find his sense of balance was almost gone, and he fell over trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. They checked thoroughly to make certain this wasn't due to inner ear problems, for if the eustachian tubes are impaired that, too, affects balance. He knew which side was up--he just couldn't stand properly, and finally scans found the new scar tissue there in the brainstem. Having been blinded by an accident when he was nineteen, he couldn't use his vision to help overcome the lack of information from his ankles and feet to help him stay upright, and he ended up being given a walker to use. Then another T.I.A. in the same region, this time affecting the autonomic center controlling breathing. It wasn't bad enough to put him on a respirator, but sufficiently bad it affected his breathing. On top of the apnea he had to be put on oxygen for months. The T.I.A.s continued. The congestive heart failure got worse. He had another heart attack while we were on a flight to Hawaii, and we spent half of our vacation in Trippler Army Hospital on Oahu while they did an angioplasty and tried to figure out where his blood was going to--a slight fissure in a blood vessel surrounding the colon turned out to be to blame. Then a second kidney infection destroyed what little natural kidney function he'd still had. He went through a couple bouts of peritonitis, the first time when he developed an inner fissure from the bowel into the peritoneum, or space in which the intestines and lower organs are contained. The last one was due to poor closure of valves when he finished an exchange for the dialysis. He woke one morning before I did, shortly after he'd had another T.I.A. that had left him confused. He disconnected himself and did it improperly, and apparently that allowed bacteria into the peritoneum. The next morning he had the severe pain, and we took him to the hospital, and I directed them how to do the treatments that are used with peritoneal dyalisis patients. I stayed in the hospital that night with him and conducted the exchanges. He was much better the following morning, but was having difficulties breathing. Suddenly he went into respiratory arrest, and finally let go. We spent much of those last two years with the internet medical advice sites before us and a physicians desk reference (a reference book on medications) in one hand, constantly trying to figure out which symptoms were due to his complicated medical condition and which were due to improper combinations or dosages of various medicines. For one who has loathed the idea of being a nurse all my life, I've had to learn far too much just dealing with life, I've found. Dying would be fairly easy if it weren't for the process of doing so, which all too often is extraordinarily uncomfortable and all too often prolonged. Tony wasn't afraid of being dead, but he certainly didn't appreciate the gradual, incessant loss of physical control and dignity that went with it. Unfortunately, what I've seen Frodo experiencing was just such a slow, long-term deterioration of health. It's not an easy process, and the individual is often extraordinarily frustrated--for weeks everything will seem to be going well, and then one little thing goes wrong, and they're back where they were a month or so again, or worse off then before. For such a private individual as I've seen Frodo as being considering his own personal miseries, this must have been extraordinarily frustrating; and HAD he stayed in Middle Earth instead of sailing to Elvenhome this is all to likely what all would have come to. But here his native dignity would have dictated he begin admitting the inevitable at last, and so all would get a crash course in death and dying. But he has one other special condition to deal with, for he was spider bit....

Dreamflower	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/10/2007
sniffle Oh, please hurry, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli! sigh I'll try to do another review later, when I'm more coherent. Author Reply: They are on their way, but they're still not close to Hobbiton.

elanor winterflowers	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/10/2007
My failure to review as you go along here is based solely on the fact that I have no words to express how incredibly FINE this is--anything I can think to say is already redundant. It is so enormously rich in background and so full of insight--I do want to say, though, that those butterflies were an absolute stroke of genius! What an image! Wonderfully, splendidly done! Author Reply: As I've written of Frodo among the butterflies of Tol Eressea before in Lesser Ring and Reunion, I felt that if he hadn't sailed he'd have needed such a moment to share with Sam. And those butterflies just came flying out of the garden.... Thank you for your comments, and I'm truly honored.

Kitty	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/10/2007
The advantage of this timeline is that the Travellers are forced to talk about their experiences more and earlier and with more people. Even if it is not easy for them, I have no doubt it will help the others to understand. And I truly enjoy how many people are coming to say farewell, though Frodo was always the one of the four who was the least esteemed. How very thoughtful of Paladin to send food, so Sam and Rosie don’t have to use up all their food. Glad to see Fosco and Forsythia were called to Bad End, too. And I have to admit of being a bit smug that Lilac and Emro weren’t able to prevent it. The end wasn’t so good sniff Poor Frodo. I fear Aragorn and the others have to hurry :-( Author Reply: It may be possible to hide failing health, particularly when most of those physically close to the one who is dying don't have a great deal of emotional ties to him. But it's much harder when the end actually comes close. And as I've written Paladin and the other older cousins realizing Frodo is indeed close to death, it was fairly easy to have them choose to follow through on the impulse to return to Bag End to see him through the rest. As Thain and the Took, Paladin ought to have been through dealing with funerals before; and it's very plain from Frodo's family trees he was related to a good number of the prominent families in the Shire. Even relatives who aren't close tend to congregate for funerals, and so Paladin has an idea there are likely to be many Frodo probably hadn't seen in years who would come to this funeral, and as much out of curiosity to see the other Travellers close up as for any other reason, and to learn more of what happened. And if Frodo was indeed hiding his condition, this would have been sufficient shock to suddenly have so much of the Shire realized old Mad Baggins's young ward and heir has unexpectedly died they'd have come just for the notoriety of it. And Fosco and Forsythia would need to be there, I think.

SurgicalSteel	Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 3/10/2007
Aptly chosen title - Frodo's heart is literally breaking, and the hearts of those he loves and who love him are doing so figuratively. Bittersweet yet again. Author Reply: Yes, bittersweet, but part of the process of living is accepting out own endings. I hope you find this medically accurate, and you might be interested in what I wrote to Queen Galadriel in this same series of reviews. And am so glad you find the title apt. Thank you.

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