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| Not Gonna Happens by Larner | 13 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Kaylee Arafinwiel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/21/2011 |
| Ahahaha! Cooking, yes, what Hobbits do best! I only recognized a few of the wizards here, sadly... Merlin, Ridcully, and of course Dumbledore (and Gandalf!) go without saying, but Red Cloud? And I think I missed one or two others, too... Kaylee *who isn't fond of chili, but still adored the story!* Heh, poor Sam at the end! lol! Author Reply: You can find out who the rest of the wizards are by reading the other comments. Red Cloud was an Indian medicine man, so I thought he'd do for the equivalent of a North American wizard; Ptolemy was Egyptian and is featured on the HP chocolate frog cards, the Sorceror from the Sorceror's Apprentice had to intrude, as did Katherine Kurtz's Deryni priest Camber of Culdi. And I had to have Ponder Stibbons join Ridcully! I can eat mild chili, but can't stand anything with much chili powder, chiles, peppers, or onions. Have a stomach that can't bear much in the way of strong spices or acidic foods. And Sam will definitely be challenged, don't you think? Heh! | |
| Tracey C | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 9/8/2007 |
| Had to comment on the "chili cookoff" chapter - where I was born (Texas) - *real* chili doesn't contain beans - usually just the meat (rough ground or diced), a corn meal flour called masa harina, salt, chili peppers ( could be chili powder to), and water (or beer!) - some chili purists consider it sacrilegious to add tomatoes or onions :) I loved the contest though - gave me a terrific laugh! Author Reply: Ah, yes, of course I had to make it sound as if beans, onions, and tomatoes were required in chili, but then up here in the Pacific Northwest if anyone were to do authentic chili without those ingredients they'd be looked at as if they were nuts, I fear. And I've used the recipes I've always heard used. Actually, I can't eat true chili, as I have the digestive system from Mordor as well as the ISP from the same source. I can't handle more than a very small amount of pepper of any sort, onions, or tomatoes, or I rue it for days. I even have difficulties with beans and, any more, corn as well. It's frustrating, particularly as so many people seem to think I CHOOSE to be this way. Am so glad that it at least gave you a laugh! It was fun to write. | |
| Queen Galadriel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/21/2007 |
| LOL! Oh, I love it, Larner! Of course Frodo won, I knew he would from the moment he decided to participate! But the picture of a bunch of wizards all cooking chili is *so* amusing! But who are all these? Dumbledor (sp?) I know of, and Merlin, and of course Gandalf, but the rest? The two messy ones should meet a friend of mine. Maybe their magic would be his salvation¡Xor undoing, but I really think he could find that without help. I decided to test his cooking skills after his recent return from Blind Incorporated in Minnesota, and I am now thoroughly convinced that no matter what he does, he will always be himself. We made strawberry pie (which *was* delicious in spite of my really goofing up the recipe and his not making the crust right), but the mess I had to clean up in the kitchen after he left was absolutely the biggest I have ever seen. (Not that I didn¡¦t contribute, cooking isn¡¦t always the neatest thing in the world, but I¡¦m not the one who makes bags of pretzels explode and I don¡¦t envy his future wife!) Poor Sam! LOL! I really would love to see his reaction¡Xand the end results. Of course, these wizards will find themselves blown away once more, and might even stuff themselves on chili if there¡¦s enough¡Xas I¡¦m sure there would be considering the size of Sam¡¦s family. :D This was great! I needed a good laugh. ƒº God bless, Galadriel Author Reply: Well, of course! Ridcully and his companion are from the Unseen University from Terry Pratchett's Diskworld series. I can't remember the name of the wizard in the series who's always coming up with magical instruments to do things that could be as easily done with a good wooden spoon or a decent chalk drawing of a pentagram, but I had to put some of his gadgets into this story. The one in white robes is Bishop Camber from Katherine Kurtz's Deryni books. "Camber of Culdi" is the first one in the series, if I remember correctly. The Egyptian is Ptolemy, who many considered to be a wizard. Red Cloud is actually a fairly generic American Indian medicine man, but I thought he made a good counter to many of the rest. I know about those who can't seem to open a bag of pretzels or chips without them going all over the place, and your friend just might enjoy the Unseen University as well--they do go in for the oddball and nerdish sort. I know I'd feel right at home there. Heh! Now, Sam has to find out if he can handle a cook-off with a group of wizards. Heh! After going through the Fellowship and raising thirteen children, I suspect he can handle a good deal. | |
| Baggins Babe | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/12/2007 |
| This was such fun, Larner. I'm thrilled but not surprised that Frodo won the contest. Of course he did, he's a hobbit! I'm willing to bet that Ridcully's version contained a good amount of W0w-Wow Sauce! Author Reply: Oh, I'm certain that Ridcully's contained Wow-Wow sauce, not to mention what he might have picked up from Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler, of course! And of course Frodo won. Now to see what Sam might do.... Glad to give a laugh or two. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/11/2007 |
| This is a riot, Larner! I just love that Frodo brought his own knives…the mark of a true cook! He’d be great on Iron Chef. And, like Andrea, I’d love to see Rincewind stumble into Middle-earth… Now, I could recognize some, but not all, of your wizards. Who had the elegant white robes and the shaved head? And the two with the trousers? Author Reply: Frodo on the Iron Chef would be great, of course. The Kid was a cook for a time, and I learned about personal knives from him. Ridcully and his fellow were from the Unseen University and wore trousers, and the elegant white robes was one of Katherine Kurtz's Deryni priests--perhaps Camber himself! | |
| SurgicalSteel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/10/2007 |
| *giggles* Too funny! Author Reply: So glad you did--this was fun to write. | |
| Andrea | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/10/2007 |
| That was funny, Larner! And now that I remembered where I know the name Ridcully from, I have a question: Why didn't he bring Rincewind with him? He would have created a mess, I'm sure ;-) I love Disc World stories! The wizards had no chance against a hobbit who knows the perfect secret ingredient: mushrooms! Thank you! Author Reply: I, too, love the Diskworld books, too. And Rincewind would have made a marvelous mess! As for a cooking contest--Hobbits would win hands down. | |
| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/10/2007 |
| *snork* That was precious! (and not in the gollum sense of the word) “No, but he does enjoy cooking.” That may become an oft-quoted phrase around here, where cooking wizards are high on the admiration list. (The little ones like to play at "Iron Chef" and "Rachel Ray" in their spare time. The biggest purchase, lately, was a hobbit-sized cookery set at the newly opened IKEA. Need I say more?) I have a recipe for kid-friendly chili that includes a large can of British-style baked beans, among other things. Loved the variety of visiting wizards. Did you have the wizard Merlin from the cartoon Sword in the Stone, by chance? (Loved his Bermuda shorts when he hitched up his robe. At least, I think I'm remembering that cartoon right.) Author Reply: So, the girls are into cooking, eh? I remember when we used to cook as kids--and cook, and cook, and cook. The cooking set sounds wonderful--we used to make real cakes and pies in our aluminum kids' baking set when I was a child. No, I more tried to model Merlin on how he appeared partly in a movie I saw years ago and my imagination. Sorry this one didn't get responded to before--Hughes continues to be a major pain in the behind. | |
| Kitty | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/10/2007 |
| *ROFL* Larner, that was priceless! All these wizards, arguing about cooking! *snicker* It reminded me so much of Asterix – the one where all the druids meet to a competition in brewing potions. Only this time it’s chili, not potions, and the winner was Frodo, not Miraculix. *Of course* Frodo had to win – how can any wizard think to be a better cook than a hobbit? Even Dumbledore, Merlin and Gandalf together couldn’t beat him. Not with mushrooms in it *grin* - being able to do magic isn’t enough! Now I’m imagining Frodo and Sam giving cooking lessons to wizards and elves alike for the rest of their life on Tol Eressëa! Thank you, this brightened a grey, rainy day considerably! Author Reply: Well, what else do famous wizards throughout the omniverse argue about, other than the best chili recipe? I can't think what sparked this one--it just sneaked up on me, I fear; but somehow it went along with pizza and surfboarding. Am so glad it gave so many a good laugh. Our weather has finally cleared after a week of grey, and I sort of needed a laugh as well. Yes, Asterix and the druids' potion-brewing competition--it's been a long time since I read that one. Heh! | |
| Antane | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/9/2007 |
| And they thought Frodo's chili was good! What a cute story - of course a hobbit would win - I love the idea of watching him cook. Namarie, God bless, Antane :) Author Reply: Well, of COURSE a Hobbit would win that contest! Who else? And glad it gave you a chuckle! | |