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| In Dark Places by Peredhil lover | 7 Review(s) |
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| Cairistiona | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 4/3/2008 |
| I absolutely love this. What an awful fix you have Aragorn in, and so eloquently told. I like the present-tense. It's not always my favorite choice, but in this case, it works because of the immediacy the story (or at least this prologue) demands. The whole thing resonates with such a contrast between hopelessness of the situation and absolute gut-wrenching bravery in resisting the "kindness" of the water. In a way, that symbolizes the ever-present dichotomy that wars within Aragorn: the despair that plagues him over his perceived weakness and the strength that he always seems to find despite that despair. In his rebellious lapse into Sindarin, we see that once again, Aragorn fights on despite the hopelessness of the situation--and we would expect no less of him. Excellent! I'll look forward to the rest of this when you eventually get back to writing on it. Author Reply: Thank you so much for your reviews Cairistiona! It’s great to receive such wonderful feedback, and I’m hoping that I will soon break this current bout of writer’s block and get motivated to start writing again. I don’t normally choose to write in the present-tense either, but as I have said to previous reviewers, this chapter seemed to dictate to me that this was how it was going to be written. I’m glad to know that you think it has worked effectively in this case. I’m pleased too that you liked my portrayal of Aragorn. I wished to show how desperate and hopeless his situation seems, and make him believably human, while at the same time showing the strength of character and will that we know Aragorn to possess. However, I do plan to take him to the very limits of his endurance in this fic, the poor fellow! ;) Thanks again, peredhil lover | |
| RS | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/3/2008 |
| Oh MY!!! This is eerie. The orc licking Aragorn's blood just made me cringe! EEW. The orc is totally menacing. Good job making me feel like I, myself, am bound in iron shackles like Aragorn (I just wanted to scream reading the description!)---HELPLESS! So maybe you can hurry up and finish "A Yearling Shoot" (I have been waiting patiently for updates--another captivating tale!) so you can continue this intriguing story. Author Reply: I’m glad to know that I have you feeling so involved with the story already, RS! I will be working on “A Yearling Shoot” next, but, unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of time to write, so you may need to be patient for a while yet, I’m afraid. However, receiving feedback and knowing that there are some who are reading and interested does help to keep me motivated. Thanks so much for reviewing. peredhil lover | |
| phyloxena | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/3/2008 |
| How does the ork understand elvish? Now that's intriguing. Very interesting. Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing, phyloxena. Glad to know that I've got you interested! | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/2/2008 |
| Of course I was drawn to this story instantly, and I was so relieved when I saw your name as the author on this over at ff.net. As much as those tantalizingly short passages you quoted are some of my favorites, and I could never resist an Aragorn-in-Moria story, the ubiquitous formulaic torture fic template has just about ruined my taste for darker Aragorn-centric fiction. Knowing you share a certain disdain for tired, overused tropes really piqued my interest at seeing how you would treat this scenario. First, I really like where you chose to begin the story. Compressing the story into the absolute present (and using present tense) really heightened the tension, and shoved us right down into Aragorn's already beleaguered mind without any tra-la-la-ing. The use of present tense removed the safety net of a backward-looking narrative viewpoint. For Aragorn, there is no future from which to narrate this story. I think you made great use of the immediate, tight POV to spare the reader a lot of gratuitous, extraneous detail that Aragorn wouldn't really in any condition to narrate with any semblance of coherence. There's no coherent chronology here because for Aragorn, time has constricted to the present moment of exhaustion, disorientation, and terror. I also liked how you narrowed the field of view to Aragorn and his captor and focused the story on a primal struggle for control. Aragorn is brave and defiant as you would expect him to be, but he's also human, and you show that so well. He drinks the water that's offered because he can't deny his thirst. He's still fighting for control - of himself, of the situation, but he's slipping. He's losing and he knows it. The moment when he can no longer remember why giving out his name is such a big deal was perfect. Casting the orc leader as a calculating and patient adversary was brilliant. Without that, the struggle would not have had the power it has. We love to see a fair fight, a struggle between equally-matched adversaries. The fact that the odds seem hopelessly stacked against Aragorn at the moment - well, beating impossible odds is what the game is all about, right? I really hope you continue this very soon. Author Reply: Wow, meckinock, thanks for the fabulous reviews, both here and at ff.net! Coming from you, the words are high praise indeed and I am most flattered and pleased that you enjoyed this chapter so much. Gee, you’ve noticed my slight disdain for certain overused plot devices have you? ;) Several times now, I have been inspired to try to take on some of these clichés and, hopefully, provide a bit of a fresh perspective. I’m so glad to know that you believe I have succeeded here. Though I don’t normally like to have two WIP on the go at the same time, for some reason, inspiration struck with this chapter, and I simply had to write it. Though it is a somewhat unusual style and not typically one I write in either, the present tense, first person POV seemed a natural fit here. It is not something I found I even had to think about, this chapter seemed to write itself this way, and I’m glad to know that you found it effective. Tightening the perspective down to just Aragorn and his captor also seemed a natural choice. While the leader is an orc, he is not a typical one, for I hope to make him considerably more interesting a character. I’m also pleaded that you like my portrayal of Aragorn. I wanted to do him justice, and show him for the strong and brave man that I know he is, while at the same time showing him as believably human in a desperate situation. I will most likely go back to writing “A Yearling Shoot” before I take this up, as this one will build on the previous story, at least in terms of Aragorn’s relationship with the twins. So, to warn you, it may be a while before I get back to this story, unless, of course, inspiration strikes again. Thank you again so very much, meckinock. Your review is most appreciated! peredhil lover | |
| Idril Celebrindal | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/2/2008 |
| Definitely caught my attention. :-) Indril Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing. I’m glad to know that I caught your attention. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/1/2008 |
| Unfortunately I can see this happening all too easily. And that the orc who holds him should prove so cunning is not a good sign, I fear. Now, to see where the tale leads, once you continue writing it. Author Reply: Thanks, Larner! Yes, the orc leader who holds him is considerably more devious and cunning than a typical orc. Poor Aragorn, it does not bode well for him, does it? | |
| Envinyatar | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 3/1/2008 |
| Captivating teaser, I definitely want to read more of this. Those hints you quote from Fellowship have always intrigued me too, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with here. It also makes me eager to read more of 'Yearling Shoot', to see how you get from there to here. This is very well-written, menacing and evocative. Looking forward to more. Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing, Envinyatar. I’m glad to know that you enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to more. I will be trying to finish “A Yearling Shoot” first before I return to this story (unless inspiration strikes again like it did for this first chapter). There is a fifty year jump from the end of “A Yearling Shoot” to the start of “In Dark Places” and, of course, a lot has happened to Aragorn that I will not cover (for some reason, Aragorn’s Thorongil years interest me the least). It is really the relationship between Aragorn and the twins that I wish to develop further. Thanks again, peredhil lover | |