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| More Dangerous and Less Wise by daw the minstrel | 22 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Red Squirrel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/5/2013 |
| "Thranduil deserved a chance to squash a Dwarf if he could get one." that line struck me as very funny! It would be sooooo difficult in some areas of his life, being the king's son. So funny what those two and then three did to the dwarves and even funnier when that Dwarf thought that it would not have been out of the ordinary that Oropher have direct involvement as well. Now I HAVE to read the last chapter!! I want to find out what happened next! Author Reply: Maltanaur and Beliond (not to mention Thranduil) all turned into such responsible adults. But they were still wood elves at heart, more dangerous and less wise, as Tolkien says. | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/25/2008 |
| "The river may have been icy, but really, Beliond is fortunate you led him to it. Oh yeah. And Beliond's memory is slipping, according to Maltanaur. I laughed out loud when I read that. I like how you went straight to that point and that one sentence clued us in to the important parts of Maltanaur's side of the story. On the other hand, Maltanaur was showing him a Beliond whom Legolas had rarely suspected of existing. Legolas shouldn't feel bad, Beliond probably doesn't know either. :>) Great line. Legolas is so serious and I'm trying to figure out if Maltanaur is deliberately messing with the story and Legolas with a sly smile or if he's telling the story from his perspective. Either way, it's still a funny switch-up of POV in the story. And boy, Thranduil sure is going to get an interesting surprise when Beliond and Maltanaur show up with Stubby. The buds have been busy while Thranduil was trying to stay out of trouble. :>) Another great line: Not that his brother had let Legolas take part, but word got around. As I recall, Legolas managed to get involved in a couple of Eilian's capers--even without being invited. Terrific chapter. Author Reply: I'm trying to figure out if Maltanaur is deliberately messing with the story and Legolas with a sly smile or if he's telling the story from his perspective Oh, good question! I intended it to be just his POV. After all, we're all the heroes of our own stories. But Maltanaur is watching Legolas and closely enough to know when he starts to fret about Eilian and Beliond, so I wouldn't put it past him to juice the story up some. He's used to coaxing Eilian along. He'd have no problem doing the same for Legolas. Glad you liked it, Karen. | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/24/2008 |
| "The river may have been icy, but really, Beliond is fortunate you led him to it. Hilarious! So who is telling the truth here? Sorry, but I tend to believe Maltanaur. What a fascinating glimpse of his father as a young, single warrior, intrigued and put a little off-balance by interest from a maiden who was not Legolas's mother. I was thinking the same thing, actually, as I was reading the last chapter. :-) Oh my gosh! Their plan was so evil! I thought it was bad enough when they cut the ropes with the dwarf's axe. Then when they grabbed him too! I couldn't imagine what they were going to do with him. That was even more evil. And the duel POVs in telling the story are really hilarious! Author Reply: Their plan was so evil! LOLOL. Hey, more dangerous and less wise, Elliska! It's very hard to imagine Thranduil young like this, I find. Beliond and Maltanaur are easier. | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/24/2008 |
| A present to Thranduil! This chapter is a hoot, daw, I bet you had so much fun writing these two wild ones charging across the dwarves' camp! MAltanaur sounds really young, half-thoughtful half- young, while it is easy to see how Beliond would have been such a walking earthquake in his youth. Despite his bitterness he still has that dry humour and it sounds fresh and truthful to the charaacter we know here, congratulations! And what can we say of this poor Thrnaduil, torn between behaving as heir or following his true nature... and his friends truly undesrtanding his plight... to their own advantage. I laughed out loud when Maltanaur found out that Beliond had no plan beyond catching the Dwarf!!! A delightful read, and now I'm jumping to see what happened to Stubby and Thrnaduil! A nice cliffhanger there, and no pun intended! It is so good to have you back! Author Reply: I did have fun writing that raid on the Dwarves' camp. Beliond and Maltanaur were so sure they could get away with anything, and then they did! I love the idea of Beliond as a "walking earthquake"! What a great expression. He just can't believe the universe would deny him the chance to get him own back. I think he and Maltanaur both seem younger than Thranduil, who's been sobered by what life has thrown at him already as well as by his role as heir. These two were probably good for him. Thank you, Perelleth. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/24/2008 |
| Oh, dear--first of all we have this adolescent feud going between three young Dwarves and an equal number of Elves, all six of them spoiling for a fight, and now we have Thranduil and the Dwarf in the gorge! Ah, dear! Poor Dwarf! The trees down there will undoubtedly assist Thranduil on his way down and break his fall; but who will aid the poor young Dwarf? Glad the branch broke beneath Thranduil and Kebur, actually, so the Dwarves' veracity can be ascertained. And love Legolas laughing so much he wakes up his tree! Heh! Author Reply: "Adolescent" is about right, or maybe just post-adolescent. They're sure acting like wild young guys anyway. I had to push myself to let them do it because I tend to be pretty repressed. Legolas is enjoying the story no end, and the tree knew it. :-) | |
| White Wolf | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/23/2008 |
| It must be terrible to be a Dwarf. They missed so much living in a flat world. Such a typical elvish pov and so funny. Legolas and Eilian are really getting and earful about their father and their keepers. I will never look at those three the same way again, and I don't think Legolas and Eilian will either. Could Legolas, Annael and Turgon together be any worse? Author Reply: Could Legolas, Annael and Turgon together be any worse? IMHO, they weren't nearly as bad! LOL. But then, as Beliond later tells Eilian, they lived in a more dangerous world, whereas Beliond and Maltanaur had the good fortune to be young and wild in a healthy, safe woods. No wonder their spirits were high. I liked that line about the flat world too. If you're used to moving up and down as well as horizontally, the world must look different, I think. | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/23/2008 |
| Oh my gosh! The Elves just had me in stitches the entire time - I loved the name calling - brilliant! And Fist Pounder! Still rolling on the floor - what a great chapter - now to find out about this fiery mess across the river.... Author Reply: I had to make up names for the Dwarves! I couldn't just keep calling them "the first Dwarf" and "the other Dwarf" and "no not that one, the other one." Sometimes the problems you run into in writing are just not predictable. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Agape. | |
| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| Very enjoyable chapter...Loved it.. Beliond would say it was Maltanaurs fault and vice versa. It seem Beliond has a hot temper and even hotter for a bit of revenge. Thranduil was more cautious of the three. Beliond is very amusing and has a very vivid imagination, and with Maltanaur to watch his back, they seem to get into trouble. Too bad you don't see Beliond this way much....Great job... Author Reply: I love writing from Beliond's point of view because he's so different from me. He makes me laugh. And it is too bad that life kicked him around a little so he lost some of that playfulness. I'm glad you liked it, pipinheart. | |
| ziggy | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| I love the way you have shown the differnt pov of Beliond and Maltanur, and the way you play upon their characters to present themselves in the best light and the other as the real culprit, (who me? No, not my idea, I just went along with it!). Makltanur is, I feel, a far more reliable narrator than Beliond, who just happily blames everyone else and is securely certain that he is always right!They both blame and take the credit for everything and I think that may be quite woodelvish in a way, that huge sense of enjoyment in storytelling actually, and complete abandon. You have, as always, developed Legolas with his musing on Thranduil before he met Legolas' mother. And I always appreciate the way you add details to give your world more life, more depth, beyond the immediate story- so Ithilden is trying to encourage Thranduil to see the dwarves as allies, and that of course, is something you use in other stories- so you are always building the back drop if you like. I find that really rewarding when I read, because it draws me back to other stories and often go back to read them again.And that Legolas actually hopes that Beliond will be as careful with Eilian as he is with him- a lovely ironic touch that. I love that both Beliond and Matlanuar say the same things about each other!! (Just repeat myself but it is one of the main points of this really, isnt it)and they both agree to 'get rid ' of Thranduil for a bit! Because of his uptight Sindar ways, leaving him' grinding his teeth'!!! loaded with Sindarin inhibitions would cramp an Elf's style all by itself. Love that! That was such a clear image. I love the free way the woodelves behave, DEFINITELY more dangerous and less wise- but who would not want to be like that!!!Beliond going along to watch Matnaous back is hilarious- and it's typical of Matanaour to leave Beliond to do all the hard bit, like exlplaining to Thranduil! Love this bit- Maltanaur watched him go with narrowed eyed. That was far too easy. (You can HEAR Matanour working through this in his head) Beliond should have squealed like a cat deprived of its mouse. He was up to something.(Oh yes!) Maltanaur shifted uneasily. (He sooo wants to go too... about to find a really really good excuse!)Leaving Beliond on his own was a bad idea. (oh yeah!) Besides, Maltanaur really wanted to know what Beliond had in mind. (Aha- now we come to it) Forgive me for quoting you back to yourself but that was so funny. Love it and am sad that you have said only a bit more- hope you ar eplanning more soon? Author Reply: I love the free way the woodelves behave, DEFINITELY more dangerous and less wise- but who would not want to be like that!!! Oh that's it exactly! That's why it's so much fun to write these guys. I'm pretty inhibited myself, probably way beyond even Sindar ways, so letting myself go and trying to think like Beliond is a joy. I suspect that you're right that Maltanaur is a more reliable narrator, but they're all having more fun than they might admit to Legolas and Eilian. Maltanaur choosing Beliond as a friend is sort of like Gelmir choosing Eilian. I have about 2000 words of the next chapter drafted, but I'm busy with weekend chores today. Tomorrow I should be able to write some more. It won't be be long. Thank you for this gratifying review. | |
| sofia | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| another wonderful chapter. I love the satire you use for the memories, it makes everything much more interesting! Can't wait to see what they do with Pounder. Author Reply: I'm glad you're enjoying it, Sofia. I'm having a lot of fun, and it would be a pity if I had no one to share my enjoyment. | |