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| While Hope Lasts by MP brennan | 9 Review(s) |
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| Samara | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/10/2009 |
| My God. You had me bawling like a baby during this first chapter. Your writing is phenominal. Your imagery is beautiful, the descriptions of emotion are heart rending and the conflicts presented are true and terrible. I don't know what I would do if I were ever presented with a decision as poor Gilraen has been, especially not after such a tragedy as that. I also must say, you write little Aragorn wonderfully. He's at that age where he doesn't really understand but does at the same time, and you capture his confusion and grief beautifully. You have a talent and a gift. Never, ever give it up. Author Reply: I'm incredibly touched by this review and your encouragement. This story deals with a lot of difficult subject matter. I guess all I could do was portray it honestly and hope that, as they say, "beauty is truth." Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such wonderful feedback. -Brennan | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/6/2009 |
| Yes, the descendants of Valandil were fostered in Rivendell, but not until they were older. Aragorn was most likely the first to be brought there as a toddler since perhaps Valandil's own day, the rest most likely coming in their early adolescence; and the only one to be considered a child of the house. But your reasoning is sound. Author Reply: Thanks for the clarification. Sorting out all the details of Tolkien's canon will probably take me a lifetime. | |
| Cairistiona | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/25/2009 |
| First off, my bad for missing entirely the bit about chieftains and fostering. *slapping hand* Bad beta! But you cover your bases nicely with the note, and as far as I'm concerned, rearranging a detail here or there is no problem. I really enjoyed this first chapter--I find the idea of an assassin killing Arathorn very intriguing and it's of course possible, since all we know is that Arathorn was shot in the eye during an orc attack. Open field otherwise. Herumor is a very chilling and intriguing character. And of all the lovely imagery that you always have in your story, I think the line that most makes me smile in this chapter is: "Now he couldn’t sit up; she was smooshing the blankets together." I love that word, smooshing! Very much a 2 y/o's language, that. Author Reply: No, my bad for basing a story around this in the first place (My blame! You can't have it! Precious . . .) I'm glad you think I've covered the bases sufficiently. Thanks for all the lovely feedback. That part with Aragorn and the blankets smooshing was based on many a childhood experience between me and my mom ;) Updated . . . cheers! -Brennan | |
| inzilbeth | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/24/2009 |
| A terrific opening chapter, well done. I particularly enjoyed that you included Ivorwen in this as we see her so rarely. And I'm very glad you put that note at the end as I was wondering why everyone was making such a fuss over something they had been doing for a thousand years! I'm looking forward to more. Author Reply: Thanks for the lovely review! I hope you keep reading. A new chapter is up today. cheers! -Brennan | |
| Ainariel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/23/2009 |
| I must say, I love this one, too. You have an ability to draw your readers right into your tale(s). I think my favorite line was: "As her hands closed on the damp wool and cool metal underneath, the slow breaking in her chest climaxed in a wracking wave of agony and the wreckage was complete." That one sentance is charged with the finality of what has happened, and describes so well the emotional maelstrom that comes with the realization. Powerful! At one time I would have agreed with the previous review that Aragorn's thoughts seem very mature for his age, but now - I am the 'Auntie' of 2 precocious little girls who just turned 2 and 4, respectively. Both could count to 15, knew their ABC's, could name their colors,and were speaking in complete sentences by the age of 2. They were also adamant about being "big girls" and not "little babies" anymore...so while he may be a bit mature, I don't think your Aragorn is too far off...particularly (as was also mentioned in the previous review) if he is a gifted/bright child. Another well-told story - I look forward to the updates! Author Reply: Thanks for the wonderful review! I'm glad you enjoyed this. I was trying to skirt the line between too little description and taking it too far. Thanks for your thoughts on little Aragorn! A new chap is up if you're interested . . . cheers! -Brennan | |
| Envinyatar | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/23/2009 |
| Loved this, especially the characterisation of Gilraen. Good to see her as a strong figure, she often seems to be portrayed as having little part in the decision to take Aragorn to Rivendell. Both the ambush and the description of the village were very convincing and I'm intrigued by all your original characters, both good and evil! One small thing - I thought Aragorn's thoughts seemed quite mature for a 2-year-old, but they worked well within the context of the story and I guess you could argue that Dunedain children would be more mature than us lesser mortals! Looking forward very much to reading more. Author Reply: Thanks for the lovely review! While I've read and enjoyed other Gilraen-goes-to-Rivendell stories, it's always bothered me a little that she often seems to have no say in the matter and few objections. I tried to twist my portrayal of her a little from what I've seen. I was warned about precocious little Aragorn, but I wasn't quite sure how to tweak him. Thanks for your patience; hopefully he'll be more believable in future chapters. Hope you keep reading! -Brennan | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/22/2009 |
| Well-written chapter. Of course I'd like to know who the Eebil Herumor is. Good characterisation of Gilraen and Ivorwen. What a storm to erupt over the newly fatherless little Aragorn; and poor Gilraen will have to be the one to put it out... Author Reply: Thanks for the great review! I'm glad you liked my characterizations. Ivorwen, in particular, was difficult because I had so little to go on in either canon or "fanon." Patience, more about the Eebil Herumor will be revealed in good time . . . >:D Hope you keep reading, -Brennan | |
| Linda Hoyland | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/22/2009 |
| This is just heartrending.It does seem plausible that Arathorn might have been singled out.I love the way you portray Gilraen and young Aragorn. Minor concrit, "cabins" sounds rather North American for M-e and I doubt Ivorwen would appear that old as she is of a long lived race and her daughter is only in her twenties. I would suggest older woman or middle aged wooman. This is a well told tale and I'm looking forward to more. Author Reply: Thanks for the review and the concrit. I'm glad you enjoyed Gilraen and little Aragorn. No cabins in the "Old World"? Oops. I'll go polish up the other chapters. Hope you keep reading! cheers, -Brennan | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/22/2009 |
| I absolutely loved the ambush! Sorry Arathorn! But it was quite well written - even though I knew this was about Arathorn - when I saw the arrow hit the eye - it became real, if you know what I mean. Excellent first part. I also loved the acoutrements about Arathorn's 'hall' - it had not occurred to me - but I think that you are correct in the fact that he would have a few articles to remember his kingdoms 'place' in Middle-earth. The description of the village was quite nice too. Well thought out. 'She could only guess that pity had moved the Valar to blind her eyes for a few moments longer' - loved this line and this thought, for I got chills when I read the first lines of the patrol as it came into view.... Oh my! Your description of her chaotic, hope-filled thoughts were too real. I lost someone violently, unexpectedly, and all these kinds of thoughts flooded my mind as I drove home upon the horrid news...... *sadly weeps* (well done indeed - I hope this was not written from your own experience.) Loved the 'discussion' about Aragorn's future and loved Gilraen's mom! Very nicely written tale - glad you 'qualified' the 'tradition.' Author Reply: Thanks for the great review! Having read many excellent stories with the same premise, I was a little daunted by the prospect of posting one of my own. Sorry to dredge up bad memories. As an author, I try to draw on my own experiences to get inside the characters heads. So, while I've been fortunate enough not to have to go through what Gilraen endured, I felt like in some small way I could empathize with her through the events in my life. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! I hope you keep reading. peace, -Brennan | |