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While Hope Lasts  by MP brennan 10 Review(s)
Linda HoylandReviewed Chapter: 4 on 3/11/2009
I'm glad they didn't kill Halpharn and his sister is recovering.It would be an interesting future story if an adukt Aragorn came across the outcast.

By the way,if you give an unconcious person a drink,they choke.There is a doctor on LJ who discusses medical errors in stories and that is one she mentions the most often.

I'm glad Gilraen is going to take Aragorn to Rivendell.I like your take on it as it seems very plausible.

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/12/2009
I rejoice Halpharn was given the chance to live and hopefully one day redeem himself--and perhaps you will one day write THAT story, too. And Laleth will at least be returned to her family--what remains of it.

And one day the masked Man will be found--and dealt with!

And the decision has been made, as painful as it is!

I, too, have considered that part of the reason for the decision to take Aragorn to Imladris had to do with Dunedain being suborned and coerced to treason. But that they would use children so--all too plausible, I fear.

Well done.

Author Reply: Thanks for the awesome review!
Yes, things are winding down in this story. I hope to write more with these characters somewhere down the road.
A treacherous Ranger was part of the orginal conception for this story. It wasn't till later, as I was brainstorming Gilraen's motivations, that the corruption of a child came into play. I was trying to show Gilraen realizing that there are dangers to Dunedain kids that go beyond the fear that they might be killed.
I hope you enjoy the conclusion which should be posted soon.
-Brennan

Raksha The DemonReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009
What a chapter - Halpharn's fate is agonizing to watch, though I cannot blame the Dunedain for exiling him. They simply cannot afford an untrustworthy link in their chain. The boy is lucky; had he been older, he probably would have been executed. But it's terribly sad; he was young and now he'll be an exile all his life; a life that may not be too long.

As far as concrit goes, there isn't much to give. The story is mostly riveting and well-written. I have two minor quibbles: (1)you use the adjective little in connection with small children (i.e. Laleth and Aragorn) a bit too often within a paragraph; the reader does not have to be reminded more than once that the child is little. Also, I couldn't understand why Scumbucket Herumor took Laleth with him, especially since she could barely stand up and even he thought that she wouldn't fetch much of a price in slave markets. I know that for the purposes of the plot, Herumor had to take Laleth with him on his horse so she could escape; but I thought there needed to be a better reason for it; since you pretty much established that she had become utterly useless to him. The only reasons I could think of are pretty horrible, but would make more sense to me. I'm so glad that Laleth escaped and will hopefully be reunited with her poor mother.

What will Lothiriel think of her son Halpharn's being exiled as a traitor, I wonder? Very sad, but also realistic.

I can certainly see why Gilrain wants to bring her little boy to a place that's as protected and peaceful as Imladris; there's only so much the poor young woman can take.

Author Reply: Thanks for a wonderful review and some great concrit!
Word repetition is one of the major things I struggle with in my writing, maybe because I write in short bursts and then forget to go back and make everything cohesive.
As for Herumor taking Laleth, I wish I had taken more time to develop that, but I didn't want to weigh the plotline down. My thinking at the time was that he wanted a hostage in case the Rangers caught up with him--they'd be less likely to shoot at him if there was a danger of killing one of their own kids. Though, he is twisted enough to take pleasure in more horrible uses that I can't bring myself to describe here.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chap! Thanks for all the feedback!
-Brennan

Agape4GondorReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009
Hmmmm - great chapter and I loved Gilraen's final reason for taking Aragorn to Imladris....

I'm not sure if the boy really could have survived the branding without becoming unconscious and I really cannot see the pain easing so quickly - no matter Ranger remedies... even an iron burn on the hand lasts forever... at least IMHO.

I think the poor boy should have been executed - for mercy's sake. To leave him in the wild and banished.... just my own feeling.

Great chapter as I said above. Well worth reading!

Author Reply: Thanks for another wonderful review!
Yes, the remedy was a small example of reality sacrificed on the altar of plot development. To get the tone of the scene right, it was important that he leave at that point, and I couldn't see Rangers banishing a child--even a traitor--if he were seriously hurt. On the other hand, there is evidence that ancients had much higher pain threshold that we novacaine-pampered people, so that, coupled with his heritage as a Dunedain (hardiest of all living Men) may explain how he bounced back so quickly.
I wondered, as well, whether an execution might have been more plausible, but in the end I couldn't see them doing it. Not to a child; there is always hope for a child. I tried to write him as being *almost* at the age of self-sufficiency. As a Ranger-to-be, he would have received lots of training in wilderness survival and navigation. So, while he won't have a fun time, they weren't sending him to a slow death out there.
Thanks again for a great, thought-provoking review!
-Brennan

EnvinyatarReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009
I'm loving this. You've really brought Gilraen to life, and your original characters are very convincing.

The judgment scene was well done. I could feel Arandur's pain at what seems to be the only possible verdict. Dare we hope that Aragorn might encounter Halpharn at some later date...

Looking forward to the end of this and many more stories from you.

Author Reply: Thanks for the lovely review! I'm glad you're enjoying these characters, especially the slew of OC's.
Re Aragorn meeting Halpharn . . . that would be an interesting meeting, wouldn't it? The muse has been stewing over it for a while, so we'll see if anything comes of it.
Thanks again for the support, and I hope you keep reading!
-Brennan

SamaraReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009
Aaaaaaaaand...you made me cry again. God, that poor girl, and although I cannot look favorably upon his actions, that boy did what he did in defense of her. It's an unpleasant business all round I do suppose.

I cannot wait for the next chapter. Things are moving swiftly now and I am eager to see how they are concluded.

Magnificent job.

Author Reply: Aw, don't cry! Well, okay, maybe cry--I did when I was writing this. It is indeed an unpleasant business, but I see it as one of those harsh realities the Dunedain have to face.
Editing is moving swiftly as well, so I may have the conclusion up as early as tomorrow. I hope you enjoy!
-Brennan

curiouswombatReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009
It continues to be a very powerful story, this. I want to weep for poor Halpharn, and hope he, too finds shelter and someone to care for him.

Author Reply: Thanks for the wonderful review. I'm very touched that so many readers have come to care for Halpharn as much as I myself do.
I can say without giving anything away that his part in this story is over. This was meant to be a very focused story dealing with Gilraen and her immediate family, so Halpharn finding his place in the world had to be pushed to a later story. I haven't decided for certain what I'm going to do with him--whether he'll get his own story or just a small part in a larger work--but I'm not done with him yet.
The conclusion to Gilraen's story should be up soon. I hope you enjoy!
-Brennan

ElflingimpReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009
You are definetly doing it right as far as I am concerned,I felt so bad for the little girl and for her brother, for all he cared for her he will probably never see her again, but I understood he could not be trusted again, I wonder in the future how Aragorn when he is older will feel about this boy who caused Arathorns death. Hugs The Imp

Author Reply: Yeah, I wonder too . . .
Thanks for the great review! The feedback means a lot to me, especially since this was such a difficult chapter to write.
-Brennan

eliza61Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009
Now this is just wonderful, I am having an absolute horrid day (through no fault of my own) with my kids acting like little orcs when suddenly one of my favorite stories has a new chapter. Hooray!! Only to be left with a cliffee..
I would say that, that was evil but this is simply too marvelous a story.

You are doing a marvelous job. I love how you fleshed out your supporting stories and really like your portrayal of Gilraen. Her interaction with her brother and Aragorn are great.

*sighs* Now I have to hang on until my next update. back to my little orcies.


Author Reply: Glad you enjoyed it! Sorry about the cliffee. The conclusion should be up soon, after which I promise at least *fewer* loose ends.
Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! Hope things are going well with the orclings.
-Brennan

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009
*Sigh*

Poor Halpharn. What he did was so terribly wrong, yet I feel sorry for him. But what else could Arandur do?

I'm glad Gilraen has finally seen sense and is taking young Aragorn to Imladris. I hope they arrive without incident - but I don't like your note of foreboding for Thorondir.


Author Reply: Yes. This was a situation where there was really no right answer--just one outcome that sucks slightly less than the others.
Re getting to Imladris . . . well, I hope World Peace is achieved by next Tuesday, but I don't think it's likely;-)
And on that cheerful note, the conclusion will probably be up tomorrow! Thanks so much for all your support, and I hope you enjoy the last chap!
peace,
-Brennan

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