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| Where Was Imrahil When Grond Hit the Gate? by Stefania | 7 Review(s) |
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| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/6/2009 |
| I forgot to mention that there is a possible discrepancy in your use of the name Angelimar for the ship. The name is that of Imrahil's grandfather, as I'm sure you know. Unfinished Tales had the spelling Angelimar; but that was evidently an error, corrected in HoME. http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/a/angelimir.html | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/6/2009 |
| Fascinating AU account of Imrahil's deeds in the Ring War, and his meeting with Aragorn. Good use of naval and military strategy (which is something I find very difficult) and an excellent elaboration on the movie continuity. | |
| Linda Hoyland | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/29/2009 |
| I just loved your account of the green army,delightfully amusing and the atory answered a lot of questions! Author Reply: Hey Linda - Good to hear from you. The army of the dead, as portrayed in the LOTR films, had the efficiency of scrubble bubbles. I wish I could hire them to clean my house. Thanks for your review. - Steff | |
| utfrog | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/28/2009 |
| Excellent story - I like the "fix the movies" theme. Thanks Author Reply: And thank you for your review, utfrog. - Steff | |
| eiluj | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/28/2009 |
| I liked the way you maneuvered Imrahil just outside the edges of the film by having him needed in the south to deal with the Corsairs. I always feel he's somewhere in the movie just out of sight. I enjoyed Legolas's difficulties operating at the extreme range of elven eyesight. And kudos on boning up on Medieval ships. Sorry, but now I'm going to quibble a bit. First, the spelling of Edhellond. It's a Sindarin word, and means "elf harbor." The first half is "edhel" (elf); the dh is one letter, and is pronounced like the th in "then." The same "edhel" is found in "peredhel" (half-elf). The second half is "lond" (strait or harbor-entrance), as in "Mithlond" (the Grey Havens or harbors). [You can check all this at the site, "The Thain's Book"] Imrahil's youngest son, Amrothos, has only one "r." [Again, see "The Thain's Book"] "The next morning Aragorn and his companions, boarded the pirate galley where the king of the dead patiently waited. The galley continued *down* the Anduin." You're writing movie-verse, and PJ's Middle-earth is admittedly much smaller than Tolkien's. That you have the pirates sailing upriver all the way to Erech tells me you're using PJ's smaller Middle-earth, but I don't know to what extent you meant to *alter* the geography of Tolkien's Middle-earth as well as shrink it. In the bit I quoted, you tell us they're beginning the day in Dol Amroth. Dol Amroth is on the seacoast, approximately 250 miles west of the *mouth* of the Anduin. When they arrive at the mouth of the Anduin, they will then need to row and/or sail *up* the Anduin another 250 miles or so to Minas Tirith. In other words, they can't sail *down* the Anduin if they're not *in* the river -- and in any case, Minas Tirith, being inland, is *up*river from the ocean. If you meant to change the geography, okay -- though it's only wise to warn the readers the geography is significantly AU. But if not, you might want to consult Karen Fonstad's The Atlas of Middle-earth, which has a wealth of maps and all sorts of historical and geographical info. If your public library doesn't own it, they can obtain it for you through Interlibrary Loan; and the last I knew, it was still in print. Author Reply: Hi Eiluj - I appreciate for your detailed response. In fact (gulp), my spelling of the town on the Bay of Belfalas --Edelhond--is a misspelling. Same with Amrrothos. Spelling checkers mark as errors all Tolkien character and place names. Sigh. I will make these changes. Thanks for finding them, and can I hire you as an editor :) ? Finally, you quote me thus: "The galley continued down the Anduin" You found a continuity error on my part here, probably due to the pressure of having to finish a story for a challenge. I should have written "into the Bay of Belfalas and then down the Anduin." I thank you for that and I will make the changes. Please be aware that I constantly research the geography of Tolkien's world in both my well-used Atlas of Middle Earth AND the online Encyclopedia of Arda for all my stories, not just this one. BTW, My favorite source for original character names is Encyclopedia of Arda. I sometimes use Wikipedia, but only as a secondary source. The major challenge for this story, in addition to the medieval ships information, was Dol Amroth's location 250 miles from the mouth of the Anduin. I wanted to show Imrahil defending his home and encountering Aragorn in that particular location. That's why I used the film device of extremely fast moving ghosts as the pirate ships' very own jet propelled motors. Otherwise, those ships would never have made it to Pelargir, let alone, Minas Tirith on time to save the day. Again, thanks so much for finding the glitches. - Steff | |
| cathleen | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/27/2009 |
| Stef, very good story, and I can see where it might be a hard one to write. Author Reply: Hi Cathleen - Thanks for your comments. I sure as heck had a problem reconciling the Tolkien vs. Jackson geography of Gondor and where to place Imrahil and Aragorn's encounter. My response to Eiluj's review partially explains this. That's one reason why I was stressing the completion of this story within the time frame of the LOTR GFIC challenge. I personally think Tolkien screwed himself up by creating such great distances for Gondor. Dol Amroth was so far from Minas Tirith, by land and especially by water. How could Denethor have sent messages to Dol Amroth and have them be received by Imrahil in time for the Swan Knights to arrive in Minas Tirith when they do in the books? Denethor and Imrahil needed cell phones, I tell ya, to communicate. Then Imrahil needed high speed monster cruise ships to get his army from Belfalas and then all the way down the Anduin in the knick of time. Distances in the geography of Middle Earth are an ongoing problem for anyone who writes Tolkien fan fiction, book or film-based. Sigh. See ya at the MEFAs. - Steff | |
| Elea24 | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/27/2009 |
| I think this works very well! I particularly liked the meeting between Imrahil and Aragorn -- very poignant :) Author Reply: Thanks, Elea. This story was hard to write, partially due to the meeting of Aragorn and Imrahil, but mostly due to all that nautical stuff. The Jackson films showed the Corsairs in ships that I think are from Africa. I imagined the Corsairs in oar-propelled galleys. Imrahil's caravels were modeled on early caravels in use in Spain from about 1300--not the great sailing ships we remember from "Pirates of the Caribbean" and other pirate movies of the past. Any ship type in use after 1300 would be anacronistic to the Medieval view the Jackson films (and I) have for Gondor. I'm happy that my gap-filler worked for you. - Steff | |