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| The Valley is Jolly by Canafinwe | 4 Review(s) |
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| lasse | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 12/17/2016 |
| I have a minor piece of constructive...not exactly criticism, more like raising an issue. I probably wouldn't tell this to another writer but you are such a wonderfully eagle-eyed stickler for considering the psychology and pov of each character you write when you write their dialogue and thoughts, that I thought I'd mention it: it's likely that Elrond would NOT refer to himself as "I" as in "he gave me the love..." throughout his story about his time with Maglor. It would be far more likely for him to refer to himself and Elros collectively as "we." Twins, especially identical twins, often have a hard time calling themselves "I" instead of "we" even in situations where it would be more appropriate to refer to themselves as "I" (like personal feelings). In cases where they went through a shared experience where they both experienced and felt the same things, they are even more likely to think of and talk of themselves as "we." If they grew up together they also generally never cease to think of themselves as a twin and/or half of a pair, in the present tense, even if one twin has long since died, since twin identity rests on being raised as a twin rather than currently having a live twin. | |
| Inzilbeth | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 1/2/2010 |
| Ah, lovely, quite lovely! I so adore your Elrond and Estel moments and this one was just perfect. And Gandalf 'looking like an eagle' I can well imagine! The sparring between Istar and Elf-Elrond is very entertaining! How sad though that Estel has such vivid nightmares of all the worst times in his family history. A beautiful chapter. Author Reply: Thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying the Elrond and Estel moments. I love them both so much, and its wonderful to put them together. Nice to know that the image of Gandalf the eagle struck you! | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 12/31/2009 |
| Aha! I was right! Heh! And the child begins to appreciate the history of his own lineage from a true appreciation of what it has cost the world and his people, not just in terms of raw facts and statistics. He's now seen the carnage and felt its cost. And Gandalf's comments on the possibility the child will grow to rob Elrond of Arwen's company hits low, I think. Poor child--I already admire him! Author Reply: Yup, you were right! In defence of Gandalf, I'm sure he didn't forsee *that* particular treasure would be the one that the child would grow to take. I don't think anyone saw that coming... but to forsee pain is another matter. I'm so glad you admire Estel! That means I'm not too far off-base! | |
| Dreamflower | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 12/30/2009 |
| You know, that is one parallel I had not thought about: that Elrond was reared by a foster-father-- just as was Estel! Of course that would have made a difference! Wonderful observation! (I wonder-- is Gandalf truly so disapproving as he sounds, or is he merely sounding out, his host in a way that will get him to open up more...) Author Reply: I'm glad you found that point to be interesting! It fascinates me. As for Gandalf, he's more perplexed than anything. He's never seen Elrond as the father of a small child -- and as a Maia, of course, he had neither a father nor any children. And, as you say, he's trying to sound out his friend. Thanks as always for the lovely feedback! Much appreciated! | |