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| Rise Again From Ashes by Independence1776 | 2 Review(s) |
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| Shemyaza | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/20/2010 |
| Your story is immensely interesting and well written. You're painting a very unforgiving picture of Valinor millennia and millennia on from the Kinslaying and I think that perhaps you are accurate in that portrayal to a large degree. I'm honestly not sure that the Maiar would have had to manhandle Maglor to that degree, I think that they would have been able to immobilise him without physical violence. I also think that they would have a measure of mercy left in them, despite everything that had happened. Maglor was not his father. Yes, he killed other Elves, but plenty other kinslayers were probably reborn, were they all treated so inhumanely and coldly? To err is human, to forgive Divine...and because the Valar forgave Maglor, albeit with a few caveats, I believe that the Maiar would have done likewise. I think putting him in the care of Elrond was probably a humane and an act of poetic justice on the part of the Valar and is a very good notion on your part as a writer. I'm sure that Maglor would not have gone back to Valinor and not expected judgement or punishment of some kind, but it seems rather sad that he, being the only one of the Feanorian brothers to survive should carry the brunt of the judgement and punishment for all of them which is how it seems. The Avari were those who didn't travel with the others to Valinor after the awakening, I'm not entirely sure they would ever have answered the call to Valinor since they were not wholly aware who the Valar were or even why they should answer the call of Mandos. I imagine they would have possibly have faded away. I think perhaps you might want to explain how it is that some of the Avari are there at all. Did they die and answered the call of Mandos and were then reborn? It's not terribly clear. It's also not very clear as to why Elrond of all people would be asked to meet with them nor is the purpose for the meeting. These are just niggly questions which arise when reading an otherwise excellently written and characterised story. Author Reply: I'm glad you like my story so far! Well, I thought I made it clear the guards were the one that came with to Lorien, not Maiar. Huh-- I'll go back and look it over to see if I need to rewrite a bit. Thank you! I think, probably like you do, that putting Maglor anywhere else would be cruel. However, I disagree with your assesment that he's carrying the brunt of the punishment (well, from an outside POV, the Valar's, and Elrond's, anyhow). What the rest of the people of Valinor think or will do comes from the fact that he *is* the only Feanorian living, and so some of them will take their anger out on his family on him because he's the only target. People are complicated, and with RAFA being in first person, I can't really show what everyone around him truly thinks. (This isn't to say that your assesment is wrong-- it's your opinion-- and it makes me think and clarify, which is always a good thing.) How I worked with the Avari in RAFA is two-faceted. One is that in the intervening years, people changed their minds. I do think they didn't know much about Valinor, but after the Ring War, mortals began encroaching on tribal lands as well as starting to discriminate in rather harsh measures. Secondly, the Blue Wizards, because they went to the East, could have reinvited the Avari to Valinor, as well as telling them more about it. (I eventually plan to work with the Avari in a couple of stories, so while this is background information right now, hopefully it'll be "published" sooner or later.) So, in effect, with Middle-earth becoming less hospitable, they chose to leave. (Some did die and were reborn.) I hope that answers your concern! Thank you so much for your concrit. I truly appreciate it. | |
| Laiwalâssê | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 7/20/2010 |
| I´m more and more drawn to this story. Although I know I should not but I almost pity Maglor. I like your Elrond very much. His interactions with Maglor are perfect. Keep up this interesting work. Can´t wait for the next chapter. Thank you for sharing this. Lai Author Reply: Why shouldn't you pity Maglor? I do (but then, he's my favorite character). I'm glad you like Elrond! | |