I have spent some time reflecting on the depth of Olorin's despair here, and it is profound. As Gandalf, his function was to encourage action and enhearten the resistance to despair, to "oppos[e] the fire that devours and wastes with the fire that kindles, and succors in wanhope and distress," and it seems he took this charge very seriously. I suppose it is easier to reject despair, even when no reason for hope remains, when the enemy you fight is clearly evil and your allies pure. I wonder if he realized that all of the Valar are complicit, not just Manwe, and he feels he has nothing else he can do but offer himself back to Iluvatar, hoping to escape final dissolution? I doubt he'll remain this way long though, for desapir is ultimately a cowardly reaction, and he's far from that. He does have one ally, Eru himself, who may be inscrutable but at the same time just, at least in Olorin's eyes. As much as he wants to deflect praise in his (real) humility, I think it overwhelms him how unfair this is, and that faith is not shaken. |