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The Revenge of the Wood-Elf (Telerius galadh) by Orophins Dottir	8 Review(s)
meckinock	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 1/10/2004
(Cracking knuckles) Ahem. If you would be so kind, please tell the individual up in my spruce tree to lower his bow. He's scaring the squirrels. If he wants to shoot out my windows so I can claim it on the insurance that would be fine, of course, since I need to replace them anyway... I'll reply to your review (for which you have my thanks) under separate cover, naturally, but since I have been shown to be demonstrably in arrears, and you churn out chapters at a faster rate than I shave my legs, I guess I'd better waste no time get started. Daylight's burning, after all, and we humans need our sleep! I'm all the way up to Chapter 3, you say? All-righty, then. Oh, and we humans also have a saying...be careful what you wish for.. The main reason I don't review more is that it takes incredible effort for me to review without offending anyone! The contrast between the colloquial language of the characters' thoughts and the whatever-the-heck-it-is, Elizabethan (?) English that you taught yourself to annoy your parents that the characters use in dialogue continues to be a brilliantly hilarious device. An absolute stroke of genius. I mean that seriously. Personally, I never went out of my way to annoy my parents; it just happened totally accidentally. Their annoyance at unintentional slights like my inability to remember to unload the dishwasher resulted in enough misery that I never, ever intentionally invoked their ire...but I digress... Loved Legolas's dismay at Glorfindels's estimation of his level of maturity and his saracastic observation: "Legolas, one of the Nine Walkers, Elfling". Continued to love Legolas's observations of Glorfindel ("This was puzzling to Legolas considering what Glorfindel had been through. Balrogs were no picnic, after all"). Basically, I would consider the entire Legolas-Glorfindel exchange a home run. Not being really in tune with elf sensibilities, you understand, I kind of liked the concept that the Mirkwood Elves were a bit distrustful of old Elrond. The guy really needs to get out more. What does he do all day, dust his book collection? No, I guess he has servants for that...though why an elf would be a servant for three or four thousand years is totally beyond me and is one of the bugs I've been placing in Balrog Mama's ear...you may yet regret asking me to encourage her...but I digress... Liked BW's perspective a lot. I've wondered a lot about the custom of naming weapons myself. Like, who but elves would have the inclination to name inanimate objects? I have to remember two different six-digit codes just to get to my desk in the morning, not to mention my ATM number, the passwords I gave my accounts at Amazon and TheNewYorkTimes.com and all of that; who has time to name weapons? It's kind of like my porch goose. My mother keeps giving me outfits for the goose; like I'm supposed to get up every morning and think about what kind of outfit the goose might like to wear today - yellow rain slicker, maybe, or perhaps that lavender spring dress with parasol? I can barely get out of the house myself with shoes that are the same color; like I have time to figure out what the danged goose should wear....Aragorn picked that crap up from the elves...naming weapons; spent more time talking about that damned sword than he did using it...and he got to be the same way with the Eru-cursed horses before the end...but I digress... Not surprised at BW getting ignored by Gil-Galad. Certain ethnic groups, especially those that adhere to religions that we are supposed to be particularly senstitive to at the moment, are like that - won't make eye contact, act like you're some kind of slimy bog creature that will render them ritually unclean to be in their presence; especially if you're female..had that very experience with a gentleman in the freight elevator at our building the other day who had every reason to be civil to me...but I digress... Whoa. Big nasty battle with Men. Bad Men. Really Bad Men. This is quite a dark turn to the story; one that I was not prepared for. Liked the bit with Glorfindel rigging bells on Asfaloth solely to tick off Elrond; he definitely has potential. And so Celeborn decided his everyday duds would be fine to pay Glordindels' camp a visit, huh? Elves sure seem to spend a lot of time worrying about what to wear, don't they? Who does their laundry, I wonder? This is another bug I've been putting in Balrog Mama's ear, by the way....and no cracks about how often we Rangers do our laundry; you try schlepping your shorts down to the riverbank and smacking them on a rock and see how often you feel like doing it! I'll bet it took quite some doing to get Elladan and Elrohir all decked out in Galadhrim livery for that shindig; those boys were so far off the reservation by the time their old ada took the Ship That Don't Come Back Again that I'm suprised they didn't show up in bobby socks and Black Watch kilts...not that it would have been a bad visual image... I'll keep working on it, but given your prolific habits, I expect it'll be the Mayan sixtth cycle before I get caught up! When I get to those stories of yours that are the same but different, what do you recommmend? Alternate chapter by chapter or do the one and then the other? Yours in crime, meckinock Author Reply: Ummm, you have a porch goose? Elf eyes Ranger with deep suspicion. She hath heard rumours and breathings on the night air, but. . .a porch goose? Shivers and commits her fea to Iluvatar's protection. This fell beast requires wardrobe changes? Might she suggest an elvencat instead? Elf hath two. They sleep 18 hours a day. Very low maintenance. Lets me go off and be the warrior that I am. Elven clothing does not get SOILED, human! We are very tidy. Just look at Legolas throughout the Abomination's epics. A little smudge of artistic dirt on his face after Moria. NOW, there is the problem of the filthy Rangers. Of course, the Abomination does not let Halbarad into story at all. We shall address this in the "Voyage to New Zealand". I shall consult thee. We wanted to see Halbarad and the Twins. Elves are saying that the two smiths who reforged Anduril are the Twins. I am not so sure. Smithing was in their background. Think they were related to Celibrimbor and Eol. Do not sue me if I am wrong. If suing, contact my law firm: Melkor, Morgoth and Sauron. . . Thank you for review and diet coke. 'Tis a strange beverage, but better than stale wine. I am off to review thy second chapter! Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil

technetium	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 1/6/2004
Wow! I am so impressed with this story. Elves are hard to write well, at least in my opinion, but you do an excellent job. Your writing, especially the Elven dialogue is beautifully poetic, and worthy of Tolkien. I like the bit with Celeborn remembering Celebrian. I'd be terrified if I was in BW's position. This story is grim one moment and hilarious the next, but it seems natural. Hehe - I love the explanation for Asfaloth's bells. Author Reply: Thank you. I appreciate all your reviews and hope you will continue. You will note how careful I am being not to accidently delete any more of them! BW is about to make a momentous decision in her life. Will she stand with the elves or the humans? Asfaloth's bells have always amused me. Nilmandra, one of our web elves, and I have a lot of fun with them. Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil

Lindorien	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 1/6/2004
"I was not the father of a daughter for nothing. It oft took the combined efforts of Galadriel and myself to get Celebrían dressed to her satisfaction and her mother’s." His eyes softened at the memory of his daughter. "Will you permit a small liberty?" She nodded and, to her amazement, Celeborn leaned over and pulled the clip from her hair and released it upon her shoulders. "You will feel prettier if you wear it thus." that is SOOOO sweet. Celeborn moment. Serious stuff here. I love the voices you give these elves. I must admit, I think I can actually SEE these guys. This is no small task for the elf-impaired. I can see them and I am scared of them. I can't believe those poachers had the nerve to tackle them. BW must be walking around in awe. This is an odd mix of humor and horror. I am nervous about what I shall find in the next chapter. Author Reply: I make you nervous? Good. Be afraid, be very afraid. Legolas is not a nice elf when he is torked off. None of them are. The First and Second Ages should have proved that. Elves were never meant to be warm and fuzzy. If you want to see scary, check out how they are depicted in Celtic mythology. I would not mess with them. There is an American Indian legend wherein the Great Spirit is dividing men from the rest of his creations by creating a great chasm in the earth that they cannot get across. At the last moment, before it becomes too wide, the dog leaps across to stand with man. BW is about to leap over her own personal abyss and stand with the elves. Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil

The Karenator	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/1/2003
What is this? You, my Lady, would command the great BLOND elven lord, Glorfindel, to accompany you to the bayou bog and discharge his foresworn duty to me to slay foul demons of the comuter underworld? The palace is prepared for his arrival. A great feast has been planned and will be of the most worthy kind known to mortals as a 'hotdog supper'. Oh! what shall I do? How will I keep the peasants pleasant? Such distress has befallen me, I shall have to think on better things....(such as how to disable the Woodland King's bossy scribe....or review this story...) Ah, my lady, another very well done chapter. Alas, it has taken a slight turn into a deeper darker wood, but I see no harm to any of our glorious heros as light still filters between the great boughs and leafy arms of the Great Wood. Our kindred are still sharp of wit and keen of arrow and blade. Evil crossed their path and the poachers were dealt with accordingly. Being one of the Southern of our kind, it is entirely still admissible to use the common and much admired defense that..."they needed killing". Nay..not one court, nor any ruler in my fair land would fail to recognize the viability of laying such claim. My lovely BLOND elven lord, Glorfindel, is truly one to be held in high esteem. Bells for Lord Elrond! How thoughtful. The young prince of Mirkwood was gently persuaded to remember his place and attire himself as befiiting his station. I must admit, he was quite fetching. This chapter has led us into the darker recesses of our kindred's minds and hearts, but I look forward to seeing what these revelations will bring us in the future. It only comfirms what we all know to be true...elves are a dangerous lot when ticked off! Carry on....:>) Karen Author Reply: My heart my lady is filled with awe and wonder for so impressed is our noble Thranduil with your now firm grasp of the adjectival niceties of addressing his blondness, that he--dare I write these words--has agreed to substitute for the noble Glorfindel. My liege says that he has never tasted this delicacy that you name a hotdog and he is full curious. He begs me to advise you that he shall bring a few of our smaller spiders to amuse any elflings that may be in attendance. We also have vampire bats if you have neighbors that perhaps annoy you? And wargs and the odd werwolf or two if this be of interest. His majesty understands that wargs have a taste for computer repairmen. This story is really just taking me along for the ride. Beware of any plot bunnies that Bryn may send your way. They are quite alarming at times! I think I need to let BW see what she's up against and what the her think tank employer has really unleashed. For I say unto you that we are going to well and truly take BW down the paths of mayhem and murder and she must understand. I see an arrow in the heart of the despicable LH who so cravenly wrecked her car, ate her out of house and home and then dumped her. It does not pay to let noble warriors know that a maiden has been defiled and then to walk before their bows! humble scribe has given this fell creature the initials of a former boyfriend and is going to enjoy this--snarf, snarf, snicker! I pray you save a spare bedroom for me for I believe the fair Nilmandra is waxing wroth at my treatment of the Peredhil and I may need to lay low soon! Adieu, fair lady, for Glorfindel is seeking the ingredients for a Hurricane so that he may sample this libation e'er we depart! Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil

Nilmandra	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/31/2003
So, the elfling got his way! I am rather surprised that Glorfindel agreed to such bribery, such things being frowned upon by warriors of such standing, but then again, Legolas is such a cute lil elfling, who could refuse him anything? And Asfaloth's bells! All done for the torment of Master Elrond! Oh, I am laughing so hard at Glorfindel but I am sure at some point I will need to defend my poor beleaguered half-elf. Everyone is picking on him! Well, I am glad to see more of Gil-Galad, fine Elven King that he is. I love his current assignment - making sure the brothers Galadhrim don't break each other's necks with all the hugging. Surely he will be able to lift Elrond's spirits and free him from the tyranny of Galadriel 'she who dressed her grandsons as Galadrim and not Imladrian warriors'? Author Reply: repeats to herself softly - I love Master Elrond. I will be kind to Master Elrond. No, it worketh not. I feel myself slipping. The Cold One approaches. Ai! However, I offer a ray of hope for my Aussie elf. Stop, fell muse! His name is not really Mitzi! Gasping with laughter at the memory of that wonderful film, Scribe succumbs to yet another "bloody Madonna song" BW may prove a kindred spirit to the Peredhil, for BW is definitely NOT blonde. On the morrow departeth Glorfy and I to N'Awlins. He heeds not your fair counsel to avoid the Quarter at night for he has heard tell of the fatal beads of gold, green and purple and would adorn himself and Asfaloth with such rainment. Humble scribe has packed both parchment and quills as she will be deprived of her computer until the 11th. Ai! May the Valar protect me. Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil

Marnie	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/31/2003
I do love your irrepressable Glorfindel in this, and after all the build up the explanation for the bells had me in stitches :) But at the same time I'm enjoying the twist towards a slightly darker mood. I may be sick, but I did admire Celeborn's bloody-handed mercy. I've always known he had a ruthless side. And how nice to see Legolas in the Woodland Crown! The question is, is he going to force Glorfindel to parade in front of his men naked at any point? Just academic curiosity, you understand . Author Reply: My take on Celeborn, and it seems to go against the mainstream opinion, is that he is the really strong one and not Galadriel. I cannot imagine her in Arda without him there but, as we know, he is able to endure without her. How is that possible? I have a few small threads of a story and I hope they grow. Yes, I see Celeborn as having the strength to go against his inborn nature, whic is to love peace, and be primally fierce. Gil-Galad's observation that no one loves peace more than Celeborn, and that he has never been fated to have it long sums up my thinking. Think of the strength and ferocity but also pain that could engender. He who loves peace has become a great warrior and the guard of his people. Alas, Celeborn, and still you are able to love.

Elemmire	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/31/2003
Oh...how delightful! Parts I particularily like: Arod eyed the other horse suspiciously for he was of the Rohirrim, and horses of the Rohirrim wear not bells. Far better to ally their warriors with the Mad Witch of the Galadhrim than anyone else. Glorfindel had risen two hours before his elflings. "First, I want your word that you will never, ever refer to me or to Haldir as an ‘elfling’ again and if you slip we shall be allowed to punish you as we wish, even if it is to make you stand naked in front of your soldiers. That is the first thing." (Will you be arranging for this to happen? ;) ) One thing, this was a little awkward: "They kill my people or carry them into torment and in them is no mercy and thus they rob me of mine." :), Elemmire Author Reply: Oh, someone likes my "mad witch"! 'Tis a line that stuck in my head for some time before I could use it. Also, Arod! I have always had a fondness for Arod. He doesn't get the press that Shadowfax does, but I think I'd rather trust myself to the little Rohirrim horse. Stops to ponder how poor Hasufel suddenly became "BREGO" after Aragorn got pitched off that stupid warg in the "Two Towers" film. I pray that the extended DVD release will provide an explanation as I am most confused. I am not quite sure I agree with your assessment of the "mercy" line, but I will be fine tuning this chapter and will ponder upon it. Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful reviews.

daw the minstrel	Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/31/2003
Wow, what a chapter. Your fierce Elves were wonderful. They were savage and splendid at the same time. I particularly liked Celeborn, of course. The blood on the cheeks, the explanation of the dead children, it all just blew me away. Then you threw in the humor and I have to say I laughed out loud at Glorfindel's explanation of why Asfaloth had bells. Poor Elrond. Author Reply: As Marnie says, Celeborn is not just "Mr. Galadriel"! I have always been fascinated by him as one of the most complex characters among the elves. To have earned the love of Galadriel, the only female of the truly powerful creatures before the War of the Rings, he must have had something very special to offer her. I have never doubted that Galadriel loves Celeborn and heeds his words. And in my mind, the elves are indeed fierce. Their time is fading but they "do not go gentle into that good night". Thank you for your perceptive reviews. I always look forward to them!

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