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| The Enemy Within by daw the minstrel | 9 Review(s) |
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| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/26/2016 |
| Wow, there are a lot of crotchety woodelves. I love Annael trying to keep the peace. Although I imagine Legolas thinks he's being restrained by not yelling at Eilian. I was kind of glad Hoth challenged his father, though. It was time for all that underlying tension to spill over. "The Troop Commander told you what happened?" Yikes. Though to be fair, there was no way it could be kept secret for long. Poor Eilian. Obviously there's more to his temper than he realises but still, I feel for him. "Hoth's gone." Well. Of course he is. What else could go wrong?! And Legolas trying to look after Eilian! I'm torn between thinking it's sweet and feeling so bad for Legolas that he feels he has to. "His back is burned." Oh, for... *sigh* Go get Gwaleniel. "Legolas," Eilian said, "go get Gwaleniel." Hey, I just said that. Why does he need the charm all the time??? "We have to talk to Adar," Eilian said. Oh thank God. Except I have to run to work now... Back later! Author Reply: It's very annoying when they expect you to go to work all the time. Hoth did the right thing in speaking up to his father. His impulses were good ones. Well, some of them anyway. The one to jump the fire wasn't. Eilian's best moment was when he acts to help find Hoth even though he's still wearing the charm. He wavers because he's not at his best, but in the end, his love for Legolas makes him do what the brat asks. And then the charm annoys him enough that he pulls it off. Good going, Eilian. :-) Thanks, Dot. daw | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/24/2016 |
| Thranduil would have to know about the injury to the merchant's son, but given the scene Eilian had just made on the Green, some other time would be better. Much better. Oh, yeah. Much. I can't wait to see what Thranduil is going to say about all this. Author Reply: I love Thranduil but he's pretty high-handed and exacting. I wouldn't want him as a father. And his boys have learned how to get around him, each in his own unique way. | |
| Lady A | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/20/2016 |
| Thank you again for this great story ! I love the passage in which Legolas tries to make Eilian back away. I think he is more conscient of his role and of the persons that are watching them. Just a question : did you delete your story "the spy" ? because I can't access it anymore on the site and I though it was such a sweet story in which Thrandeuil talks about an almost adult Legolas as his "last baby" Thanks Author Reply: Hi, Lady A! In what I guess is a role reversal of sorts, Legolas is trying to keep Eilian out of as much trouble as he can. Good luck on that one, Legolas. I did delete The Spy. I revised it and am submitting it to various short story magazines to see if I can entice anyone else into reading it. We'll see how that goes. Maybe it will reappear sometime if I give up. daw | |
| Naneth | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/20/2016 |
| Hooray, an update! Interesting developments. The thought of a mouth on the jewelry makes me feel slightly nauseous. I hope that Adar can remain calm until things are explained. Author Reply: Thranduil is one of those scary people who can talk calmly while he's ready to slit someone's throat. So we'll see! Just one more chapter, sadly enough. I think I'll finish it today. Good to see you, Naneth. | |
| obsidianj | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/19/2016 |
| Oh, oh... These charms are speaking? That doesn't sound good. Luckily, Eilian loves his baby brother very much, or the situation could have gotten really bad. I hope it is not too late to do something about them. Author Reply: Luckily, the Elvenking is not wearing a charm and isn't like to. The next (and sadly last) chapter is from Thranduil's POV. | |
| sofia | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/18/2016 |
| Poor Eilian- I hope he doesn't do anything rash about Gelmir. And if he does, hopefully Maltanaur will be there to keep him from killing himself! And I KNEW there was something fishy about those earrings and the merchant. Seems very magic-y, getting people to act differently. What purpose does that serve? Probably not anything good! I wonder does the necklaces- or rather the easterling merchant who is paying Camil- have anything to do with Gelmir being missing? Part of me is thinking not but part of me is still suspicious. Can't wait for the next chapter! Author Reply: Maltanaur will make sure he's there. When I created the bodyguard characters, I didn't realize how much I'd come to enjoy writing them. Tolkien always seemed to me to be interested in how people are defeated not just by external forces but by internal emotions and impulses. That's what the Nazgul are about really. So I'm playing with that a little here. Thanks for the review, sofia. Always good to hear from you. | |
| curiouswombat | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/18/2016 |
| Oh -ho! They really do need to talk to Adar. The Eastern merchant sounds as if he may be more than he seems. Author Reply: They're on their way. The next chapter will be from Thranduil's POV, which is always fun to write. | |
| asms2 | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/16/2016 |
| They figured it out! The trinkets can speak? Is it an out loud voice or something that messes with their minds? I wonder what the angle is here for Camil/the Easterling Merchant. Giving out so many at the same party increases the odds that someone will notice that something is off and connect the dots. Also just giving them away instead of selling them would seem to raise suspicion when the elves stop to think about what is happening. I can't wait to see Thranduil's reaction to this!! Poor Eilian finding out about Glimir in that way while he was under the influnce of the earing. Maybe Thranduil will be a little more forgiving to Eilian's reaction once he realizes what is happening. Can't wait to read more! Author Reply: The voice is inside their heads. It speaks to whatever weaknesses the listener has. One person who's weakness is showing is the merchant who's so eager for money that he's trying too obviously. It turns out that when you play on someone's weakness, you can't always predict what they'll do. I was very happy to show that Eilian's love for Legolas outweighed what the voice was whispering to him. One more chapter, I think. Thank you for sticking with it. | |
| PSW | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 11/16/2016 |
| Well, this is a big old stinking mess... Thranduil is going to roast them alive -- hopefully *after* they have a chance to tell him about the charms (charms w mouths on them = creepy :-P). I'm a little surprised they were both able to calm down enough to work through what was happening, but I suppose Eilian had taken his off by this point...and yes, this is Legolas, who does seem to get the best of what Eilian has to offer even when no one else does. Ah, baby brothers... Hoth and Jardin continue to be a bit of a mystery...but I'm thinking the charms have been working on them too. This occurred to me literally as I'm typing this...but Jardin started to eat only after she gave her charm to Eilian -- is it telling her she's fat and unattractive, or some such? And I'm sure it's working on Hoth (and possibly even Camil?) in some way. Hmm... Given that this is all coming from an Easterling merchant, it can only mean trouble... I would bet the Elf who got drunk and ran along the roofs in Esgaroth was wearing one at the time, too... Can't wait for Thranduil to find out! ;-) I'm enjoying, thanks for writing... Author Reply: I figured Legolas's charm was in his pocket, not near his ear, so he was more or less normal crazy teenaged boy. But Eilian came through for Legolas before he took the charm off, which speaks to his powerful love for Legolas. Thranduil is about ready to roast someone already. He just has to find a target. :-) Thank you for sticking with the story | |