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| A Small and Passing Thing by Lindelea | 6 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 4/25/2023 |
| The dream was a shock, and no mistake! And Frodo is as safe as he can be, surrounded by many of the High Elves who love him, not to mention Bilbo and Gandalf. Yes, a high sense of relief for Freddy and Budgie. Good enough! | |
| Antane | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 9/3/2011 |
| What a wonderful twist! Thank you! *hugs* Perhaps indeed Frodo will survive now. Namarie, God bless, Antane :) | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 4/16/2005 |
| Oh, I have wanted to read this chapter for SO long! I wrote it dxifferently, of course! | |
| ????? | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 11/12/2003 |
| Okay, well done. I think if you decide to get rid of chapters 65 and 66, though, you'll have to change chapter 67 a bit, because without the plot there's no reason for Freddy and Budgie to be so worried about getting to Bag End "in time." I'll admit I was getting a little worried that you were going to take a major departure from canon and not have Frodo sail in time, but you've pulled it off splendidily. This story is about finished right? It still says "In Progress" but from the feel of it, it can't have more than chapter or two left, because everything's pretty well wrapped up. This story is quite well written for a draft. I'm sure it will be even better once you've revised it, and I wish you luck with the revision process! Author Reply: Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement. The story will now go on the back burner as an "edited draft" while I write something else to get it out of my system, and I will revise when I can look at it with fresh eyes, or if a beta reader agrees to take it on, whichever comes first. I'm posting it to ffnet now, and a little necessary revision is being done, but I'm sure it could use more time than I have to give it at the moment. | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 11/12/2003 |
| As if Freddy wasn't anxious enough, his plan is going all wrong. Delay and tension - you want to get out of the waggon and push the ponies faster. He's not even trying to think up a new plan to explain to Sam - he's just trying to make it in time to save Frodo. I wonder if there's even a little corner that's a bit relieved that it will be impossible to decieve Sam away from his master's illness, and allow him to help the fight and say his goodbye. And it's very dedicated of Budgie to press on without even mentioning the pain of his newly broken arm, to try to save Frodo who he's not even related to (and Freddy as well, who he does love like family). He's a very dedicated healer. Then the word that Frodo's gone. In his grief, does he not wonder why nobody but him is upset? If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny. Now everyone will hover over Freddy - he's had a shock. Will Sam be smart enough to wonder why Freddy jumped to the conclusion that Frodo is dead, and pry the story out of him? Did Frodo leave a note for Freddy explaining what happened, or is the birthday present his last communication? You know, I just thought of something. You could even move the dratted dream to after this chapter, because it wouldn't matter now that everyone knows what really happened. But I still want the dream to end peacefully somehow, as a reassurance that Frodo really is all right - unless you really don't want the happy ending, and you want us to always wonder if he made it through this day or not. Another thing I keep forgetting to mention. Many chapters back, in a reply to a review of one of the pauses, you said Sam still has a decision to make with Elanor. So close to the end now, I thought I should be able to figure out what that's about, but so far no clue! Another loose end - I'm rooting for Freddy to marry Meliot Brandybuck, but I can't remember if that ever happens. Has it been written that way? One last little thing - you use the word 'jerked' three times in two paragraphs near the middle of the story, which caught my eye. My English teachers were always on me to vary word choice, and I'm usually pretty bad at it, though it's not typical of you. Author Reply: Drat, have lost that post-it note. I may have to re-read the Pauses to figure out what I intended that decision to be... JRRT doesn't mention anywhere I've found whom Freddy marries, or Mellie, for that matter, or even dates of death or childrens' names, so I think I've a free rein here. Thanks, I noticed that repetition of "jerk" as well, but was lazily waiting for my editor to call it to my attention before fixing it. (in a contrary mood, does it show? Guess I'm being a jerk. Ha.) | |
| Tim the Enchanter | Reviewed Chapter: 67 on 11/12/2003 |
| I love Freddy's perspective on this. What a relief to him to go to attend a death and find that Frodo has found healing - even if it means they won't see each other again. At least he won't have to bury his cousin and knows he is safe. Author Reply: Yes, if Frodo had just sailed away, Freddy would be upset (as I was, the first few times I read "The Grey Havens"), but the added invention of Frodo's fatal illness (fatal in ME, not where he's gone) reconciles me to his departure, and Freddy as well. Thanks for reviewing! | |