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| The White Horse and the White Banner by Chigger | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Lisbeth K. | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/19/2003 |
| I don't think any of the speeches were too long esp. Ceorl's letter. They expressed each persons love. Ceorl's letter was so tender and romantic but still respectful. I loved this chapter. It gripped all of my emotions. Well done!!! Author Reply: So glad you liked it! I'm not very good at love letters and such. The idea was forged in my mind from the French moive version of Cyrano de Bergerac, actually, if you want the truth. :) I didn't copy it, but I tried to write like he did. That was a great movie! | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/17/2003 |
| I thought this entire chapter was beautiful and very touching. I wouldn't change a thing. The letter was amazing. Everyone should get a letter like that at some time in their lives. I also loved the way you used the scene from the movie with your reference to the women and children in the caves. I kept picturing Peter Jackson's son as I read the father's tale. LOL Very well done. Author Reply: I actually have a kid down in the caves picked out to be Aldor. He's a real cutie pie and looks to be about the right age, big blue eyes and all. I don't know which one is PJ's son, but I know his daughter was one of the little hobbit kids. I'm not sure when "Aldor" is shown, even though we just picked him out . . . last night was it? Or the night before? My memory has been going lately. Maybe I need more sleep. Hang in there, and thanks for the feedback! | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/14/2003 |
| Another well done chapter. I agree that some things seemed a bit long, but I also realize the need for information. My only advice is to try to cut anthing redundant, even similar, out. For instance, Aldor only needs to mention he was 5 once. Anyway, it is good that you go to such lengths to give us even the tiniest details. It's much, MUCH better than reading a story like "He went there. He fought. The end." I had many instances like that in "A Commoner Amongst Lords," and I am still working on fleshing those parts out. I will be looking forward to future chapters. Don't ever give up writing, though, whether for lack of reviews or otherwise. I've gotten 6 total for ACAL, 1 for "Children of the Commoner," 4 for "Love and War," and I won't even go into my others. I know it's tough, believe me I know, but don't give up. At least you have people at home that support you. That's a luxury I don't have. Eomer of Eastfold Author Reply: I thank you, Eomer, Third Marshal of the Riddermark, for your kind words. I tried extremely hard to show that Ceorl and Aldor were very close. In a world of split homes, I wanted my characters to be a close and loving family, even closer than my own. I also thought it would be interesting to see the Battle of Helm's Deep from the point of view of one of those cute little kids down in the Glittering Caves. I thought of having Legolas also interact with Aldor as a little kid, but let's not get carried away. Hey, maybe Aldor even saw Eodreng! This chapter spent a lot of time on my floppy-disk in its blah, skeletal form before I went back through and "put some meat on its bones." I try very hard not to write those "He did this, he did that" stories. Dialogue is so hard to write, though! I never thought putting words in someone else's mouth would be so difficult. The next chapter is in its very, very early stages. I really don't know what's going to happen in the middle, or when it will be posted. The beginning is almost finished, but that's about as far as I've gotten. Five days into the battle, and there's still quite a bit to go. | |