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| A Perilous Journey to Lorien by LadyJaina | 2 Review(s) |
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| periannore | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/31/2022 |
| No matter how absorbed you must be in bringing your own story to life you continually link it to its source, to Tolkien. It may seem obvious but it still pleased me so much when you wrote: a scout of galadhrim creeping up on the perimeter, silent and deadly. Their gray cloaks made them almost invisible in the darkness and rain. Those cloaks would be like the ones the fellowship was given before setting out from Lorien and the near invisibility they provided would be a little like the invisibility from using the ring but without the dangers it imposed on the user. I could feel Aragorn's dread when he spotted Merry's knife/sword: The blade was covered in black blood. It was Merry's—he would recognize it anywhere. He swallowed bile, almost afraid to look... and it did not bode well that Merry's only weapon was no longer on his person. You sound so Tolkienish with words like it did not bode well that Merry's only weapon was not on his person. Your writing is so well thought out that there's more than one thing to say about a single sentence. The little exchange: "I think he's still in a bit of shock," Gimli rumbled quietly. "He can hear you," Merry retorted testily, was a nice touch of Gimli, Aragorn and Merry being the characters we feel so fannishly attached to, a welcome break from the ravages of the battle. The way your characters cooperate without bickering is a beautiful thing making them seem like beings you'd want to know. Not for them the "Not my job." heard in many of our work places. For example the elves came to the fireside and some lit torches and so many more helped lift the warg that they removed it in one go. To be fair they've had centuries to practice assessing what needs to be done and smoothly pitching in. On the other hand, Aragorn, having had only one lifetime to practice pre, during and post battle organization is barking orders, not in a mean way, just worried and overwhelmed, when: he unclenched hands he hadn't realized had been fisted and looked over at Foendil. "He is not the first ailing elf we've tended, Estel…we will take care of him now. Go see to your friends." It was a nice way of telling Aragorn the situation was well in hand. In common with Tolkien your writing makes me think, Not a fantasy. This is history, they were all real and all of it really happened that way." | |
| demeter d | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 11/13/2021 |
| Wow! Within the first sentence you have reminded us how very miserable the conditins are in which our heroes are trying to fight. So we are watching Aragorn this chapter. Then, you quickly slip into his perceptions and thoughts. I suspect that after this battle, his notion of what Merry is capable of will have changed! I very much enjoy your "choreography" of the fighting. And now, we get to see Legolas and Merry deal with their own warg and orc, from Aragorn and Gimli's point of view, in the flashes of lightning and in the brief flashes of attention in between fighting for their own lives! Aragorn's frantic struggle to push orcs aside so that he can get to his friends reminds me of the scene before the Black Gate in P.J.'s ROTK. Aragorn is fighting that troll, as Legolas desperately tries to go to him. Then the mountain exploded, and the fighting was over. Again, similar story threads re-woven into a new tapestry. I liked the detail of Legolas's first trying to speak to tell Aragorn where Merry was, then giving up and just turning his head and looking. Only for Aragorn to still "not get it". I would imagine when they are all at peace again, and telling the story, Legolas will give his friend some grief over his lack of perception! Then, at the end, I got a sense of relief when Merry and Aragorn both are able to overcome their mental shock enough to realize that they can tend to themselves, now. Well done! Author Reply: I thought I already replied to you--whoops. Apparently, that's what happens when you don't update for six months. Yikes! I so enjoy your reviews and insights! | |