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| Shadows Over Lasgalen by Jay of Lasgalen | 2 Review(s) |
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| mistry89 | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 4/4/2004 |
| ".. his rank of Army Commander was not merely an honorary one,.." He made it! Yay! Sorry, but I remember a wide-eyed elfling considering that too far to reach :) "He was deadly with a sword, but gifted with a harp." Well, Sam was gifted with a frypan! Sorry, I'll settle down now ... I like the way you introduce pieces of the characters real lives into the story. It isn't necessary (well, unless he soothes a warg to sleep or something later in the story), but it adds so much depth. It makes all of your stories so readable, little bits picked up that may or may not be referred to again. For example in Mid Winter's Eve you mention Legolas's spider prank, and also allude to something Elrond uses to keep snow from Imladris ... so *we* know that Thranduil knows and that Legolas might work it out for himself. The prank has assumed a life of it's own, perhaps the harpist will too ... either way it means the story has a .... um... rotundity, a 3-dimensional feel to it. By the by, speaking of other stories, have you ever considered a time-line for yours? New readers may find it fun to start at the (chronological) beginning and I know that when I re-read them (which I will, not just for coherency, but also for sheer fun!) it and read through to .... wherever it may lead. Of Aragorn:"Taniquel was looking speculative. “I think he is very good looking. I wonder - ” Legolas laughed at her. “No, Tani, he has already been spoken for! Besides, what would Tirnan say? I think it is just as well he did not come on this trip – he would be jealous!” Ah, so the flirtation with Elladan is over - I suppose it *has* been a long time What a nasty tension-filled ending this chapter has! So many enemies that they seem to be a "creeping darkeness" .... yuck! A great chapter and so much happened ... onward to those nasty orcsess! | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/12/2004 |
| As I was reading this, I was thinking about how much I admired the members of this elven patrol. They seem so capable and very elfy - at home in the forest, very self-disciplined, able to function on their own but committed to supporting one another. And the glimpse of Dol Guldur is interesting too. I have trouble picturing it. Author Reply: I think the warriors of Lasgalen (I don't think the elves would call their home Mirkwood) have had a long time fighting Dol Guldur, and have their own ways of comabting the shadow, used to working as a team. Thanks for the review - I'm glad you think the patrol are 'elfy' - it's what I try to make them! Jay | |