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| Half a Heart by Lairewen | 10 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/5/2005 |
I had a fishy feeling he wasn't Elleadan...Great work... Where has he been for the last millenum..... | |
| tmelange | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/10/2004 |
| OMG! Wow. What a cliff! Excellent story. More soon, please. | |
| Hiro-tyre | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/8/2004 |
| Augh. I'm sorry, Lairewen. I have a tendancy to lose my grip on tact, and be remorsefully left behind while it scampers off into the distance. I apologize for coming on as a flamer yesterday. I truly did not mean to criticize your story as harshly as I undoubtedly did. I was chiefly bothered by the fact that I had pegged this story as entirely AU, meaning that Elrohir was definately dead, and that he was not returning ever. After all, I reasoned, how could he spend a millenia away from home and still be alive? Even Elu Thingol was not away from his Teleri that long, and many of them were quite convinced that he was dead. So firmly convinced was I that when it appeared that Elrohir had indeed returned, I in my arrogance decided that since such an event was not possible, the fault must lie with you, the writer. And since my Tact tends to run off whilst I am distracted with Arrogance, I immediately posted a sizzling review. Please allow me the opportunity to attempt to rectify the situation. I shall indeed wait to read your next post, since I am obviously in no position to criticize the effectiveness of a plot-ploy not yet read. I shall respectfully maintain that a thousand years does seem rather long to be AWOL; rest assured that I am eager to see how you explain this. If I were to offer you a solution to what seems to me an implausible length of time, might I suggest that a mere century might suffice to provide a suitable period of quasi-death for Elrohir, and mourning for Elladan. This may conflict with the your plot developments and explaination of Elrohir's absence, in which case you are totally within your rights to ignore my suggestion. But- and here I must advocate the 100 year concept- it occurs to me that it is theoretically possible for an elf to be somehow detained from returning to his home and family for a century, especially if he could not escape from his captors, having been spirited off to some far distant-- An idea has just occurred to me. Perhaps Elrohir truly died, was reborn from Mandos in Valinor, returned over the sea and only recently fell in with the orcs. Yes...yes, that seems to me to be perfectly possible. Well, as far as the question of rebirth and return is known to me, although I would question the Valar's willingness to send a ship eastward on the Straight Way, and not west. Olorin and Curunir were the only exceptions to this ban since the world was bent, or so I believe. Still... If this turns out not to be the case, may I please keep my claim on this plot bunny? Anyway... what was I saying about 100 years? It doesn't matter. I still maintain that 'Okay' is not a perfectly suitable method of admitting one's aquiescence or wellbeing in Middle-earth. However, the issue of using appropriately formal language is one easily solved. All you need to do is not use contractions such as "don't" and "can't," say 'all right' instead of 'okay,' and attempt no modern slang. Tolkien wrote the Lord of the Rings as if it were translated from the Westron Red Book of Westmarch; thus, any slang of that age would have been difficult, if not impossible, to translate into modern slang. So, in keeping with this assumption, Tolkien adapted what may have been expressed as slang in M-E era into the normal, even formal language of today. Well, that was stuffy. I apologise. However, you did imply that when criticizing, the criticism must be well thought out, and accompanied with suggestions for improvement. *Winks cheekily* You've brought this upon yourself! I think that I have failed to make it clear to you how much I like this story. I especially loved the first two chapters, where Elladan was grieving all the time, but his love for Estel helped him through it. Your portrayal of that grief was very well done, and was a mighty success at tugging the heartstrings. Young Estel was absolutely adorable, and Elrond quite believable in his Father/Lord role. Your company of Rangers, and Estel's character as their leader, are likewise well done. I cannot wait to see more of these characters. Again, let me reiterize how sorry I am for giving you the wrong sort of review yesterday. I've had some issues with Tact and flames in the past, and I've been making a conscious effort to reform my ways. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to reading your next post. | |
| Lossenchristal | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/8/2004 |
| Oh my gosh!!!!!! You took me totally by surprise!! I have been following your story, and I really like it, but I had just thought this was a new kind of story with only one twin! Wow! I really was shocked! I never expected it! Awesome! I can't wait for the next chapter! Hurry please! Still slightly dazed;) Lossenchristal | |
| grumpy | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/8/2004 |
| hi there, just wanted to tell you how much i am enjoying your story. Liked the part where Elledan uses his brothers wisdom to get Estel to cont. with his bow practice. Glad that Elrohiir is back, is he? looking forward to more | |
| Yuna_Dax | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/7/2004 |
| WOOHOO , lovely angst, lovely action, and lovely Elladan angst:):) I eagerly await the next chapter | |
| Iawen Londea | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/7/2004 |
| WHAT! How dare you leave it there! I demand the next chapter! I so called that Aragorn would find Elrohir, did I not! *maniacal cheering* Oh, btw, I loved what you added about Elrond still greiving as well. =D ~Sparx~ | |
| FirstMate | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/7/2004 |
| Oh, very nice! I was eyeing this story, hoping for something like this to happen. I do not like death fics, and so originally wasn't going to read more. But you have a great writing style and I kept looking at the story, hoping that somehow Elrohir would return (the fact that his body was never found planted that seed of hope). Anyway, I'm really enjoying your story and can't wait to see a reunion between the twins! | |
| finafyr | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/7/2004 |
| I am enjoying your writing style.. and am eagerly awaiting the next chapter of this story.. I am very picky about my LOTR stories. and you are very good.. keep up the good work.. Finafyr | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/7/2004 |
| Yikes! I didn't see *that* coming! I did think you'd been a bit abrupt in letting Elladan be found like that before we knew he'd been captured - but still! Can Elrohir really be alive? Where has he been all this time? Or does Elladan think *he's* Elrohir? I'm intrigued, and puzzled. Please update soon! Jay | |