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Pearl of Great Price  by Lindelea 4 Review(s)
eilujReviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004
I think this chapter is fine. What has occurred is as clear as it can be at this point. I don't know if it was the boar hunt or Lalia's accident or the description of the returning hobbits that you were most worried about, but I think it all works.

I always hate it when authors introduce wild boars into their stories ... it's so rarely that all the characters emerge unscathed (it's like a red flag with "Tragedy Ahead!"). Even Big People with the proper weapons and training are seriously at risk -- how much worse the danger for the much smaller hobbits....

Author Reply: You always hate it when authors introduce wild boars into their stories?

I haven't run across any since (what was it? am taking a stab here as I cannot remember for sure) "Old Yeller".

You mean I didn't think of it first? (that is, after the author of "Old Yeller" or whatever it was)

Well, wild swine are a fact of life and have to be dealt with, so I imagine no matter what the outcome or the losses the hobbits will prevail in the end. They cannot leave a sounder of swine to menace travellers and ruin crops.

Thanks for the feedback!

FantasyFanReviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004
Oh, how terrible! Poor Lalia! As awful as she was sometimes, her strength and her devotion to her son was something that could be admired. And to die thinking the worst had happened, that her son was dead. Poor Pearl! There will be a lot for her to deal with - Lalia's death and the Talk about her part of it, the loss of Isembold, and her promise to Ferumbras, on top of the trouble of her family. On emercy - with all that has happened, there certainly will not be an announcement at tea. Poor Isembold! The escort has pledged to protect the Thain with their own lives, and that is what it has come to here. Poor Ferumbras! To have someone die for you leaves such a heavy burden. And the sudden death of a parent, so hard for anyone to bear - shock piled upon shock. And who is the hobbit on the pony - is it Verilard? (I'm making the assumption that both Isembold and the other hobbit are dead, otherwise they would be hurrying back.)

I don't blame Pearl for fainting. There's just too much at once for her. I think that this is very realistic-sounding. The only thing I wonder about is something that you can't change, since it's canon. Why did the Tooks have stairs to the doorway of the Great Smials? Enough stairs that you could fall down and break your neck? I know that the Smials are built into a large hill, but a long flight of steps doesn't seem too hobbity to me.

I like the contrast of the ordinary bustle of the day at the Smials coming right after the drama of the charge of the boar. I think my favorite line is, "a flock of other sheep to be herded in the proper direction for the smooth running of the Great Smials". You know something is coming, but there is a deceptive calm before the storm. At least Lalia's last day is spent in contentment, and she is focused on beauty right before the end. Now for the fallout!

Author Reply: Yes, I have often thought about those stairs. In my first few fics I actually had all the entrances to the Smials at ground-level, but after reading the JRRT letter that detailed Lalia's demise, I had to do a bit of revision. Now I have all the "other" or lesser entrances at ground-level and only the Grand Door with a set of wide stairs leading up to it.

As to the rest of your questions, all I can say is that the cloak-shrouded hobbit on the pony is indeed dead, though his identity is to be revealed in the next chapter. Do you know how hard it is to describe a body laid across a saddle, face-down? I can see it clearly but cannot write it in a way that sounds right.

You do not know how hard it was to write Lalia's demise! I hate hobbits dying!

You're right, there's quite a bit of fallout due in the next chapter. (putting up umbrella)

Author Reply: p.s. thanks for taking the time to review!

ConnieReviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004
Oh, Blast! I had this long comment started and I did something that caused my computer to eat the darn thing as a snack.

Anyway, I loved this chapter. I never thought Lalia's end would come this way. Very clever of you to make Pearl totally innocent of wrongdoing. Now the question will be, will the Tooks see her as innocent?

I just had this vision of life in the Great Smials being like living in one of our soap operas. Now that's a scary thought.

Connie.

Author Reply: Naughty computer, give it back! Play nice! (Drat. And I do so love long comments.)

Thanks. This chapter was actually the seed that the rest of the story grew from. I've always known Pearl had to be innocent, and that the accusations of "clumsy attendant" were simply unkind outgrowth of the Talk of the Tooks. And of course it would be unthinkable for Lalia's death to have been deliberate on her part... so though she has plenty of motive in the eyes of the Tooks (considering the Ban on her father, and the fact that they wouldn't know she's taken care of the problem by arranging to marry the Thain), the readers all know what *really* happened, as the story summary promised from the first...

Lyta PadfootReviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004
I thought it sounded very believable, especially Pearl's detachment. I felt sorry for Lalia thinking her son was hurt or dead. Its the mark of a god writer that I pity the character, almost like her, and then want to wring her neck. I believe Fantasy Fan noted in a review of a previous chapter that you foreshadowed Pippin and the boar - but a second incident is a well-done twist. I hope Isumbold will survive, I like him.

Author Reply: O good, glad it sounded believable. It is hard, after so much research, not to show off and throw in a whole bunch of boar-hunting technical terms just to show I did my homework, but I restrained myself (and secretly hope that I did not make an awkward blunder in spite of it all).

I'm glad you liked the old harridan. I was rather fond of her myself, warts and all. We all have warts, after all; some of us just hide them better than others.

Thanks for the words of praise. Since the boar-hunt with the result of that badly injured hobbit wrapped in the Thain's cloak was the seed of this story, it had to be carefully set-up so as not to come seemingly "out of the blue". Glad it is seen as foreshadowing and a plot twist! (and not too heavy-handed or obvious). And if you notice, I foreshadowed not only Pippin and the boar, but Isum and the boar as well, all in one little table conversation.

Doesn't take much to make me happy under the influence of cold meds. (OTOH, doesn't take much to make me flounder in insecurity, either. Hah. Toddling back to the couch now.)

Sometimes I amaze even myself. (Han Solo, puffed up by success)
That doesn't sound too hard. (Princess Leia, spoken with heavy irony)

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