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| Heir To Buckland by Anso the Hobbit | 1 Review(s) |
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| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/18/2004 |
| Very real! The onset of the illness sounded authentic. Two little nitpicks, if it's not too much trouble... you have some control codes (greater-than and a symbol and less-than) in the text. you might want to edit them out. I'm not very clear on the tray Frodo brought to Merry for breakfast. I had the impression he was carrying it down the hallway to Merry's room, but then he ran to the bed, knelt and took Merry's hand. And then Esmeralda told him to go and get the tray. I had trouble forming a picture of this part of the story. Did Frodo make up the tray and then leave it somewhere while he went to see if Merry was awake? Author Reply: Thank you for letting me know, I`ll fix the codes then. About Frodo and the breakfast tray, he leaves it just outside Merry`s door and when seeing Merry ill in bed, he leaves it there and then rushes to the bedside. | |