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| Serious Trouble by The Karenator | 13 Review(s) |
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| Leaward | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/6/2005 |
| I know I'm coming late to the party, but Karen! What a story! "How much more dull can one get than memorizing Lays about gushy love stories? I did not think anything could be worse until I sat through this meal." What a typical reaction from a youngster! 'gushy love stories indeed!' Daeron and the Spider story, LMAO! Even Aldamir gets sent to the hall! And Lalaith as well, You literally had me laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks! OH, Shoot! And even Thranduil! Poor poor Daeron. "..he was trying to decipher a passage of Common Tongue. (Now, there is a language that has no rhyme or reason! It is about as pleasing to the ear as a blade scrapped across stone.)" Since I'm writing about the differences between the two languages I love this analogy! I'm really looking forward to continuing to read this story .. now I've started I don't think I'm going to be able to stop until I'm done! Author Reply: Oh my goodness! I can't believe you're reading this! You're so sweet to go to this much trouble. And review, too! Daeron and the spiders go back a long way. He's never been a fan of the beasties. Even the little garden ones. I drew on personal experience for this scene and his phobia. I wouldn't say I'm terribly phobic, but I do try to keep a respectful distant from spiders. Bite me once.... I remember reading somewhere that English sounds grating to people who are not native speakers. It lacks the flow and beauty of some of the other languages of the world. I suppose compared to oh, say, French, English sounds rather like a fingernails on a blackboard. Then to compare it to Sindarin, I thought English must really sound rough. In the movies, I thought the spoken Sindarin was beautiful. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this and really touched that you took the time to go back and read it. Thanks again. Karen | |
| MetuSa | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/17/2004 |
| This has got to be one of the funniest things that I've read in a loooonnnngggg time! I laughed so hard with the whole spider incident, I almost couldn't finish the chapter! Being somewhat phobic of spiders myself, I can truly imagine the horror of that nasty prank! ;-) Author Reply: Okay!! Welcome, sister of the spider fright! I can draw a great deal on personal experience when it comes to talking about eight-legged horrors! I was bitten by one once on the shoulder, and the ensuing slowly, creeping numbness across my back and chest was quite a treat. The emergency room bill was enough to finish me off. I'm so glad you enjoyed the prank played on Daeron. Legolas sure did. I really appreciate you taking the time to review. :>) Karen | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/13/2004 |
| Your technologically-impaired Ranger friend apologizes for her tardiness in reviewing, but was, as I'm sure you can undersand, reluctant to post from the Fishbowl of Doom again after the disastrous results last time. She further reports that she can't actually vouch for this effort either, as the welcome absence of prying eyes on the home front is currently offset by a lethal concentration of toxic paint fumes. Further, the Ranger feels a renewed empathy for Daeron after spending the entire day hauling phone cable around a thoroughly spider-infested crawlspace, attempting, in the least efficient way possible, she is sure, to run an extension to the room where the computer will be moving. Ranger wishes to note for the sake of young Daeron, by the way, that spiders have nothing, absolutely nothing, on centipedes in the heebie-jeebie department. The residents of Middle Earth should be extremely grateful that Frodo didn't run into a 15-foot-long centipede on the way to Mordor... Swell chapter, Queenie! The mix of humor and suspense is perfect. You hit Thranduil just right again ("As we all know"). I'm really enjoying seeing the characters' personalities come to light. You've done a great job with both Daeron and Legolas. Sometimes it's tricky to write children, but these two have very distinct and engaging personalities. We see glimpses of the adults they will become without forgetting for a minute that they're kids. I loved the dinner table scene. The only thing missing was Darwinion shooting out of somebody's nose. Author Reply: Oh my goodness, you didn't run into a 15-foot-long centipede on your way to the dining room, did you? But ya know, you could have just tied the cord to him and let him drag it for you. I guess you didn't think of this because you were a little dizzy from the toxic paint fumes. Next time, Ranger, next time. And you might can get a spot on 'Ripley's Believe It or Not'. I can see the headlines: "Ranger saves Frodo from giant centipede". Thanks for the kind words about the chapter. I think Elven children are a bit different than your average age-equivalent human kid. They have already lived two and a half times the years of the human child, and therefore, have more life experience. And they have had the benefit of being raised by centuries-old adults, unlike human children who have been born to teenagers and young adults, who were also raised by young parents, who were raised by young parents...you get the picture. But elflings are still children of their own people. I see them as being a bit more learned in the ways of existence, but still children in maturation. While Tolkien said elflings needed little guidance, I can't help but think that they were still learning and still childlike in many ways and were not just miniature adults. Finding the balance between years lived and age-appropriate maturity has been a challenge. I'm not sure how well I've done, but I'm gratified that you find their personalities emerging and the little guys individually distinct. The dinner scene. Dad gummit! I can't believe I didn't think to have wine shooting out of Aldamir's nose! What a great idea. I'll just file that away for future use. Thanks again, Mangy Ranger, for all your help and encouragement. Anyone who can stand down a 15-foot centipede, I want on my team. :>) Karen | |
| Still Anonymous | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/13/2004 |
| This is absolutely hilarious! You certainly have a way with words. I just love Daeron. The spider incident was great. I can really sympathize with Daeron when the spider crawled down his arm (because that happened to *me* once) and then the lock of hair falls over his shoulder and scares him! LOL! Daeron has a unique perspective on things. When I review a story, I usually quote some of my favorite lines, but I can't do that here because there were too many! I'll definitely be waiting for more! Still Anonymous Author Reply: Still Anonymous, I'm so pleased that you are enjoying the story. Daeron has been a great deal of fun for me to write. I can't imagine that the Elves didn't have a good sense of humor; after all, they were supposed to be a merry lot! But, we didn't get to see what was going on in their heads when Tolkien wrote about them. But then again, Tolkien probably would not have seen them being as irreverent as I do. There is humor everywhere if we just look, and I think Daeron has a keen eye for the absurd. I know what you mean about finding a spider crawling around on you. The scene was a shoe-in for me since I share many of Daeron's feelings about the little monsters. I try to appreciate their place in the order of things, but I want them to go do their thing somewhere where I am not! Mutual respect? Thanks again. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Chapter Three soon, I hope. :>) Karen | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/13/2004 |
| Daeron is a most hilarious character - he just comes to life so vividly through your words. He will never live down The Great Spider Incident, and I must admit to laughing to see the crown prince having to leave the room at Thranduil's command. I see a mystery brewing, intruders, approaching the kingdom and the elves are smart to realize that they may be just a decoy. I am torn between what should be told to the elflings - they have proven they are quite able to get into trouble, and so should be told nothing; yet if this is true danger, they are old enough to follow orders and be useful. Why is it I think they will choose trouble? Oh, perhaps the name of the story has tipped me off....*grin* Author Reply: Hi Nilmandra, Yes, I think you're right; Daeron will never live down the Great Spider Incident. He is probably going to be still hearing about it on the blessed shores. Aldamir and Seregon are good guys. They're just so focused on their jobs and the seriousness of keeping the realm safe, they fail to take time to play a bit. I think Daeron is naturally a riot, but everyone losing control probably speaks as much of the adults needing a release of all the pent-up stress, as it was to the humor of the event. To be honest, I'm a little torn between what should be told to the elflings about the threat of the mysterious men, too. On one hand, they are awfully young and I think the parents are simply following a 'rule of thumb' to leave the kids out of the fearful watches the adults take. They don't want to worry the youngsters. On the other hand, telling them enough to make them feel included couldn't hurt and possibly would relieve some of their anxieties. Being in the dark can make one's imagination run wild! And Daeron does have a good imagination. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I just got a notice that another chapter of 'Hunting' has been posted. I'm really impressed with those of you who can work on your stories AND find time to review. I'm way behind in my reviewing. I'll do better, I promise. Thanks again for such a wonderful review. Karen | |
| Celeb | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2004 |
| I almost did a Legolas with this one, sitting as I as on a swivel chair which did not react well to hysterical laughter. Hilarious episode. I loved the different reactions of the family as they struggled to control themselves, particularly Aldamir and Seregon. I also really enjoyed the way in this chapter, the reader gets to see the coming of possible conflict from a child's POV. Great story, Your Majesty. When do we get more? Celeb Author Reply: Hi Celeb, I think the whole family (except Legolas, of course) was trying hard not to lose their composure, but Daeron is so over the top anyway, he was just too funny for them to make it. Aldamir and Seregon are so serious all the time, it was fun to see them out of control with laughter. When the men do show up, I think the little ones get an opportunity to see a side of life they have never known and to try and make sense of it. Life often doesn't make sense to adults, but it's especially baffling for a child. Thanks again, fair one. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing. I hope to have Chapter Three up soon. Take care, Karen | |
| Lindorien | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2004 |
| These are really delightful characters, Karenator! I'm enjoying this story. Like the boys, I want to know what the deal is with these men unusually skilled in woodcraft. Must tell you - I kept giggling over the name of Orocarni - You are so knowledgable in Elf-stuff, it probably has a very rich history, that name, but all I kept thinking was: Orocarni - Ah. He must be one of them Sicilian Elves. Lindorien Author Reply: Lindorien, Thanks for the kind words, O'Scribe. Yes, these men are different than any our wood elves have ever met before. They will be an eye-opener for the little ones. Things are not always black and white. Orocarni, a Sicilian Elf! LOL! It does sound a bit like a pasta dish, doesn't it? Perhaps you, being such a wonderful cook, could create a dish named after the archery master. Orzo and a nice rich sauce. Orocarni is Quenya for 'red mountains'. A nice tomato based sauce? Ah, a dish you can't refuse! Thanks again. I'm so pleased you're enjoying the story. See ya soon, fair scribe, Karen | |
| LOTR lover | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2004 |
| Karenator, that was terrific! Daeron is a wonderful character and a wonderful storyteller as well. You did a fine job in this chapter of moving from the cousins' disgust at being confined to the "baby area" to the utter hilarity of Daeron's spider incident to the overheard menace of the encroachment of men into the realm. I thought I'd stifle myself reading about the spider incident! My poor husband was taking a nap on the sofa not 10 feet from where I was reading and I was doing my best not to howl out loud at poor Daeron's plight. And I had just managed to hold it down to a quiet snicker when the lock of hair fell over his shoulder and I went off again. Having everyone in the room have to leave the table one by one was inspired. Happily following the story, Judy (LOTR lover) Author Reply: Hi Judy, Thank you so much for a great review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. I've really enjoyed the little scamps and seeing Mirkwood from their point of view. For the spider scene I drew on personal experience. I have never been a fan of the eight-legged menaces. We have a mountain house, and several years ago I took my sons and a bunch of their friends up there for a few days. When we arrived, we found the house had been invaded by wolf spiders, literlly the size of the palm of your hand. These big teenage boys were a hoot! I was frozen in my tracks! New spiders were discovered all night long. I didn't sleep a wink! The men are a scary bunch, but their presence will give the elflings a new perspective on the world. There are simply no easy answers in life. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I truly appreciate you taking the time and letting me know you enjoyed it. I hope to have Chapter Three up soon. Karen | |
| Kitt of Lindon | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2004 |
| Ah, great chapter! Even though I felt sorry for Daeron in the spider incident, I could not help but to explode with laughter. I liked the description of Daeron's archery lesson. It was very acurate with the sensation one feels using the bow. I am dying of curiousity as to what those Men want. Update soon! Please? Author Reply: Hi Kitt, I think the adults did feel a bit sorry for Daeron, but I also think he's just so naturally funny that they couldn't help themselves. I imagine the look on his face and the way he reacted was just too much and everyone fell apart. He has a tendency to be a bit over the top anyway. I appreciate the kind comment about the archery lesson. I've always been interested in archery but I've never taken any lessons. I applied the baseball pitching visualization method to the bow and the scene was what I got. (My youngest son is a pitcher, and my oldest son is a catcher. They never ever practive together!) I imagine the same sort of concentration is nearly the same in all sports. I'm so gratified that you found it credible. Thank you. The men have not disappeared, and they will show back up. I hope to have Chapter Three up soon. Thanks again, Kitt. Your review means a lot to me. Karen | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2004 |
| In this chapter,I was absolutely with the youngsters. I wanted to know what was in that message! You built your suspense well and it works, I think, because of your use of first person there. You really let us experience what it felt like to be them, to see that something in going on and not know what it is. I liked Daeron's characterization of their restricted area as the "baby area." Legolas was very bad to put that spider on his poor cousin who had trusted him and confided in him! I was originally thinking "boys!" but then the whole family got in on the act. It's actually nice to see some hilarity in the royal family. And why is it that Daeron is so afraid of spiders but can pick up beetles? How nice for Legolas and especially Daeron to hear themselves well spoken of by the masters. Legolas really shows himself as Thranduil's son at the end. Author Reply: Well, let's see, your dawness. We might can make a little exchange of information. I'll prompt Aldamir to reveal to you what is in his 'personal' letter if you speak to Eilian... :>) That Legolas! What a scamp! Who knew? Since Legolas and Daeron have grown up together, I think they are more like siblings than cousins. And you know how devious a well-armed sibling can be when given an opportunity. Yes, Daeron made a mistake in confiding in his 'tricksy' cousin. The whole family decorum fell apart when Daeron did. I would so hope that there was laughter in the House of Thranduil. As for how could Daeron be so free with a Lady bug when he was terrified of spiders? As one who knows, I can assure you, they are different! Very different. Besides, I imagine if one was going to be phobic about something creepy in Mirkwood, what better choice than spiders? I keep wondering what Daeron will do when he comes face to face with the big boys out in forest. Even though these two are young, they know what will be their fate as warriors. Or they think they know. If Thranduil has taught them nothing else (and he's trying, bless his heart) he has given to them a great love of these woods and her people. Even Legolas and Daeron are devoted and protective. Though their perspectives are still childlike, they want to do what they can to help. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope the following chapters won't disappoint. I've truly had a great time with these little whippersnappers. Karen | |