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| Shadows Over Lasgalen by Jay of Lasgalen | 6 Review(s) |
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| Lianna | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 10/18/2004 |
| I read the earlier version of this story on ff.net a while back, and I was curious to see what you had done with it. I think that the changes are a definite improvement. I especially liked seeing Thranduil being the one to talk to Legolas in the final chapter. A couple of very minor points: Chapter 2. There's a line that says "Leaving his five companions concealed in the trees..." It should be four companions. There are six in the patrol. Elentia is elsewhere. Legolas is leaving. That means four are left. Chapter 7. "Legolas, by some miracle still clinging to Pavisel's back..." Nope. I can't remember what horse he's riding at that point, but it's not Pavisel. The fact that Pavisel isn't carrying a rider is the reason why Tirnan and Thranduil briefly think that Legolas is missing, right? I hope you'll forgive the nitpicking. This is a very good story that gives us all a good appreciation of just how difficult life was for the warriors of Mirkwood toward the end of the Third Age. It's just that I'm an editor by profession, and nitpicking is what I do for a living. Author Reply: You're quite right. I haven't looked at this story for some time, but should have picked up those slips before. I've changed them both. There were only four elves left after Legolas went off, and he should have been riding Elentia's horse when the orcs attacked and Mithrandir saved them. As you say, it was the fact that he wasn't riding his own horse that worried Thranduil so much. Thank you for picking this up - and for reading the story! Jay | |
| Hisie Lome | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/7/2004 |
| Well done and thank you. Again you have shown much attention to character, plot, and details. Mina Seth, Hisie Lome | |
| mistry89 | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/4/2004 |
| Excellent story. I've scattered enough comments about to sink a ship and it's one o'clock in the morning (a Monday morning, what's worse!) Thank you for entertaining me for far too long :) Author Reply: I do apologise for not responding to your wonderful reviews before - it was only five months ago! The trouble is, if I don't do something immediately, I forget. I agree, elves are by far my favourite - both to read and to write about. Even Aragorn doesn't appear that often, as most of my stories are set earlier. I don't think there's any canon basis for an early friendship between Aragorn and Legolas, but he did travel extensively, and also went to Mirkwood, so it's possible. I'll have to consider a time-line. I keep meaning to, but get side-tracked ;-( . But yes, the wide-eyed elfling did indeed get to be Army Commander! I think the elven warriors would be good at all weapons and skills, but some would excel in one area or another. One of Legolas's skills is understanding the forest - he's a true wood-elf - but the presence of the Nazgul affects that. Ah, the troll hunt - strangely enough, I'm writing that episode now in 'With Friends Like These'. At the moment, Elrohir and Legolas have a slight problem there. Thanks again for taking the trouble to review each chapter like that, and I'm sorry I didn't reply before! Jay | |
| LOTRFaith | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/17/2004 |
| Ah ha... I see that you changed the ending a bit from the one of ff.net;-) Are you going to do the other story on here as well? I assume that you would change things in that one too if you did:-) I kinda like this ending better than the other one:-) Namaarie~ LOTRFaith Author Reply: Yes, I did change the end - I wanted Thranduil to be the one offering comfort, and decided the other ending was too lighthearted. None of the elves would get over what happened so quickly, especially Legolas. I intend to re-write 'Troll Hunting' in line with this. Jay | |
| Iraci | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/15/2004 |
| This is so beautiful. I don't use to review because my English is not that good to tell good writers as you how good they are. But I couldn't resist writing you this time to tell you how much I appreciated you story. You did a great job. Hope you start another one soon. Iraci (from Brazil) Author Reply: Thank you - your English is a lot better than my Brazilian! (Is it Spanish?) I hope you enjoyed the story - and yes, I have started another! Jay | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/15/2004 |
| Poor Legolas. I can see how these first hours alone would be very hard. I was so pleased to see your Thranduil, good father that he is, sense his son's trouble and then know just what to say. Author Reply: The original story had a much more lighthearted ending, and a different character offering comfort. But this was far more in keeping with the way Thranduil has developed in subsequent stories, and I did not want Eletia to be forgotten so quickly. Jay | |