Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search

Home  by Rose Sared 4 Review(s)
lwarrenReviewed Chapter: 2 on 6/27/2004
Hey, RS! I liked the first, longer version best; but then, I'm very much into language and the way words flow through dialogue and description. Then again, maybe that's because I teach language/reading to kids and we do lots of "picking apart" of stories and poetry in order to find the different ways authors describe things. Those stand as examples for the kids in their own writing (me,too!)....sooooooo I love the way words are fit together to make powerful, visual statements in a story (like the one you made with Gimli sharpening his weapon and comparing the repetition of that chore over the years to the iron-tower of the Dark Lord being filed to the ground). Actually there were several places especially catching throughout the first HOME...and still some left in the second also. I just like the longer....do ya' think that's why my reviews are sooooo wordy? ;-)
Sounds like an interesting writing challenge....did it drive you crazy trying to pare the first HOME down to the second? Anywho, an interesting comparison of the two! :D

linda

Author Reply: Funny really, all I did was take out all the descriptors, and boy do I mean all. So then I got the bones and that needed a little tweaking but it was the same story.
So half of my writing is putting in the pictures and the emotions- hum. I really dislike the shorter versions. Really. I guess, like you I read for story and language, I like the double chocolate version.
Having said that, almost without exception the versions that the other writers posted of their own works, cut down to fit the word limit, I prefered. So is it just because it was my baby put on a diet (several people do prefer the anorexic versions, others the longer.)
I am beginning to think that it comes down to taste. Do you want early hobbit hole (cluttered and homely) or city-loft pared down to one design statement.The thing is I like both in their place. So I remain bewildered.
Rose
(no wiser what makes good writing until I read someone else's. For me it is good if it makes my heart twitch. Hard to work that into a writing goup!)

daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 2 on 6/27/2004
Actually, I liked the longer version better, and that surprised me because I tend to write short, spare stuff myself. Is that a good answer or a bad one given the aim of the exercise?

Author Reply: And you say such nice things about my rococco prose? Thanks daw, the exercise was about tense, and got hijacked about length. Since I write in pictures I was interested to hear comment, great learning stuff for me and I hope not too boring for you all.(Your writing style is to die for and is much aspired to, by me at least.)
Thanks
Rose

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 2 on 6/27/2004
My personal favourite: wordy version, first person from Gimli.

Author Reply: Um, me too I think, but Mum's are not unbiased judges of their children. Thanks for bearing with me.
Rose

LindorienReviewed Chapter: 2 on 6/27/2004
Well, I like 'em all, but my favorites are the shorter ones. I think the very last one resonates most with me. So, tell me, Rose - are you sick of writing this story? This sort of reminds me of a movie - was it FX? In which the same things happen over and over and over except told from different viewpoints and in different ways, but each version has a twist? Lindorien

Author Reply: Screaming, desperate, pulling my hair out sick with the whole thing, this fic in particular and I am going off everyone else's apace!
Let's not do this again - pleeeez!
Rose

Return to Chapter List