News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| Avon's Drabbles by Avon | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/20/2004 |
| I think you captured Aulė's feelings for his children quite well, Avon. The reasons why he created them, his expectations for their accomplishments, his love for them -- all comes through clearly. Very nice. Switching over to how the drabble was written: I go back and forth on my opinion of the repeated use of "strong". I like the pattern of the first two sentences: an overall adjective that is used later in specific manners. Then the pattern is broken with the third sentence. I can't decide if I prefer that the pattern continue throughout the drabble or if too much of a good thing would be too much. I wonder, did you try an earlier draft with the pattern consistent throughout and decide that it was overwhelming? Regardless of whether you tried another format or not, I *do* like what you've done here. Your drabbles are always a pleasure to read. :) Author Reply: Thanks. I'm still not very fond of this drabble. I wrote it for a birthday present and it was very much of the 'uuurgh! I'm carving this out of solid rock with sheer determination rather than great inspiration the driving force' type. I didn't try to write it with the pattern continuing, but I did contemplate it. I thought it might be a bit much. I also considered following the same pattern but with a different word, but felt that might also be relying too heavily on a gimmick. Thank you very much for this feedback - it really has given me something to think about. Avon | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/17/2004 |
| A very interesting glimpse into the mind of Aule. Nicely done. Author Reply: Thanks, Karri. Avon | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/17/2004 |
| Oh Avon, this is so powerful. I'm working on Chapter 4 of "Light Out of Darkness", which focuses on Gimli, and it's giving me new insights into the Dwarves and their worldview. You do a great job here. Author Reply: Gosh, thank you! I felt well out of my depth writing this (which was done to meet a birthday request over at HASA) and havered for a long while before posting it here. Avon | |