News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| Fatty Bolger's Year by Speedy Hobbit | 1 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/21/2004 |
| Nice touch, the guards bringing apples with them. Very chilling, though, to realise the Black Riders intended murder, and the homey little detail of apples made reading the guards' ending harder. Nice gapfiller. You might want to rethink using "Okay". I've been dinged on it before in my writing. I still have it in my first big story, "Jewels", because I haven't gone back and edited that one all the way through yet, but my understanding is that "okay" is a no-no in Tolkien fanfiction. I've seen "all right" instead, or "I am well" or "are you well?" or even "is it well with you?" as varying forms where we might use "okay". So when might we expect the next chapter? Author Reply: Wow, its been so long since I have written at all! Senior year of high school and now college pretty much took over my life. I might actually write something now, I'm on spring break and have some down time for 2 days all to myself before I'm busy the rest of break! | |