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| Flames by Lindelea | 1 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Eirinn Leigh | Reviewed Chapter: 30 on 11/19/2015 |
| This story is told a lot more abruptly than the others I've read of yours; more a 'History of Annuls' and less a 'bardic tale' if that analogy makes sense. But styles are styles; it's good to try out a variety. The one critique I do have is that the way you stagger your backflashes requires the reader to have knowledge of them before they get the them to really understand the nuances of what is going on. Also I'd really like to know more about the initiation of the shunning. So far it doesn't seem absolute (as seemed implied in 'Starfire')- is it not formal yet? or are the Tooks breaking their Thain's verdict behind his back? What formal prodecures occur in cases of shunning? Author Reply: The abruptness may be partly because this is such an early story. Interesting critique! I hadn't thought of it that way before. I'll have to take another look. Ferdi's shunning was never formally announced, it was sort of sneaky and underhanded on Paladin's part. Paladin blamed Ferdi, unfairly, for Pippin's near-death in the ice storm, and subsequent self-exile. I think he knew that if Pippin had found out about the injustice, he would have returned and taken up his duties once more -- but he didn't find out until much later, because he returned letters from Tookland unopened. There was hurt and bitterness on both sides. The Tooks didn't like it, but they were afraid of Paladin's temper, and so any who broke the rules, did this very carefully and surreptitiously as possible. Except, of course, for Eglantine, who kept trying to get her husband to reverse his stance... and was about the only one who didn't have to be afraid of the consequences of defying him. You can read more about formal shunning in Truth, both the pronouncement and the reversal. (http://www.storiesofarda.com/chapterlistview.asp?SID=476) Of course, you read about the Ban in Flames, here, and in another story (Runaway), Ferdi and Tolly both nearly get Banned because of a misunderstanding. I have a love-hate relationship with that story... Anyhow, thanks for the feedback. The Muse has deserted me for the time being, which means I'm not updating the unfinished stories right now. But I keep hoping I'll be able to sit down and finish those, sooner than later... The feedback helps -- it draws my attention back to Stories of Arda, after being away for way too long. Author Reply: Oh, I just remembered, there is a little more about Ferdi's shunning in A Took By Any Other Name. http://www.storiesofarda.com/chapterlistview.asp?SID=3330 | |