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As the Gentle Rain  by Lindelea 7 Review(s)
FantasyFanReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
I see many places where this chapter has been revised, for the better I think.

The first place I noticed was Freddy's accusation of Faramir of being a ruffian. Though I judge it was in jest, certainly it was a point worth thinking about. Faramir was an honorable man placed in an impossible situation, and though he showed his quality in the end, there were moments of doubt and fear for Sam and Frodo. The parallels are obvious.

The main revision, of course, was the expansion of the end of the trial. Budgie and Robin did need to tell their stories, or else why were they there? The boredom of the clerk intimates that this might be a show trial - the conclusion is preordained. But the care and understanding with which the hobbit witnesses are treated point to genuine horror and repugnance by the people and judges, even if it is prejudicial and uninformed. Adding the weight of additional testimony, the evidence of scars and the recounting of additional horrors, and the line is blurred even more. Perhaps the anger of the crowd and the quick verdict are justified by the evidence. The ambiguity is frustrating to the hobbits, for there is a difference between revenge and justice, punishment and penitence that isn't being addressed.

I was glad to see more made of the Voice of Saruman, as its a key point for Ulrich. No, the hobbits can't make the people understand it, but I was glad to see Merry and Sam also speaking up for Ulrich. As much as Meliot wants to reinforce that it is the Man's own choices which will convict him, and that the hobbits are not to consider themselves responsible for his coming death, I would expect the peace-loving hobbits to all object strongly to violence done in their name, as well as the perception of injustice. As a matter of fact, I am surprised Ferdi doesn't say more, even if he cannot speak of the truth-sifting. And, I am curious to know why Pip hasn't said anything yet, and how Nell would react after her recent trauma. I am sure she isn't there - she would be protected from this nastiness, as Freddy attempted to protect Meliot - but I wonder what she would say. Is she capable of distinguishing between Ulrich and the Pilgrim?

Redemption is an important theme for Tolkien. I'm glad you decided to explore all these shades of grey in this story.

ConnieReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
Yes. I do like the revised chapter better. More testimony is not a bad thing. Even someone familiar with the other stories might benefit from it. I had forgotten about "take the cake", even though I remember it being in the stories now that I had my memory jogged.

I will look forward to reading more, but unless you post something later tonight or very early tomorrow, I won't get to read it until Monday. We are off to MediaWest Con tomorrow.

Thaks for your hard work on these stories, and your editor's, too.

Oh, I almost forgot, I didn't know Aragorn ruled from the North. I thought he devided his time. I thought he spent the summer in the North and the winter in the South. Hmm.

Connie.

Author Reply: Good, glad the revision worked.

I am posting the next chapter, but you might want to wait until Monday to read it. It's a cliffhanger.

MediaWest Con? What's that? Sounds fun!

You're welcome, and my editor is tickled pink to be recognised.

As far as Aragorn goes, I knew he had two kingdoms to rule so I had him dividing his time as well, only I had him spending alternating years in the North or South. I may well leave it at that, since the entry I read in the Encyclopedia of Arda was not footnoted, so I don't know where they got the information.

Meldewen IlceReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
Okay, just finished rereading the revision and I like the additions, they add much to the trial itself, made it seem more real, detailed...

I like how, in addition to Ferdi's testimony, how you have both Merry and Sam come forward to testify of the poison of Saruman's voice but I also like how the former Guardsman was skeptical of what they say, because even though he saw Gandalf he never really had a close encounter with him and therefore does not understand the power the wizards could wield over those around them for good or evil...

Yes, I do like the additions!

Author Reply: O good. My editor hasn't had time to read my re-creation of our revision yet, but I'm sure she'll be relieved to hear that the readers think it is an improvement.

Thanks for the specific comments!

Meldewen IlceReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
Well, I for one thought that this chapter is very well-done and I'll say it again: I do not want to see Ulrich hang for his past and really I think it should be the hobbits who have the ultimate say to his fate as it was them the ruffians hurt the most, not the men of the White City...

And if the hobbits have found it in their hearts to forgive him, then Ulrich should go free...

Great chapter and I anxiously await more!

Author Reply: As you know, the Internet ate our first revision. But I took time over lunch to try to recreate our changes, and the revised chapter is now up. Don't know if I got them all, but I did remember quite a few additions and changes. Let me know what you think of the "new improved" version... does it tighten things up and fill in holes?

Thanks for taking the time to review!

Hai TookReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
I really thought that Ulrich would get off! I wasn't quite pleased when Ferdi stood to speak for Ulrich, very fine of him. Freddy giving his testimony and still speaking kindly of Ulrich was remarkable. I'm looking forward to finding out what happense next!

Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing!

The chapter has undergone some changes, in case you're interested.

I agree with you, hobbits are remarkable creatures! I often think on Frodo's pity towards Gollum and his mercy towards Saruman...

ConnieReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
I am so proud of Ferdi for speaking in Ulrich's defense. He really is coming around to new ways of thinking, but he will always be mistrustful of Men until they prove themselves.

I'm disappointed that the jury decided to go ahead with the sentence of hanging. It does seem a bit excessive considering he never was directly involved in the taking of a life. Yes, he was an accessory. Yes, he did knowingly allow things to happen. But he did only what he was ordered to. He deserves punishment because he could have exercised his free will and tried to undo the damage he had been party to, but he didn't. Let the punishment fit the crime. I think Ferdi had a good idea; treat the Man the way he allowed the hobbits to be treated, but only for the period of time equal to the longest time anyone was held in the lockholes. Just a thought.

Thanks for including this as part of the story.

Connie.

Author Reply: You're welcome, Connie. As I said before, this was written as background, and only part of it was supposed to appear in the finished work. But my editor decided to include the exhaustive details for the benefit of those who hadn't read "A Small and Passing Thing" or "The Rebel".

Plus, she ran across a notation that Elessar actually ruled from the North and only visited the South, so she is thinking of how to reflect that (if need be), in this story and others already written. It makes me tired just to think of it, so I'm afraid I'm not being much help at the moment.

I think Ferdi's idea had merit, although the Men of Gondor are not uncivilised enough to treat a prisoner the way the hobbits in the Lockholes were treated...

The chapter has undergone significant revision. If you have time to read it over again, let me know what you think of the changes.

Thanks for reviewing!

FantasyFanReviewed Chapter: 36 on 5/26/2004
First, I am tickled pink! You used the name for Budgie's daughter that I suggested! Even though it's not an important thing, I'm very flattered to be included in one of your stories.

Second, I have to apologize for being missing lately. I have had a sick brother and not much time, though he is out of the hospital now and things should be getting better.

The inner thoughts of Freddy are interesting here. He brings up the old debate about how much to tell, and Freddy agrees with Merry that some things are best left unsaid - yet it was Freddy who wrote the story of the Lockholes in detail for Sam. Did he have an agreement with Sam that the tale should be kept private, or did he simply think that Sam could handle the horror? Or did he write it as catharsis, and has since changed his mind? I can understand Merry feeling the need to tell Melly some of the story - those close to Freddy did need to understand what happened to him, to best help him; and I also think it would not be fair for Melly to commit herself unawares, though really that should have been a matter for Freddy rather than Merry to deal with. Merry has always been a little bossy though, and I can see him sticking his nose in where it didn't strictly belong.

I don't think Ferdi is going to let Ulrich go peacefully in the dawn. He's stubborn enough to force the issue, despite king and judges and the whole town of very large people. They may think that they know Tooks, from dealing with Pippin, but they haven't really encountered a Took until they've encountered Ferdi. We shall see.

This goes back a chapter, but I am horrified by the thought of the mad ruffian who stalks the hobbits. Now he's responsible for instigating the fire too, and he has more disguises? The terror always lurking, seen only in glimpses and never releasing the threat - this is the stuff of nightmares! You are giving Stephen King a run for his money in this story.

Author Reply: Yes, I have been planning to use that lovely name for some time. I do so appreciate your reviews, it was nice to name a character after your suggestion.

Sorry to hear your brother was in the hospital, and glad to hear he's out. Will hope with you for better days.

I think that Freddy's writing of his tale was partly for Sam's benefit, because it is, in large part, the story of Frodo's having to leave the Shire, and partly as catharsis, as you said. It was really between him and Samwise; I don't think he anticipated his wife ever hearing the full tale since he removed to the South not long after sending the completed work to Sam.

"They haven't really encountered a Took until they've encountered Ferdi." chortle!

My editor have heavily revised this chapter. (Twice, actually. The computer ate the first revision after more than an hour's work.) If you have the time I'd appreciate your thoughts. Does it read better? Does it answer any lingering questions you might have had?

Stephen King. :::shudder::: I stopped reading his works long ago. They gave me nightmares. Yikes.

Author Reply: I meant "my editor and I have heavily revised". don't know if the computer ate more words, or if I'm just tired. Going back to real life now, lunch break is over!

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