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| Memory Of Darkness by Jay of Lasgalen | 8 Review(s) |
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| Kalima | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 11/10/2004 |
| Hello Jay of Lasgalen, I've been meaning to read your story for a long time, and finally got this far today while I should have been doing many other rather critical things before I go back to work. I just wanted to take a moment to tell you I'm enjoying it. I only meant to read a chapter, but it was too addicting. If you can bear with my copyediting thing, I'll just mention that near the beginning, you wrote "...snow covered [hill or soemthing]." I would recommend hyphenating the compound modifier ("snow-covered"). Ditto for "light-hearted banter." In this 8th chapter, near the end. Legolas is speaking with Elrohir and you end the sentence with an ellipsis (three dots), end quote, and then have "he stopped." I'd recommend making the ellipsis into four dots and then cap the "H" -- "He stopped." May I print this off for my daughter? She'll love it. (My 12-year-old, very precocious, and a good writer herself.) I'll see if I can finish it tomorrow. Thank you so much for writing it! Kalima | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/20/2004 |
| I could see cats – purple cats, walking all around the room, climbing on the chair, over the bed and then back out of the door. How I wish I had some tiny bit of artistic talent! I *so* want to draw a picture of the purple cats parading through Elrohir's room, weaving in and out of the other people, marching over the furniture and out the door. What an amusing image! I love it! And best of all -- the cats are PURPLE. Such a cat-like color. *snicker* Can you tell I liked this chapter, Jay? It was good to see that Legolas is doing better although his catalogue of injuries still sounded bad. I hope he's on the way to a full recovery and will be able to be up and around soon. I also how Elladan continues to evade Lantus. :) Author Reply: I wish I could see the cats too - or at least draw them! They seem very popular. Legolas will soon be up and about - I foresee him being lethal with his crutches. Such a handy weapon! Thanks for the review - and the next chapter is up now too! | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/14/2004 |
| A terrific chapter, Jay. I'm very glad to see Legolas on the mend. The conversation between the elflings was no doubt good for both of them. Author Reply: Yes, Legolas is getting better, and is at the 'bored senseless' stage of healing. Elrohir was able to be very reassuring about the halucinations and cheered Legolas up. | |
| Rose Sared | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/13/2004 |
| Well purple cats and creeping thingys, you never give the poor boy a break do you? G. Nice to see him getting better, and nice to catch up with this old favorite story. Well done rose Author Reply: Yes, he's getting better, but his recovery will still be a slow process. The worst part now will be the tedium! Glad you're enjoying the story. | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/13/2004 |
| Purple cats....that does sound interesting! I liked Elrohir's story. I am glad Legolas is on the mend. Quite often patients do have to be restrained from tearing at bandages and such, so he is fortunate he didn't wake up that way :D. I am sure they will find someway to amuse him about the palace - and probably rather ingenious too. Author Reply: I wish I could see the purple cats too! Elrohir was able to be reassuring, because he has experienced the same thing. And as long as Legolas can keep himself from poking and picking at his scars he'll be all right. Thranduil actually has a rather good plan to keep Legolas occupied - think back to the previous story. | |
| LOTRFaith | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/13/2004 |
| oh good... Legolas is starting to heal properly:-) Hmm... Elrohir's story about the purple cats was a bit amusing... But for some reason the whole shadows and rustling and movements in the dark sent shivers down my back... Legolas' accident seriously freaked me out cause I hate being in such a compressing dark... I was once in a cave on a tour and they shut out all the lights, I had nightmares for weeks on end... Whew... Your wonderful story brought back those memories;-) Excellent chapter! Look forward for more! Author Reply: Poor you - poor Legolas. At the start of this story he didn't have a problem with caves or darkness - he does now. Like you, I've been in a cave where all the lights were put out - I've never seen dark like it. There was something fascinating about it. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/13/2004 |
| I'm so glad Legolas is getting better - that was a pretty major injury. Elrohir is sweet and he seems to have a good level of perception. Purple cats, though? Not quite pink elephants, but close. Please update soon - I really like this story!! It's actually rather a delight to have the twins, Legolas and Arwen much of an age - it's hard to get your head round hundreds/thousands of years between siblings and friends. It must make for really strange family dynamics - and parents-in-law younger than their sons/daughters-in-law. It's no wonder that a nearly 3000 Arwen could marry an 88 year old Aragorn - I suppose age didn't mean much. I digress - look forward to the next chapter. Author Reply: Yes, he is getting better - but will still be bedridden for a while. Elrohir is being very reassuring - I like the twins being so responsible. I think the purple cats say more about me than Elrohir! I've actually made the twins and Arwen closer in age in my stories than they really are - it started several stories ago so that they could grow up together, and I can't change it now! Jay | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 7/13/2004 |
| The aftermath of Legolas's injuries sound horrible! Bruises and stitches and general bad stuff. I'm glad he's getting better. I'm not sure I'm convinced that he didn't really see anything in the caves, but I suppose I could be. Depends on what happens now! Author Reply: Physically he's still in a bad way, but otherwise he's recovering. Elrohir has helped to convince him that there *really* wasn't anything in the caves - now he just has to convince the readers! Jay | |