Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search

The Danger of Disobedience  by jenolas 5 Review(s)
KendallReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/28/2004
Dear author,
What a lovely story! I don't have much to say about that except everything just fits perfectly. You have portrayed a very believable young Legolas and reading about him in this manner made my heart reach out for him. Thanks for sharing this adorable story!

Author Reply: Your comments are most welcome and appreciated greatly.

thanks, jenolas

LKKReviewed Chapter: 1 on 4/27/2004
Very lovely, jenolas. I liked how the story opened from the spider's viewpoint. You managed to make me feel sorry for the young one. Not an easy feat, given that Mirkwood spiders are seldom portrayed sympathetically. Then the switch over to little Legolas ... and all my sympathies shifted as well. (I'm not ashamed to admit that in a fight between Legolas and a spider, I'm rooting for Legolas no matter how much sympathy I might feel for the spider!) Finally, to learn *why* Legolas was disobeying Ada was the icing on the emotional cake. How can a person be angry at a disobedient elfling who is only trying to find a way to convince Nana to not sail West?? This was a very emotional and well-written piece. One of your best, I think.

Author Reply: Yes, I think this is one of my best pieces as well. It was really a bit of an experiment to try and write from the spider's POV, and I am happy with the result. I am also pleased that you enjoyed it, thank you for saying so.

jenolas
(Legolas was never really in danger of losing) :)

daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 1 on 4/17/2004
What a great encounter between these two young creatures of dark and light. I suppose everything's in the point of view. I feel bad for Legolas, who is about to lose his mother, though. He is powerless against what is calling her, just as his father will be powerless against what will call him.

Author Reply: Thanks daw,

I imagine if you were to ask the spiders their opinion they would complain of being very poorly treated by the Elves!


eokatReviewed Chapter: 1 on 4/17/2004
This was lovely I enjoyed reading it. Eokat

Author Reply: Thanks so much.

DotReviewed Chapter: 1 on 4/17/2004
Hi there! So, I just spotted this and thought I'd enjoy a nice little story while it's quiet at work, but no... You had me not only on the edge of my seat but practically hanging off it!!

That opening paragraph was simply amazing - you have such a gift with language. I re-read it a few times because it sounds so beautifully - and horrifically - poetic. Such a shocking insight too into life in the darker parts of Mirkwood.

Now, I will admit, I kind of felt sorry for the spider. You just had to make it a baby one, didn't you?? I like the description "beings of light" and the feeling of the spider that they are intruding on his home, rather than the other way around.

Ah, so sad. That little glimpse into life in the royal family was heart-breaking. I love the way you show it from Legolas' perspective, how the child cannot understand why his mother would want to leave and just wants to make her happy, to see her smile again. We also get a very poignant glimpse of how his mother clearly struggles to maintain a facade around her young son.

"By doing so, surely that would be the same as having Ada or another adult with him, would it not?" Child's logic - you just can't argue with it!

So, Legolas is showing signs of great skill already, just not quite good enough yet to defeat this adversary. O.k., o.k. for a teeny, tiny second I thought he'd done it...;)

"Eyes blazing with fury met his, the anger softened with a tender kiss on his brow and a warm embrace as he was swept into the strong arms of his very relieved Ada." Ah, lovely. Poor Thranduil must have been beside himself with worry and I can only image his anger at the blatant disobedience - but it's wonderful to see his deep love and no doubt his sorrow that this young elf has had to learn in such a way of the dangers in his own home.

It's a great piece, jenolas - I think I'll go and read it again:)



Author Reply: I am pleased you liked my uncommon POV in regards to the spiders, suspense and all. There is a certain eerie parallel between Legolas and the spider with intrusions into their homes and both losing their mothers.

Of course Thranduil was angry, but that is a common reaction of a parent borne of fear for his son's safety.

I hope you enjoyed it as much the second time,(and the fact that since you are at work you are technically being paid to read fanfiction.. not a bad job, eh? )

jenolas

Return to Chapter List