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| Midnight Excursion by Bodkin | 8 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Dragon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 12/15/2004 |
| "not since we became grown-up and sensible..." I feel this is somewhat forboding! I like this story! Poor Not-Quite-Elflings finding patrol so miserable and Glorfindel being so strict. (I love your Glorfindel, he's stern yet loves them underneath it all). You make them seem so real and all the little details bring the thing to life - the twin's exhuberance at the holiday, the long cool swim, climbing the falls seeming like a good idea, the parents... I love your writing! :) Author Reply: It's so hard to be the offspring of the Lord - like being a kid in your mother's class, everyone has to be a bit tougher on you and make sure you get picked up for tiny transgressions that others get away with. Glorfindel has to be firmer with them just so the others can't cry 'unfair' and take it out on them. Mind you, they must be used to it - I'm sure their education was longer and more thorough too. Something always has to happen though, doesn't it, or there wouldn't be a story! And tiny slips can cause serious problems. Thank you! I love your writing, too! | |
| Lily Frost | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/25/2004 |
| Oh, lovely! I love twin stories, and this one is very well done. The descriptions are picturesque, but the story moves along without lagging becaue of it. Author Reply: Thank you. I am rather partial to the twins. I find it difficult to avoid conversation myself. I am glad you liked it! | |
| Elwen | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/1/2004 |
| A beautifully told tale. So many wonderful descriptions. This one particularly took my imagination, "The darkness was silken, Elrohir felt as they slipped from the house by one of the many side doors. Not the deep velvet of starlit nights, but the light smooth touch of fine shantung sliding over his skin and it made him bubble with joy simply to be out in the fresh caress of the soft air, with the fragrance of the jasmine and honeysuckle in his nostrils." I could see it, taste it, smell it, feel it. Bravo. Author Reply: Thank you. I can't think of anything appropriate to say - I was smelling the jasmine as the words came. Such a summery fragrance. I'm glad you enjoyed it. | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/31/2004 |
| Oh, hell. I lack the will power to not read the story. This was great. I like Glorfindel - 'not bad was not good enough'. They're Elrond's sons, and a greater responsibility is demanded of them. The description of sensation as Elrohir leaves the house is wonderful, I feel as if I was there. The moment when Elrohir fell 'dissolved into boneless limpness' is heartstopping. I know he lives, but it is still tense! Thank you for a great story. Jay Author Reply: Thank you. Training for 'lordship' must be quite a task really - and a responsibility. At least we know he survived without any long-term damage - and they can even laugh about it. Although I suppose that's about three thousand years or so further on. | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/31/2004 |
| Oh, that was excellent. I thought you did a great job showing the reality of riding out in the heat and the dirt. I could practically taste that dust! It must be difficult for the twins to reconcile the Glorfindel they knew growing up with the Glorfindel who is now their captain. Actually, it must not be very easy for him either. Obviously I don’t want to see them punished but I admire the fact that he has the strength of character to do it. The fact that he seems to be more aware than they are of what their position as Elrond’s sons means seems to weigh on him a bit. I love that Celebrian gets a bit teary. That’s such a motherly thing to do! Still, it must be hard to know that her sons have started a new life from which there’s no going back. It seems Elrond feels the same way. I really can’t blame the twins for wanting to go swimming. Elladan really is such a flirt! Maidens in cold water, eh?! That moment when Elrohir falls is amazing. I love the way you write it as Elladan sees it. He should be commended for keeping his head so well. It’s sad to think that somewhere they associate with such fun will now only hold bad memories for them. I knew Elrohir couldn’t die, obviously, but you still had me on the edge of my seat! Elladan must have frightened the life out of poor Elrond when he appeared on his balcony! I like that he finds time to reassure Elladan, though, despite his worry for his other son. At least Glorfindel gets to play the role he’s probably more comfortable with. I love the strength and comfort he can offer Elladan. I really enjoyed this, particularly the closeness and banter between Elladan and Elrohir. You show how close they are but still give them very distinct personalities. Great story! :-) Author Reply: It must be quite difficult to have people in so many different roles - Lord/Adar, 'Uncle'/Captain, Grandmother/Galadriel. I suppose they have grown up with it, but the demands on the twins must have been constant - education, behaviour, training, responsibility - everything, really. It's a big thing when you see your little ones move into another role, whether it's school, university, work, marriage. And adulthood is an eternal commitment for elves. Childhood must seem even shorter to them. Elladan = big flirt. Elrohir = more romantic. (In my mind, anyway.) I expect the bad memories will fade once they know that Elrohir is fine - I hope so, because it is a good place - and there are all those wet cold maidens willing to come and share it with them! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/31/2004 |
| Bodkin, I think I love you! Not only this, but the previews as well! I've deliberately not read this yet, but have printed it to take away with me to savour. Thank you! Jay Author Reply: You're welcome. I hope you enjoy it. Have a good holiday. | |
| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/31/2004 |
| Ah, glad I had a moment to read when the story alert came in. Even got to jot some comments without interruption, how unusual! It seems rather silly to put your leaders where they can be attacked first – but at least they can breathe.’ very sensible They were in the unfortunate position of being the Lord’s sons – and, for them, not bad was not good enough. so ture to life Neither twin was entirely sure why their naneth’s eyes filled with tears when she saw them typical mother! typical sons! ‘I think you will find you have just summed up the whole experience of life as a warrior, my son,’ he said sadly. ‘Most of it is discomfort and boredom, interspersed with moments of terror and intense action.’ another truism A couple nitpicks: These phrases sound very "modern" and out of context to my ear, FWIW: "Textbook conduct" (do elves have textbooks?)--how about "exemplary" instead?, "out of circulation"--confined to his bed/room something of the sort? or "limited" or... sorry just got interrupted while editing this thought and it went right out of my head. You're missing the final close quote at the end of the story. I love Elrond's heavy irony! All in all, an excellent story, starting with boredom, transitioning into mischief, and becoming quickly a disaster-barely-averted. Author Reply: They must spend more time needing to breathe than to defend themselves from attack - I nearly put that bit in, but it didn't quite fit, But so true. Difficult being so close to Elrond and Glorfindel - and sons returning from their first extended patrol and they don't expect Naneth to be tearful - no understanding of females. I spent ages looking at textbook conduct and considering it - OK I'll go for changing it. Out of circulation - maybe - I'll replace that too. The whole thing is about half a page longer than it started out because I just couldn't find the right last line. Maybe moving the 'after all' will help. I can see it going on until breakfast. Thank you for reading and commenting. | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/31/2004 |
| Wonderful story, Bodkin. It's amazing how exciting it is, even though I know that the twins must both survive. I loved the tension between them and Glorfindel (mixed with love and respect too). Their being Elrond's sons makes things harder on them, not easier, as one might assume. I also like Elrohir's flirtatious personality. He is very bad about taking maidens to the cold pool! Author Reply: I'm glad it worked. It must be difficult to be the Lord's sons - you would have to be better than the rest, and it must be no picnic to have your honorary Uncle Glorfindel as your captain, because fairness would dictate that you got away with nothing. Yes, maidens in their shifts in the cold pool. A teenage boy's idea of heaven. | |