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Of Balrogs and Battles  by Jay of Lasgalen 19 Review(s)
SnehaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/6/2015
I love this story! Morgoth tickling Maeglin was hilarious, as was Elrond having to drag the twins out of the pond. Your Glorfindel was wonderful, warm, honest and strong. His love for the twins showed clearly! The description of the fall of Gondolin was evocative, I could see how desperate the situation was and Glorfindel's tremendous courage.
But what an ending! I was laughing away at Erestor joining in with Celebrian over his shoulder and then the last line had me reeling! Awesome story!

harrowcatReviewed Chapter: 2 on 4/3/2006
Wow! you do know how to turn the mood of a piece don't you Jay? Had to look this one up and it is a lot of fun and then you get to the last line!!! Brilliant writing.

Author Reply: ;/

Sorry. I enjoyed writing this, then I thought about what new game the twins would play - and rescuing Nana from orcs seemed typical of them! They didn't know it would come true, did they?

LadyMorrigan87Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 2/21/2006
Wow! That ending was like wow. OMG! I can't think of anything to say besides wow!

Author Reply: Whoops! Sorry, I missed seeing this review.

Yes, the ending was a little unexpected, but I do hope you enjoyed the rest of the tale!


Jay

Estel KenobiReviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/29/2006
Holy sithspit Jay! That was freaking awesome! SO artfully done! So cute and sweet...then WHAM! Out of nowhere comes that suckerpunch. A startling yet beautiful way of showing how innocence cannot last. I give you your props...that was freakin awesome. Did I say that already? Oh well...once more for good measure. F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

Author Reply: Does that mean you liked it? :)

Thanks for reviewing this, especially as it's an older story. It was fun writing this, and I love to write about the twins at any age. Towards the end of the story, I began to think about what other games the young twins might play - and unforunately this seemed obvious. One day I might write about Celebrían's rescue, and have one of the twins remember this game. One day.




pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/8/2005
This is a very cute story, even thier mother is palying along with erestor is play, very amuzing...great job...

Author Reply: I think the young twins would find anything about Balrogs or orcs great fun - it's just sad that their game at the end of this story foreshadows such tragedy :(

Thanks for the review!

paranoidangelReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/18/2004
I'm so behind on my reading. Had I known how good this was I certainly would have read it sooner.

That was really sweet. I really liked the description Glorfindel didn't tell the twins of them leaving Gondolin. I liked Elrohir disliking being Elrohir - I can see his point. That ending was absolutely terrible though - I mean that in a good way. You really are a horrible nasty person!

Author Reply: How did I miss replying to this? I usually respond the same day.

I'm glad you liked this - and I do know what you mean about the ending. I had to do it, though - it was so much the sort of game the twins would play.

It's not that Elrohir doesn't like who he is, or even being second-born. It's always being 'and Elrohir' he doesn't like.

KalimaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 9/27/2004
Ah! I thought maybe the story was going to darken. It made me cry (something I do more easily now that I have children, particularly whenever grieving parents or grieving children come into play) and smile too. I think your ending was clever. I certainly didn't expect it, and the foreshadowing was perhaps the saddest part of all. I've never had a clear picture of Celebrian, and seeing her so happy, carefree, and loving of her children makes her later fate all the more tragic.

I like having the childhoods of our characters filled in. It makes the original LOTR richer, too. Have you noticed? Even though so many of the fan fics are contradictory, I find that the characters have more depth in general because the writers make them deeper with detail.

So I thank you. And I'm sorry I haven't read more of your stories, but I have them all stored for later reading. I find you a very rewarding writer.

Do you mind a teeny weeny copyedit suggestion? I would recommend hyphenating "panic-sticken cries," just as you have "grief-stricken refugees." (I do so love an author who can hyphenate!)



Author Reply: Poor Celebrian. I wonder if she, or her sons, remembered that game later on? I think she was a very loving mother, or the twins would not have been so set on rescuing and avenging her.

I love writing about these minor characters, as Tolkien told us so little. Their childhoods are great to write about, as there is a blank page to fill in. I like to write about little Legolas too (Thranduil does not abuse him!) for the same reasons.

Thanks so much for your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed reading, and I love getting reviews!

Jay
(PS, thank you for the comment about panic-stricken. I'll change it.)

LKKReviewed Chapter: 2 on 9/21/2004
*shocked* I can't believe I haven't reviewed the second chapter! I'm sorry, Jay.

The description of the dream battle between Glorfindel and the balrog was very evocative. No wonder the twins decided not to play balrog any more.

But ai! What a chilling end. Even when the twins said they were playing warrior, I didn't catch on. I gasped out loud at that last sentence. It was like a knife-stroke.

Good story, Jay.

Author Reply: It's actually rather nice to get a review some time after a story has been published, so please don't apologise! (I think, Oh! People are still reading this!) I loved writing this story; the twins have enough character to be interesting, but are still child-like.

I have to say, I'm delighted that that final sentence has had such an impact on everyone!

lwarrenReviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/25/2004
Well, Jay, here it is, early morning and I'm sitting in class getting prepared for the day (HA!)by fortifying myself with this sweet little story about the twins and Glorfindel, and what happens? I reach the end and almost fall out of the chair...then I use half a box of Kleenex! What an ending! What a surprise! and how very,very sad and prophetic! You did a superb job of telling such a convincing story (the twins' play, Glorfindel's story...which was chilling in and of itself...the subsequent nightmare...the new game with Elrond's hilarious reaction)and then blasting the readers with that last seemingly innocent line! Wonderful!

linda

Author Reply: I think perhaps that second chapter should have had a Kleenex warning on it, judging by the reactions it's got! Hope it didn't spoil your day too much - you're in back class already?

I'm glad you liked the story - I had fun writing it, especially Elrond leaping out on his sons in that last scene.

JastaElfReviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/24/2004
Oh my God.

Oh my Everliving GOD!!! JAY!!!!

You are flat-out wonderful, do you know that?? You weave this sweet little story, give us Twinses dreaming through the memories of Earendil, show us adults acting silly--then ram in the knife so expertly, so perfectly, like Glorfindel skewering the Balrog....

Then this:

“We’re warriors. Nana’s been captured by orcs, and we’re going to rescue her!”

Oh.

My.

God.

I don't know whether to cry or hug you or both. :-) What a brilliant move, so superbly done, so completely unexpected--so innocent, because they don't know what WE know as the omniscient reader.... oh my God, oh my God. And I mean that entirely prayerfully....

I applaud you. This is splendid. This is brilliant. This is horrid and wonderful and oh my GOD, Tolkien would even love this....

VERY well done, nin mellon. VERY well done indeed.

Author Reply: *blushing* Wow, thanks, Jasta! I thought that for two such adventurous children, it would be a natural game to play. Even boring Erestor joined in. None of them had any idea it would become so horrifically real in later life.

The dream started off as a straightforward nightmare, but then I thought if they could have inherited the memories from their grandfather who witnessed it - it added a certain twist.

Thanks again - and I'm delighted that last line worked so well!

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