Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search

Masquerade  by Elendiari22 8 Review(s)
LynReviewed Chapter: 14 on 11/24/2005
Alas! Such a classic story as this one should be marred by
a colloquial bit of dialect rather than the highest standard
of English.

Confused? Not surprising. I refer to the verb To Sneak, which,
until recently, had always been: sneak, sneaked, has sneaked.
A regular verb, one that does not deviate. Old dictionaries are
quite definite on this; new ones in America are vacillating and
some are accepting the change.

The current "word", "snuck" (like a virus with RNA) is
duplicating itself in the most rampant manner. Most properly,
it belongs to the dialect spoken by country folk of the hills
in South Missouri or the Appalachians in the East of the United States.
As in, "Deer Fred, I snuck into yer yard to git m'dog. If'n you
wanna go huntin' agin, give a holler. Ain't in any hurry."

Should you revise the story and substitute "sneaked" for snuck,
no one, absolutely NO ONE will complain. Sorry, but the word snuck,
while becoming popular and rather ubiquitous, stands out like
wearing high heels while climbing a mountain or an onion growing in
a prize rose garden.

This IS a classic story, in my opinion. As such, it deserves the
very best in terms of vocabulary.

Hai TookReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/28/2005
Wait! Is alchemy the study of life? Or not dying something like that? I'm sure I will figure it out eventually!

Hai TookReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/28/2005
Hm, I know that I know what Alchemy is but I can't remember at the moment! Just that the room has no windows and no doors disturbs me though! The librarian seems to know a bit, but I guess as a good librarian it ought he isn't just handing over the information, although I wish he would just to get it over with! Looking forward to more!

FarawynReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/25/2005
"Do you think she'd let me hug her if I ran at her like that?"

Lovely! You had me laughing.

And the Librarian was very ... intreaging. Why do I get the feeling that he knows something that we do not?

Update very soon!

Farawyn

P.S. I love your "The Merry War" I always wondered why the hobbits had that much-too-innocent looks on their faces in Rivendell.

Author Reply: Yay for laughter! I was going for a lighter tone with this chapter, and I see it worked. :)

Isn't the librarian cool? You get that feeling because he does know something we don't. And I'm sure this plot will be furthered greatly when he tells me what it is!

I'm definitely going to be updating quicker! I think you all deserve it!

And re: "A Merry War": I'm glad you like it! I'm having so much fun writing light-hearted stuff it's not even funny. ^_^

shireboundReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/25/2005
Eowyn found herself being bundled out of the room, pushed by hobbit hands. She glanced back at her brother and fiancé, calling, “I don’t know who it could have been. I’m sorry to disappoint you! Oh, and we owe Bergil some land in the Westfold.”

*snicker* Oooh, and a secret Alchemy Room! The plot thickens even further...



Author Reply: Thickening plots are such fun!

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/25/2005
'Oh, and we owe Bergil some land in the Westfold.'

Now there's a remark that would leave you speechless! I think Aragorn's words of rustic wisdom are very apt here. And they might as well jump on the train, because they don't have a chance of derailing it. The forward motion is now far too inevitable.

'All right, lads, our mission for today (should you choose to accept it) is to comb the Great Library for maps of the abandoned wing.' Very Mission Impossible.

Love the humour of this section! I can just see Merry in his Nelson-style hat, splicing the mainbrace - while Pippin and Bergil go for the spotted handkerchief look.

And it's great to see the library - and the librarian on his throne - coming into their own! (He is right - some things are best left undisturbed. The trouble is knowing which things they are, because others need daylight to disperse the shadows.)

I can just see them all wallowing in ancient gossip - and getting a picture of the demented Belecthor. I hope they find out why he was demented (palanthir again? Or the effects of Alchemy?) because otherwise Faramir will get all neurotic about madness in the family and refuse to marry Eowyn because of his tainted genes, for the sake of the unborn children.

Good stuff.



Author Reply: These poor men are being left behind in the dust. Now I wonder if Eomer will be giving Bergil land. :)

The hobbits and their good humor are fun to write. After all, they haven't spent the night in a haunted room in a closed section of the citadel, and they've had a good breakfast. Silliness will reign.

Wouldn't that be tragic, if Faramir were to go all neurotic? I won't do that to him, but it's a plausible argument. Poor guy. Luckily, they will figure out why Belecthor is demented, sooner than later.

Thanks!

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/24/2005
Oh my! The lads are really into this now!

I love Pippin's matter-of-fact announcement about the girl in red "it was a ghost". He's gone from being really spooked over the idea to being rather blase about it, LOL!

And for some reason your descriptions of the library put me in mind of the libraries in Hogwarts and at the University in Ankh-Morpok. Although the librarian does not sound in the least bit like an orangutang.*grin*

Seriously though, it was cool to see Pippin getting absorbed in research, and to show Merry cooly tracing the maps. I love the way you are portraying their personalities.

Author Reply: There were two sides to Pippin's comment about the ghost: it's both true, because it *was* a ghost, but it also sounds silly, like someone saying "it's a mystery" to indulge a child. But yes, he is getting pretty blase about teh whole situation!

I like big, dusty old libraries. The one at Hogwarts would send me into throws of joy if I were actually able to go to it, lol!

I'm really glad you like how I'm portraying the lads. Thanks for reading!

Shieldmaiden of RohanReviewed Chapter: 14 on 6/24/2005
Alchemy room? Ooh, that sounds interesting. And I like the librarian.

And huzzah for Jack!Merry!! But I think this was my favorite line... “You’re not going to be like everyone else here and tell us to stay out of trouble, are you?” Pippin demanded. “Because I’m fairly certain we will ignore you."

Author Reply: The plot thickens! I'm having lots of fun with this. :)

Jack!Merry! is the result of watching PoTC while working on this chapter. I really must stop doing that, lol.

Isn't Pippin great? He's dead serious with that statement, and the librarian knows it. I think we'll be seeing more of that man, too. I like him.

Return to Chapter List