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| Shadow II: Northern Flames by fael bain | 8 Review(s) |
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| Kina | Reviewed Chapter: 39 on 1/26/2007 |
| I think the story is wonderful! PLEASE keep working on it fael bain! I see that you have been working on it recently and hope you will continue. I can't wait for the end of the story or atleast the next chapter. Author Reply: Thanks very much for your encouragement. It shouldn't be long now before I finish the story but it's going to be continued in another instalment. Hope you carry on enjoying it! | |
| Lyn | Reviewed Chapter: 26 on 6/7/2006 |
| For nothing has the alliance between our kingdoms been made." I haven't had sleep for over 20 hours, but I think the word "Not" should be placed in front of "for nothing". I can't remember the name of the girl Legolas and Esendri rescued but I wonder if she is important later on. On one hand, Elrond tells the (movie) line that Men are weak...yet they are seeking an (illegitimate) decendent of Isildur because of the blood tie and if this descendent is kept safe, (the child) will prevent Sauron from winning. If the legitimate heirs were weak and Gondor will fall, how then could an illegitimate heir be strong and the world survive? I need sleep, that's for sure! Gandalf should be honest...there is nothing calming about tobacco to one who is not an addict. It is only when the addict gets his "fix" (nicotine) that the nervousness subsides and he is once again calm. Toothless, wrinkled, and coughing, but calm. When one weaves a simple story, mistakes can be made, but when one is weaving a tapestry, it is inevitable a few threads will be dropped. It doesn't matter, for the tapestry when finished will glow with warmth and only the bitter will point out a broken thread or two. So, don't fret over small details! You have a tremendously complex, full, rich, and rewarding story here, one that I eagerly await between chapters. Author Reply: Hi Lyn! You are right of course. I know how you feel, but I hope the reason you haven't been sleeping is not the same as mine: exams! But poohy things aside, maybe Elrond feels that they are weak, but if the enemy is worried about them, it will be a useful weapon to have, because things do have a way of becoming self-fulfiling prophecies at times. I also agree with you about Gandalf. But even old wizards can have their vices at times, and I do believe that there is the general perception (even among smokers) that baccy is good for the nerves, but of course they forget that the reason why they have the shakes in the first place is that they are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Not a very nice thing, I don't think. Kind of like me off caffeine. Not that I am any less cranky with it. Thanks for being so understanding about the mistakes. I cringe everytime I find one, just because I'd love to be able to put together a water-tight story, but am often let down by niggling things. I guess it's the perfectionist streak in me coming out really strong. I am glad you enjoy it as much as I do love creating it. xx | |
| Lyn | Reviewed Chapter: 25 on 5/29/2006 |
"Not now," Legolas said, turning to look at Elrohir, who had a million questions in his eyes too. "We must move off, or the dragons will return." Making a few hurried excuses, Legolas disappeared only to return a few minutes later, paler than before. "We must leave," he said in answer to their curious stares. "We carry on northwest once we have rounded the edge of the cliffs. If we keep low, the dragons will not spot us. Otherwise, we give them a good fight." ---- Where did Legolas go and why? What made him "paler than before"? Is this something that Elrohir and Esendri are not supposed to know? I would have preferred knowing as a reader. In fact, I prefer knowing exactly what is happening and why unless it is something the (reader) or (Elrohir, Esendri, other characters) must not know (but will be revealed later in the story). For me, there are many instances of missing scenes or missing words. I feel disconnected every once in a while when reading this story. The end of one chapter does not occur at the beginning of the next chapter---there is no continuity...the next chapter is just a brand new scene. It's as if something is missing. It reminds me of watching a mystery story on TV and the signal is occasionally distorted, so whenever the picture is available, you know you are still in the same story but something happened when the picture wasn't available and you have to guess what happened. There are enough connected scenes and images and thoughts that I can get the GIST of the story, and this is a very imaginative and entertaining story! In fact, this one of BEST story lines I've read and the characterizations are excellent; however, I just wish there were more explanations as the story goes along so I know exactly: 1) what is happening and 2) to whom it is happening. Author Reply: Hi Lyn, I've edited it to read: 'Making a few hurried excuses, Legolas disappeared in the direction of where Eilwar had left his pack, only to return a few minutes later, paler than before, clutching a letter in his hand which none of the other two noticed.' I guess I really hate a style where everything is spelt out carefully to the reader, but because in my head everything falls into place and make sense, I sometimes do get a bit muddled as to what I tell my readers. I'm sorry you find it frustrating, and I agree that it is disconnected, but I am hoping to slowly let the various mysteries unfold. I think part of my reason for doing so is (perhaps a cheap way of) bringing across the own questions and confusion that the Elves feel about the whole mystery. I know there is a lot of room for improvement, and the story sprawls a lot, and I am working on making it more coherent. I really appreciate your pointing out bits that do not make sense, so keep the comments coming. Cheers. fael | |
| Lyn | Reviewed Chapter: 24 on 5/22/2006 |
| This was a rather interesting chapter! A conversation with not only one dragon, but two! Thank you for all the hours you have spent on what is a most intriguing and complicated but well written story. I envy your talent! Author Reply: Thank you, Lyn. Conversations with dragons, quite a novelty, no? | |
| Blaise | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 1/15/2006 |
| Happy New Year! Hope you had a wonderful hiatus! Wow...this chapter certainly did raise suspense but now I have to go back and re-read the whole story to try to clue together who's doing what! I was so looking forward to a new installment of this story and was hoping it would be soon...especially since you updated "White City". Well, I guess I'm off to re-read the previous chapters and then probably even go back and read Shadow I. I"m looking forward to the FF.net version as I'm pulling for Elrohir and Legolas. It's interesting how a person's perspective changes. I remember back when Shadows I began there was much speculation about a Essendri/ Legolas pairing and I wrote mentioning that I wouldn't really want to see that happening. But here I am much later pulling for a Legolas / Elrohir pairing. Waiting for your next installment... Author Reply: Yes I had a great time indeed, thanks! =) I hope re-reading makes some kind of sense, because there are times when I too get myself into a right little muddle! It's really good to know that you're thinking and wondering about what happens next. It's a pity I have to make 2 versions to comply with the non-slash regulations on some archives, but rest assured I have everything under control, and both should be nail-biting enough! =) x | |
| Lyn | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 11/24/2005 |
| Heh. Next time, he can fracture his lower leg and heal faster. Excellent story! Poor Glorfindel. Author Reply: Yes indeed! I do wish I'd thought of it before writing that bit in, because now I need to rearrange quite a lot of things! Maybe I could go back and make him un-break his leg? lol! Glad you like it, anyway! x | |
| Miss | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/16/2005 |
| Thx for this new chapter! I love this story! Author Reply: Thanks, Miss! =) I hope to update soon! | |
| Kitty | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 7/17/2005 |
| Hi I am excited to see that you have started posting this story. I have been sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for it! Only one chapter done and already i feel so sorry for poor Tranduil!! Author Reply: Hi Kitty, nice to see you here again! I hope you enjoy the rest of this story; I've got lots planned! =) x | |