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| Sacrifices by Ophium | 4 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| docmon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/23/2005 |
| Your attempt at first person is an astounding success! Your writing is exquisite, and filled with such wisdom, through Frodo, that I found myself trying to remember things to apply to my own life. The descriptions of his suffering with the Ring wrung my heart. But through it all, the beautiful writing overwhelmed me and amazed me. Bear with me here as I quote you! "my right hand finds its way to my heart. Only it isn’t my heart it seeks, but the one thing that is eating it up. Its round shape surrounds me from within, tightening its hold like an iron vice, preventing me from drawing breath." Beautiful description of the power of the Ring. I had never imagined it working on him in such a way. "My heart feels like a dried, old rock, no longer able to bleed. My hand grasps the round shape hanging from my neck and I can sense the pleasure of the Ring at being fondled, a sickening lust that both disgusts and calls to me. It is a comfort that consumes me, a lover that leaves me bleeding, and yet I can not avoid it." Wow. Evocative. Intense. Perfect words. And then there's this. These words I never want to forget. They go beyond this story, holding truth for all of us. "No, danger isn’t romantic at all. It is dirty, and it tastes of salt and blood and it makes your heart beat so strong and fast that you can feel it behind your eyes. It clouds your mind faster than wine and it makes you doubt your certainties and beliefs. It turns you in to a murder, in to a thief, in to a coward, in to anything that keeps you alive and your foe dead. And after the danger has pass, its lingering effects haunt you in your sleep, haunt you in your waking hours, never allowing you to forget. It’s like a rotten tooth in your mouth, eating you from inside, too painful to be touched. Heroes are tempered in danger, like iron is tempered in fire to be made stronger. Only I am no hero… I am a Hobbit, and the only effect that fire has on me is to burn. Heroes to me are folk like Aragorn, and Boromir, and Legolas and Gimli… and Gandalf. Even my cousins and Sam have it in them to be heroes, for who else would have volunteered to be by my side at this hour, other than heroes?" What more can be said? Author Reply: Wow! What can I say? Your words lifted my ego high up in to seventh cloud... The goofy smile I'm wearing right now will stay on my face for a long time :D Thank you! | |
| Daynawayna | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/21/2005 |
| WOW. That was.... wow. Deep, angsty-dark, profound.... Totally Frodo. Wow. If this is not someone you ususally write, I can't WAIT to read your Legolas fics. I'm just... wowed. I love how you showed that "rocks do cry". I didn't get how intricate that was until just now... dwarves=miners=rocks... amazing. (I'm also reading at work between phone calls, it's my excuse and I'm sticking with it!) I think I just might have a new author to add to my "must read" list! :) Author Reply: Thank you for your words! Very glad you like it :D I do hope to make it to your list, and not to worry, your excuse is very good ;) | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/20/2005 |
| This is very powerful writing. I especially love these passages: Clear voices singing unclear words whose meaning could never be misunderstood. Even my cousins and Sam have it in them to be heroes, for who else would have volunteered to be by my side at this hour, other than heroes? Beautifully done. Author Reply: Thank you! I can never tell if one thing will come out ok on first try, so your words are very encouraging. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/20/2005 |
| Very evocative, very true to the characters. I'd be glad to help edit it that it be fully worthy of the reading it will receive. Author Reply: Thank, for the words and the offer. I went over it one more time after reading your review and found some of things you talked about. If any was missed by me, I'll be glad to be told about further mistakes. | |