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Forlorn  by Levade 8 Review(s)
panzer71Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/23/2011
What a great story ! I loved it. Very creepy and mysterious,well written. I love this site and the authors like you that freely share your creativity. Thank you for this submission.

VirtuellaReviewed Chapter: 1 on 11/3/2008
You build up an excellent atmosphere, where the hostility of the land can be almost physically felt. The image of the deserted places, filled with residual evil and desperate ghosts is very chilling indeed.

Author Reply: Hello,

It was really easy to picture as I was writing. Thank you for letting me know it came across to you as well! :)
Levade

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 1 on 11/3/2008
I was very surprised to realize I had not left you fb at the challenge site! This is such an awesomely spooky story! I'll make up for it by reviewing in both places now!

I am not as familiar with the Silm as I should be. Yet I didn't need to know the exact provenance of every reference to understand the horror and to be pulled into the story. You made a great use of your reference! I think that description of Ungoliant is one of the creepiest things ever!

One of the things I loved about this was how much of the danger you were able to convey by the reactions of the horses--that was a masterstroke!

And the ending was so forlorn--just like the title!

Author Reply: Hi Dreamflower,

No worries, please! :) I have to thank you and the others for giving me the prompt that started this and got my mind on spiders. *g* I've owned (or been owned) by horses and they always let you know exactly what they're thinking...or not in some cases. Thanks again for the lovely review!
Levade

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 1 on 11/2/2008
Definitely one of the eeriest tales I've read this season, and so very well written. I found it fascinating to see the evil brought out of the innocence of Elured and Elurin.

Author Reply: Hi Larner,
I wasn't sure, in writing this, if I really wanted the reader to believe they were actually the twins or just evil messing with elves' minds. I left it to the reader, so it's been interesting to see how people interpret that. Thanks for the review and for reading!
Levade

Elena TirielReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2008
Oh. Dear.

*Barbara nervously looks over her shoulder*

Wow! This was indeed very, very, very, very creepy!

The tension built up so much by the end that I was ready to jump out of my skin.

I can really feel sorry for the survivor, Nólaquen, to see his friend be taken by Evil. He is lucky that the horses were clearly smarter than his friend....

Very nicely done, Levade! Thanks for a tale perfectly suited to All Hallow's Eve....

- Barbara

Author Reply: I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to have it be all that creepy! I'll have to warn next time, though scary isn't my usual style. :) Thank you for reading!

ElflingimpReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2008
Ewwwwwww!!!!!! Yes I liked it, while I was running away in terror!!! Happy Halloween Levade! Hugs The Imp

Author Reply: I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to be terrorizing readers. *hugs* Thanks for reading before you ran away *g*

Baggins BabeReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2008
The story of those two boys left in the forest to die has always haunted me and this was absolutely chilling. I think I'd have agreed with the horses and fled.

Poor Eruenvinyanto - he was mesmerised by them and lured to a terrible fate. *shiver* A wonderful and very creepy tale for Halloween.

Author Reply: They do have the saddest fate, don't they? It's *so* out of keeping with the norm for elves and children as well! Well, I've always thought the boys get a happy life some day in Aman. Thank you for reading!

FantasiaReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/31/2008
I liked, it is dark and scary. I suppose that the children were Dior's twin. left in the forest to die. A sad and tragic fate, and I haven't read another story using them as "zombies?" Hope that they souls had listening Namo's call and I wish the same for Eruenvinyanto.
Happy Halloween!

Author Reply: They were Dior's twin sons, or...well, I would rather think the real children's souls went to Mandos. Perhaps these were just some evil creatures of Melkor's? Thank you for reading!

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