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| While Hope Lasts by MP brennan | 37 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Linda Hoyland | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/11/2009 |
| Thorondir's death was heartrending. This was an excellent story,which shed new light on these oft told events and felt original.I look forward to more of your stories. | |
| Linda Hoyland | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 3/11/2009 |
| I'm glad they didn't kill Halpharn and his sister is recovering.It would be an interesting future story if an adukt Aragorn came across the outcast. By the way,if you give an unconcious person a drink,they choke.There is a doctor on LJ who discusses medical errors in stories and that is one she mentions the most often. I'm glad Gilraen is going to take Aragorn to Rivendell.I like your take on it as it seems very plausible. | |
| eldawisdom | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 2/14/2009 |
| I have read a few thousand fan fics (good, bad, and indifferent)and I have to tell you that you are a brilliant writer. From start to finish, you had my total attention. The interplay of relationships and feelings and the detail of the battles was very intense. You must keep writing. :) Take Care, Teri Author Reply: Thanks for the wonderful feedback! I'm glad to hear it kept your attention; pacing was one of the things I spent a lot of time on in this story, so it's good to know it paid off in the end. I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. -Brennan | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 2/13/2009 |
| I wasn't going to leave much of a review as I am still weeping... but seeing that this is the last chapter.... I very much liked this tale. Not only was it well written, it was gripping. The characters were well thought out and believable and the circumstances were all to plausible... I do so hope that we might 'see' some of these folk again in your writings. I'm putting your name in for notification for when you post something again. Many thanks for sharing this with us. *heavy sigh* Still trying to recover from such sorrow..... Author Reply: Yes, this is not a happy story, though I'd like to think it's a hopeful one. I'm glad you liked it despite the sorrow (or perhaps because of it?). As for the characters, they're all still running around in my head, so odds are good that they'll turn up in something I write in the future. Thanks for all your support. -Brennan | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/12/2009 |
| I rejoice Halpharn was given the chance to live and hopefully one day redeem himself--and perhaps you will one day write THAT story, too. And Laleth will at least be returned to her family--what remains of it. And one day the masked Man will be found--and dealt with! And the decision has been made, as painful as it is! I, too, have considered that part of the reason for the decision to take Aragorn to Imladris had to do with Dunedain being suborned and coerced to treason. But that they would use children so--all too plausible, I fear. Well done. Author Reply: Thanks for the awesome review! Yes, things are winding down in this story. I hope to write more with these characters somewhere down the road. A treacherous Ranger was part of the orginal conception for this story. It wasn't till later, as I was brainstorming Gilraen's motivations, that the corruption of a child came into play. I was trying to show Gilraen realizing that there are dangers to Dunedain kids that go beyond the fear that they might be killed. I hope you enjoy the conclusion which should be posted soon. -Brennan | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009 |
| What a chapter - Halpharn's fate is agonizing to watch, though I cannot blame the Dunedain for exiling him. They simply cannot afford an untrustworthy link in their chain. The boy is lucky; had he been older, he probably would have been executed. But it's terribly sad; he was young and now he'll be an exile all his life; a life that may not be too long. As far as concrit goes, there isn't much to give. The story is mostly riveting and well-written. I have two minor quibbles: (1)you use the adjective little in connection with small children (i.e. Laleth and Aragorn) a bit too often within a paragraph; the reader does not have to be reminded more than once that the child is little. Also, I couldn't understand why Scumbucket Herumor took Laleth with him, especially since she could barely stand up and even he thought that she wouldn't fetch much of a price in slave markets. I know that for the purposes of the plot, Herumor had to take Laleth with him on his horse so she could escape; but I thought there needed to be a better reason for it; since you pretty much established that she had become utterly useless to him. The only reasons I could think of are pretty horrible, but would make more sense to me. I'm so glad that Laleth escaped and will hopefully be reunited with her poor mother. What will Lothiriel think of her son Halpharn's being exiled as a traitor, I wonder? Very sad, but also realistic. I can certainly see why Gilrain wants to bring her little boy to a place that's as protected and peaceful as Imladris; there's only so much the poor young woman can take. Author Reply: Thanks for a wonderful review and some great concrit! Word repetition is one of the major things I struggle with in my writing, maybe because I write in short bursts and then forget to go back and make everything cohesive. As for Herumor taking Laleth, I wish I had taken more time to develop that, but I didn't want to weigh the plotline down. My thinking at the time was that he wanted a hostage in case the Rangers caught up with him--they'd be less likely to shoot at him if there was a danger of killing one of their own kids. Though, he is twisted enough to take pleasure in more horrible uses that I can't bring myself to describe here. I'm glad you enjoyed this chap! Thanks for all the feedback! -Brennan | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009 |
| Hmmmm - great chapter and I loved Gilraen's final reason for taking Aragorn to Imladris.... I'm not sure if the boy really could have survived the branding without becoming unconscious and I really cannot see the pain easing so quickly - no matter Ranger remedies... even an iron burn on the hand lasts forever... at least IMHO. I think the poor boy should have been executed - for mercy's sake. To leave him in the wild and banished.... just my own feeling. Great chapter as I said above. Well worth reading! Author Reply: Thanks for another wonderful review! Yes, the remedy was a small example of reality sacrificed on the altar of plot development. To get the tone of the scene right, it was important that he leave at that point, and I couldn't see Rangers banishing a child--even a traitor--if he were seriously hurt. On the other hand, there is evidence that ancients had much higher pain threshold that we novacaine-pampered people, so that, coupled with his heritage as a Dunedain (hardiest of all living Men) may explain how he bounced back so quickly. I wondered, as well, whether an execution might have been more plausible, but in the end I couldn't see them doing it. Not to a child; there is always hope for a child. I tried to write him as being *almost* at the age of self-sufficiency. As a Ranger-to-be, he would have received lots of training in wilderness survival and navigation. So, while he won't have a fun time, they weren't sending him to a slow death out there. Thanks again for a great, thought-provoking review! -Brennan | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/11/2009 |
| Though my heart goes out to Gilraen - it is totally taken in concern for the two children.............. Yikes! Author Reply: Yes, I did put them in quite a spot, didn't I? Though, as you saw in the next chap, I could quite bring myself to completely destroy them. I love my characters, but I wouldn't be surprised if they hate me most of the time. Thanks for reading! -Brennan | |
| Envinyatar | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2009 |
| I'm loving this. You've really brought Gilraen to life, and your original characters are very convincing. The judgment scene was well done. I could feel Arandur's pain at what seems to be the only possible verdict. Dare we hope that Aragorn might encounter Halpharn at some later date... Looking forward to the end of this and many more stories from you. Author Reply: Thanks for the lovely review! I'm glad you're enjoying these characters, especially the slew of OC's. Re Aragorn meeting Halpharn . . . that would be an interesting meeting, wouldn't it? The muse has been stewing over it for a while, so we'll see if anything comes of it. Thanks again for the support, and I hope you keep reading! -Brennan | |
| Samara | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/10/2009 |
| Aaaaaaaaand...you made me cry again. God, that poor girl, and although I cannot look favorably upon his actions, that boy did what he did in defense of her. It's an unpleasant business all round I do suppose. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Things are moving swiftly now and I am eager to see how they are concluded. Magnificent job. Author Reply: Aw, don't cry! Well, okay, maybe cry--I did when I was writing this. It is indeed an unpleasant business, but I see it as one of those harsh realities the Dunedain have to face. Editing is moving swiftly as well, so I may have the conclusion up as early as tomorrow. I hope you enjoy! -Brennan | |