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A White Shell  by Celeritas 3 Review(s)
LarnerReviewed Chapter: 11 on 7/1/2013
So wonderful to see this updated again at last, Celeritas! Delightful to see the family beginning to make it up at last, and for her to learn of her father, if obliquely. And Tom is still Tom. Oh, dear, her birthday presents to him are so intended to prod at him! He needs to realize that not all to do with reading and writing will drag her away from him, and he might just come closer to her in a positive way if he learns, also.

Author Reply: Thanks for the review! And Kira does love to prod Tom, doesn't she?

If the family's making up, it really is just the beginning stages. Kira at least hasn't ever borne any ill-will toward them, and Mother's allowing this in large part because Kira has a point about their financial support. But hopefully it's a first step.

DreamflowerReviewed Chapter: 11 on 7/1/2013
At last!

For some reason I kept getting logged out when I tried to review. Very odd. But it's not just SoA--some of my other sites were doing that too. *shakes head and blames Titivilus*

This is a great chapter to begin with, after a hiatus. There are enough bits to remind the reader of what was going on before, but not overwhelmingly so, and while the story (and Kira) are still in "waiting mode" for the wedding, you are moving forward with the character development quite well.

Kira and her mother are getting along much better still, in spite of Kira's continuing dishonesty and Rosemary's preferring to interpret things her way. I was pleased to see her defend her mother and her upbringing to her father's relatives.

I can't help but wonder, though, what Tom has told her mother. Will it improve things or make them worse? Knowing Tom, I'm guessing the latter, especially given Rosemary's hints afterwards.

I have to keep reminding myself of how young Kira is. A way in which you were quite brilliant with this was showing her reactions to her father's diary; her impatience with the "tweenishness" of it all only underscores her own "tweenishness" if she but knew it!

Still, I find myself dreading the wreckage that is inevitable when her mother finally understands how much and for how long her daughter's been deceiving her!

Author Reply: Yeah, SoA has a tendency to boot people out for reviewing.

The "waiting mode" chapters are really tough to write, because they still have to have some sense of direction and I don't always know what that is as I'm writing it. So I'm glad you sensed the characters moving forward.

I'm also really glad that Kira is coming across as young and inexperienced, because a lot of literature dealing with adolescents treats them as mini-adults. Protagonists should be allowed to be stupid--although they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it forever.

As for what Tom has or hasn't said... well, that's for a later chapter, isn't it?

goldvermilion87Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 6/29/2013
Way to get my hopes up about Tom!

But I really like the subtle way you're working in Kira's history. And I love her dad's diary.

Author Reply: Anytime. :)

And in two chapters, Kira's dad's diary is going to get reeeeeal interesting.

Thanks for the review!!

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