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|If you don’t mean it, don’t say it! by Laikwalâssê||5 Review(s)|
|Rose613||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/13/2014|
A great first story and a great Bible verse for it!
Author Reply: thank you, Asley. The bible verse fits perfectly, or? Thanks for a most appreciated review. Lai
|Agape4Gondor||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/9/2012|
|While waiting for the next 'Revolution chapter, I decided to read some of your earlier works.|
This was quite good. The emotions were well written, but not to the point where they were over the top. I liked Estel's grief. I liked ALL the ill-spoken words. They created a depth to the story.
One tiny quibbke, easy to fix. You have Estel being wounded, yet Elrond does nothing. When Legolas meets Estel, he looks for wounds and finds none. One easy fix, don't have him be wounded. Have him duck the bliw. That way, you only have to change one thing instead of many.
I'll sit back now and wait for the next installment of Revolution.
Again, this was a great read.
Author Reply: thank you so much for the review and the hint. I will quickly fix it. I´m glad the emotions worked, giving the story depth. I´m sorry that you have to wait so long for the next chapter of Revolution. The whole story is already written but my beta reader is taking his time and so we have to wait but the next chapter is almost up. Glad you have so much patience. I really appreciate it. Lai
|Jay of Lasgalen||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/22/2009|
|You write the angst and drama of this very well, particularly as English isn't your first language. There are a couple of minor errors - relieve instead of relief for example - but the story is well written. |
As a twins fan I like the way you show the bond between them, but I do feel Elrohir would be doing more to help his brother. He seemed a bit useless here.
Author Reply: thank you so much for the review, I really appreciate it especially from you, because I like your stories very much and I think we share the same love for the twins and their relation to each other. Thank you for pointing out my errors, but it´s really difficult for me and I´m trying hard to get better. In backsight you are right Elrohir could have done more, but it´s also my first exploration of their bond and this will also improve, I promise *g*. My next story is on the way and it is again centered on the twins, albeit as little children. Hope to see you there. Again thank you for the time to write.
|Mysterious Jedi||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/21/2009|
|Sweet fic, I enjoyed it. Good moral, too!|
Author Reply: thank you so much MJ. I´m happy you enjoyed it. Good moral is very important to me and I´m glad it worked. Lai
|Erulisse||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/21/2009|
|A very cute story and very impressive since English isn't your first language. There are a few errors of syntax, grammar and a couple of wrong words (inferred by meaning and the remainder of the sentence). If you would like, feel free to Email me and I will send you a detail of what I would correct to make things appropriate for English syntax. All in all, a pleasure to read on a busy morning. I look forward to more stories by you. |
Author Reply: Erulisse, thank you so much for your kind review and my first review at all. I would be very glad for your help. Since I´m very new to all this here, how can I contact you? I will post more stories soon. Lai