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Shire: Beginnings  by Lindelea 127 Review(s)
Lyta PadfootReviewed Chapter: 31 on 1/28/2004
Young Bilbo is adorable! Wonder what the Watcher would have thought of Frodo or Pippin. Good to know Pickthorn is remembered. Still curious as to who Pick marries, but maybe we'll find that out in the next story.

Author Reply: I'm sure the Watcher would have been quite taken with Frodo or Pippin. Oddly enough, I write them as very similar though 21 years apart, or something like that. I think that comes from the mental pictures I formed of the hobbits when I read through LOTR decades ago, even though Frodo was "taller and fairer than most" and Pippin (before the Ent draughts) was the smallest of the hobbits in the Fellowship.

In any event, the Watcher would have appreciated their curiosity and courage and bright spirits.

The next story starts 150 years later. There's some mention of the hobbits from this story, but it is their great-great-great(-great?) grandchildren who make the decision to leave their homeland and start again in Bree.

VefinielReviewed Chapter: 22 on 1/28/2004
The timeline on this last section of chapters - with Pick with the wizards, and Blackthorn as the new Thorn - strikes me as being rather odd. It seems as if only a very short time has passed in the Pick chapters, but a great many months has passed in the other section.

Other than that oddity, this story is living up to it's promise very nicely. I really like the way you've had the hobbits give Gandalf his name, even if I don't think it very likely that that is where it came from it is still a nice idea. I also like that you've had Gandalf pick up smoking from the hobbits at this time, and that does seem likely (I think that might be a later chapter, but I've read farther than this and just gone backwards to review due to the oddity that I noticed).

Author Reply: Perhaps I will have to add more time clues.

In the timeline for the story (doing this from memory, might make a small error or two), Pick falls from the mountain three days before Thorn's fight to the death. He passes those three days hiding under/behind a pile of game in the eagle's nest. When the blizzard blows itself out for the Fallohides, it is also that first clear day when Pick looks out of the nest into the shadowy valleys.

While Thorn and the rest of the hunters are running back to intercept the orcs, and during the battle (which took some time, perhaps it is written as too abrupt and I may have to throw in more time clues, such as the sun moving across the sky), the rest of the Fallohides are "high-tailing it" down the trail to the trees, where they take refuge that night. When no orcs come, they descend from the trees in the morning and start the search for Imladris, which is "on the way" to Rhudaur when I look at the map in "Atlas". They search, but cannot find the valley. It might take them several days to reach the Ford and cross over, looking for woodland. They find the forest quickly--but it is in Rhudaur. Blackthorn divides the People into manageable groups and they find shelter in a series of brambles. They are here for less than a week before Elladan discovers them, but long enough for several of the hidden groups to be found and slaughtered by hunters of Rhudaur.

Meantime, just after Thorn dies, Pick is taken up by the father eagle and the eagles discover he is a "speaking creature". The eagle takes him to Gandalf (eagles have very keen eyes, I'm thankful to say, but who knows how long he circled before he saw the wizards? Certainly they heard only a few cries, but that doesn't mean the eagle was flying only a short time. Once more, perhaps the story needs more time clues).

When dropped off, Pick is in very bad shape. The wizards may have nursed him for some time (have to look at the timeline, I didn't drop any time references in this section because I had misplaced the timeline and didn't want to recreate it at the time; was in a writing mood and those are not to be taken for granted!) before Gandalf went off "looking for trouble". And I'm not sure how long he was gone on his scouting trip. Could expand it to allow for passage of more time.

Remember that the Fallohides travelled for weeks, climbing into the mountains, and making the crossing. (Now, this might not be clear in the story, though looking at the map or reading the journey in The Hobbit such a duration makes sense. I might have to put in some sort of reference to "days and days".) They were only a day's journey from coming out of the mountains again when the orcs caught up with them. It would have taken Gandalf and Pick some time to reach the battle pass, even mounted on a swift stag. Again, perhaps I wrote too carelessly and need to flesh out this section a bit.

Your comments have given me food for thought. Thanks!



Author Reply: p.s. I forgot to mention that they begin the crossing of the mountains in early summer, I think, and the action with Pick falling and the battle with the orcs takes place in late summer/early autumn (the snowstorm that buries the bodies is the first storm of winter, effectively closing the high pass to travellers, so it probably takes place mid-to-late September or early October. The People are in Rhudaur for only a short time in autumn before Elladan finds them.

VefinielReviewed Chapter: 9 on 1/28/2004
Well, this story seems promising so far. I do have one question though. Do you know how similar Holly's saying "Hail Brother! We who are but children salute thee." sounds to the gladiator's "Hail Caesar! We who are about the die salute thee." ? Is this intentional on your part, or a coincidence?

Author Reply: Sorry for the delay in replying. I thought I had answered this already but apparently haven't.

Yes, it was intentional. It just seemed the right thing to say at the time... though of course Holly wouldn't know about gladiators or such things.

I bet "eat drink and be merry" would be a common saying among hobbits, don't you?

Thanks for the comments!

Pearl TookReviewed Chapter: 31 on 1/28/2004
Ah! "Beginnings"! Oh yes. I can hardly wait to continue this journey we have all begun! You have captured me with your epic tale.

Pearl Took

Author Reply: Thanks, Pearl. Do you think readers would be too confused if one of the heroes in the next part is named "Sam"? (For some reason Samson Roper, the son of Samneth Roper, great-grandson, I think, of Beechnut the Roper of the Fallohides) is winking at me from across the room. I keep telling him his name ought to be Sandy Roper, but hobbits can be awfully stubborn as you know.

FantasyFanReviewed Chapter: 31 on 1/28/2004
I like the epilogue. To see Bilbo when he was so young, before any of his adventures, is quite a treat. Here it seems that Somebody has sparked that little Tookish part of him, long before Gandalf set it ablaze. I'm not sure that the chapter fits here, as Part I does not bring them to the Shire proper, but it is an adorable little vignette. Though, it does remind me of the visions the Old Thorn had just before his death, where he could see his line continued in our heroes.

Author Reply: The prologue and epilogue are bookends of a sort, or perhaps endpapers in a book, meant to contain the tale. Yes, that echo of the Old Thorn's visions was deliberate. Perhaps I was too subtle or the tale ran too long, but you're supposed to think of the grandfather in the prologue when you read the epilogue, and wonder if perhaps this is the Old Took telling tales to young Bilbo, even though it could be any Tookish grandfather and grandson the way it's written.

This last chapter was one of the first written. I had thought to leave it off, but Pearl's plaintive inquiry about hobbits reaching the Shire made me reconsider. Since I don't know how long it'll take me to get the hobbits to the Shire (this story has taken the better part of a year to write), I thought I'd offer a bit of hope.

Also, since Pick and Thorn aren't planned to appear in any future instalments (the next is set about 150 years later, when they are dust and perhaps a memory lingering in stories told to the great-grandkids), the Elf's momentary arrest over Bilbo's resemblance to those hobbits wouldn't make sense if I put it in one of the later parts.

Thanks for taking the time to comment!

Lyta PadfootReviewed Chapter: 30 on 1/27/2004
The Harfoots sound like wonderful folk to live with. I loved the 'welcome cousins' remark. Very hobbity. Regarding Gandalf, the sources don't say he didn't know anything about hobbits or had never visited them, only that he didn't consider them all that interesting as a people until 1158. You could get around that by saying Gandalf thought the Fallohides (a very small group) interesting but other hobbits not so and after 1158 he realized how special all were.

Author Reply: That sounds workable! Whew. What a relief. I hate having something turn out AU when I've put in so much research to fit it into the restrictions of canon. It would help if I had every single book about or by JRRT, but... ah well. Must apply some of the budget to food after all.

Still, have put Unfinished Tales on my list.

Pearl TookReviewed Chapter: 30 on 1/27/2004
Lindelea,

Am I right in thinking this has them to the Bree area? Or am I nuts?

"Not that I am going to go back and belabor the point and write it in, but am thinking about those readers (like me) who are sticklers for accuracy in the details. Poor souls." *raising my hand* Me, me! I'm one, and thank you for the pity/sympathy. And with my writing as well, I wonder if I'll ever be able to do a story without a bunch of research.

This is so marvelous. A noble endevor well carried out! Thank you for writing this story.

Pearl Took


Author Reply: Thank you so much, Pearl. Be sure to check back for the last chapter sometime today or tomorrow. It's in draft form, I just have to type it in. I'd like your opinion as to whether it ices the cake nicely or ought to be left off.

No, they are not yet in Bree, though that is the assumption I made when I started out to write this story. My research revealed that the hobbits first settled in or near the Angle where the Hoarwell and Loudwater (Bruinen) join (though some of the Stoors settled as far southwest as Tharbad in Dunland). In 1300, growing danger offered by Angmar (remember the Witch King? I think he comes in here but since I don't have my notes in front of me I cannot say with certainty exactly when he takes up residence) forced the hobbits to move again, and this is when they came to Bree.

Thus they had only about 150 years in this lovely valley... but that's another story, I think.

Thank you for reading and commenting!

Lyta PadfootReviewed Chapter: Epilogue 2 on 1/27/2004
Thought I'd let you know that Gandalf doesn't consider Hobbits "interesting" and "began to have a warm place for them" in his heart only he visits the Shire during the Days of Dearth SR 1158-60. Its in the unfinished tales (pg 331) and referenced in the prologue to FOTR and the Tale of Years.

Also pg 287 of the "Unfinished Tales" refers to Harfoots being known to the rulers of Arnor, then later Stoors and Fallohides. It says they were called halflings because when compared to the tall Numenorians (for halfling was the name the Numenorians gave to them) they were half the size. Their existence within the North-kingdoms was well known but no hobbit until Pippin ever visited Gondor and they were considered fairy-tale like creatures. If you haven't the UT you might want to get it since it details Saruman's involvement in the Shire very well (and it goes back quite a ways!).



Author Reply: Ah. Sounds like a good resource. I will have to seek it out. Looks as if "Shire" might have to be labelled "AU" after all. I saw the reference in the Tale of Years that said Gandalf had come to the aid to the hobbits in the Days of Dearth, but that in itself did not imply to me that such was the beginning of his interest in them. I have not found mention of Gandalf in the Prologue, though the Days of Dearth were mentioned there. Of course sometimes I read too quickly.

I was fascinated this month to re-read The Hobbit and find that Gandalf was a "good friend" of the Old Took! Food for thought...

Author Reply: Oops. Meant to comment on the Harfoots and Arnor.

I do have the Harfoots being well-known to the ruler(s) of Cardolan (they came over the mountains a hundred years previous, after all, and settled in that land), and soon the Fallohides and Stoors will be known as well. And later, of course, when they move westward they will become known to the king(s) of Arthedain. For all I know, the "current" king of Arthedain (in 1150-something) has already met Harfoots while on a visit to Cardolan.

UT must be referring to the rulers of divided Arnor, for the hobbits did not even appear West of the mountains until centuries after Arnor was divided. In any event, the king of Rhudaur in "Shire" is certainly familiar with them though he refuses to admit they are people.

Lyta PadfootReviewed Chapter: 28 on 1/27/2004
With a king like that to highlight their growing evil it is no wonder the kingdom fell. At least Thorn got his safe passage. I hope there are no difficulties.

Author Reply: No, not too many difficulties, and there are more safeguards in place now. Just a background note: I am thinking of the watchers who guarded the Shire and Bree-land, and how that whole business got started. Perhaps the Elves watched over the hobbits (secretly of course) until Arthedain fell, and then the Rangers became involved. Dunno. Just speculating. The story is winding down and the Fallohides are nearly home. (See "The Last Leg")

Pearl TookReviewed Chapter: 150 on 1/25/2004
First off: This is just too awesome. It is magnificent, a masterpiece!!!!!

Second: I'm horrid because I've not kept up with reading this, and you have begun to fall into despair from lack of responses. I'm extremely sorry.

Third: I pray you are planning to finish this. I love the hobbits and I love the Shire. While I'm writing one of her darkest times I am thrilled to be reading your story of her birth. I won't abandon you again. Please continue, I will endure the wait.

Thank you for this wonderful tale!

Pearl Took

P.S. I just knew Pick would be tied to Pippin, but how nice to have him tied (and most logically so) to Pippin, Merry and Frodo all three!!!

Author Reply: Thank you for the review! We all get busy. There are a couple of fics I was following and got sidetracked from as well. I need to get back to them!

I was wondering if this story had lost its way because the number of readers was down, yes, but also because those who were reading had no comments at all. Did I stun them speechless? Or leave them yawning... difficult to tell, when reviews are the only feedback you get.

Writing one of the Shire's darkest times? Would that be "When we Dwelt in Fear"? Now that I've finished Freddy's story (my editor is dealing with it now, whew), I can finally dip into that story of yours! Hurrah!

Thanks for the encouragement.

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