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| That Which We Are by Avon | 33 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2004 |
| You do details so wonderfully, Avon. I can see the silent dining room and the good food. And the way you show us things through Eomer's eyes is so well done. He can't understand the conversation between Theodred and Denethor but we can. I feel rather bad that he misjudges Faramir so, but I can see why it would happen. Just a great chapter. Author Reply: Gee, thank you! I', really pleased that you noticed the food as it was a big drama for me when I had to write it - I often try to avoid those sort of details for fear of getting it wrong. It's hard (IMO) to come up with things that sound appropriately M-e. I'm also really pleased to hear that the point of the Denethor-Theodred conversation was obvious - I should have more faith in my readers but I was concerned that no-one would get it. Thanks for the feedback, Avon | |
| Muinthel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2004 |
| well well...finally an update!! I just love the way you characterize Faramir. He is one of my fav. characters and I like it that we get to know him more and more through the eyes of Eomer. It will be fun to experience more of the city and the gondorian way with Eomer...! I'll stay with your story!!! And do not be nervous...just stay true to your style!! Author Reply: I'd like to say the next update will happen more quickly... but I was brought up to not lie ;-) I hope it will but the next three weeks are quite packed already - plus I'm not terribly sure what happens next ;-) There's a possibility it will be a short chapter so it might be faster. I am enjoying it - I like the characters and I'm finding discovering Minas Tirith to be fun - but I still find it scary, knowing people are waiting to see what happens next. Ah the pressure! How so the big authors cope? ;-) Avon | |
| Chibi_kaz | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2004 |
| Hmm. I certainly hope there's more to this story. I can see where Eomer would admire Boromir, and not understand Faramir. Perhaps you can jump ahead in time, so we can see Eomer's reaction to the news of Boromir's death, and even more so, his reaction to his beloved sister marrying the silent and stern Gondorian..... Author Reply: I certainly hope there's more to this story. Lack of plot is one fo the defining features of my stories, I'm afraid (I write PWP without the porn ;-)) so there won't be much more in terms of action or anything. In terms of emotional development and relationship development I certainly hope to have a fair bit happen though I think it will continue to happen slowly. Perhaps you can jump ahead in time, so we can see Eomer's reaction to the news of Boromir's death, and even more so, his reaction to his beloved sister marrying the silent and stern Gondorian..... We're getting there - eventually ;-) The last chapter, on current planning will be set near the end of the Ring War. Thanks for the feedback, Avon | |
| Elvenesse | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2004 |
| I really like this story. It doesn't seem very beta to me, the characterisations are good and I like having it from Eomer’s point of view and experiencing his feelings of insecurity (it reminded me of having meals with my headmaster, luckily we didn’t have alcohol). I wasn’t reading it to be critical, but then again I don’t manage that very well anyway. Author Reply: Thank you! :-) I'm even more nervous than usual with this story because it is unusual for me so I really appreciate the reassurance. If it wasn't for trying to find an Eomer story I could write for Nessime's birthday I would never have thought of writing from his POV but I am enjoying finding him through it. Avon | |
| Muinthel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/10/2004 |
| That was a beautiful start and I felt like somebody took my book away - so I can not read the rest - at the end of the chapter. I like the idea that Theodred and Boromir where "friends" and I just love the way you let Faramir open up to see someoneelse liking books as much as he does. It will be exciting to find out how much Eomer grows at this visit...and how many of his prejudices will be thrown over. And as ever - I just love a good story about Boromir and Faramir....so can't wait to read more! Author Reply: Hi Muinthel, Thank you for the feedback - sorry I am so long in replying to it but RL won ;-) At least I have finally now given you the next bit of the 'book' ;-) I like the idea that Theodred and Boromir where "friends" I can see this never finsishing because I'm falling for these characters so much - I don't think I'm going to like the ending at all, which will be set near the end of the Ring War so the older two will be dead.... Thanks again, Avon | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/4/2004 |
| Oops!!! My sincerest apologies, Avon! I didn't realize that this was the first chapter in a multi-chapter story. Please, please try to ignore my comments about the ending line of the chapter. They weren't justified. | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/4/2004 |
| This was a different type of story from what I've come to expect from you, Avon. Much more traditional fare. Still, your unique style comes through. You are possibly the first writer to depict a character who does not take an instant liking to Faramir. You sell Eomer's dislike for the "Gondorian Gentleman" very convincingly. I could easily see why the young Rohirrim would dislike Faramir. You asked for opinions on characterizations. I thought Theodred and Boromir were somewhat similar. However, I believe that was intentional, to explain their friendship and show kindred spirits. Other than that, I felt each character had a distinct personality. The way Faramir opened up once he realized he had met another scholar was especially nice. If I have any niggles with this work, it's the ending. It didn't feel as strong to me as some of your other pieces have felt. Ending midway through events with a sharp, smart tag line is viable way to end a story. But Eomer's joke about the nurse raising Theodred wasn't strong enough support the story end, I felt. I think it's the actual line she raised you, didn’t she? that doesn't work for me as opposed to the joke itself. It's like the punchline doesn't offer enough punch. However, let me reemphasize that I liked this story. It was a different look at Gondor's most famous brothers and at Eomer. I'm not usually a Gondor / Rohan reader, but this story kept me very interested. Author Reply: This was a different type of story from what I've come to expect from you, Avon. Much more traditional fare. Still, your unique style comes through. *grins* You know when I was writing this - and I didn't set out to write a more traditional story, just to try and write some sort of Eomer story for a friend's birthday - one of the many things that gave me cold feet was you! I thought 'LKK will be disappointed 'cause she's said she likes that my stories are different' ;-) Silly - you might not even have read it - but I was just apnicking about ti being more conventional. ;-) Anyway, I'm sure I'll be back to doing something odd shortly ;-) You are possibly the first writer to depict a character who does not take an instant liking to Faramir. You sell Eomer's dislike for the "Gondorian Gentleman" very convincingly. I could easily see why the young Rohirrim would dislike Faramir. *grin* I keep waiting for legions of Faramir fangirls to leap through my window and strangle me. Seriously, I love Faramir and I do worry about making him too unlikeable - but I think no matter how noble he is we can allow him a few weeks of grumpiness. He's only 23 and in that ghastly not still sick but not yet well state - and he's got a pretty major problem on his mind. I thought Theodred and Boromir were somewhat similar. However, I believe that was intentional, to explain their friendship and show kindred spirits. Yeah, it's tricky - I wnat them to be similar enough that their frienship seems feasible - but I also want Faramir to be more like Theodred and Eomer to be more like Boromir. If I have any niggles with this work, it's the ending. I know when you wrote that you didn't realise that it was a chapter ending, rather than a story ending - but I think it is still probably true-ish. Most often when I write a story I start by knowing my ened line and I write towards that. This sin't working that way - it's more me meandering along going 'Ending, ending.... here nice little ending...." ;-) Thank you very much for your feedback - as always it was wonderful and detailed. I much appreciate the support. My apaologies for the lateness of this reply - RL *sigh* Avon | |
| Tathar | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/2/2004 |
| What a fantastic beginning! Though my greatest love is for hobbits, I have a special fondness for Eomer, Theodred and Boromir, too. I love your portrayal of them! Eomer is just how I would imagine him to be at 15, Theodred is perfect, the in-control older brother that I'm sure he would have been to Eomer, and Boromir is just right. His friendship with Theodred was an added treat! Faramir was well-done, too -- bookish and so different from his father and brother. I'm eagerly awaiting your portrayal of Denethor -- he should be interesting. Well done, I can't wait for more! Author Reply: Thank you very much, Tathar. This is a story I am very nervous about so it really helped to know that it was working for some people. My apologies for being so late in replying to this - RL keeps winning. ;-) I'm eagerly awaiting your portrayal of Denethor -- he should be interesting. Ooooh...*goes and hides under the lounge* Lots of people said that - and I don't know I've lived up to it... Anyway, thanks again, Avon | |
| Antigone_Q | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/2/2004 |
| Very nice! I like the way you've written Eomer, and his reactions to Gondor. Yes, I think all the characterizations were done well, and are sufficiently different from one another. And I thought the dialogue was very real, and flowed well. I can't wait to see more of this! Author Reply: Thanks a bunch, Antigone. I am sorry to be so late in replying - RL job commitments. That's also mostly why the update is so late but at least it fianlly got there. Avon | |
| Elena Tiriel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/1/2004 |
| Oops - obviously should have read the story before commenting, but yes, I think it's believable that the grandson of Thengel could read *Sindarin*, too. I love your Boromir! so boisterous and testosterony... "and you can entertain this heathen warrior who thinks books are only good for archery practise.” “I was eight!” Éomer said indignantly as Boromir laughed. I really did laugh out loud there! Grass was for horses to eat and around a house was simply a waste of good growing space. Such a Rohirric POV. I never thought of it quite like that... “[Freawaru] is probably accustomed to dealing with nurselings that squeal and wiggle!” “Yes,” said Éomer, rubbing his smarting scalp as Théodred began work on his own brown hair, ‘she raised you, didn’t she?” This is brilliant! I think your dialog is very well-written, sounds realistic, and really shows the similarities and differences between the characters. This is a terrific story, Avon! I really enjoyed reading it, and hope to see more very soon. - Barbara Author Reply: Oops - obviously should have read the story before commenting, but yes, I think it's believable that the grandson of Thengel could read *Sindarin*, too. Your comments were pretty much exactly how I saw the situation. I'd expect both Eomer and Theodred to speak at least a little Sindarin - because Grandmother (who in this version helped bring Theodred up) definitely would have. Theodred, in this version, is pretty much another Faramir-as-he-is-often-portrayed - a natural scholar who loves learning. If Grandmother could teach him how to read Sindarin then he would have wanted to learn it. Eomer on the other hand wouldn't have really had the interest. I love your Boromir! so boisterous and testosterony... Thank you - I am conscious that there is a reasonable amount of Sean Bean/Peter Jackson's Boromir slipping in there - but I must admit I am becoming rather fond of him. The way you;ve described him is just how I wnt him to be seen so thank you for that. Grass was for horses to eat and around a house was simply a waste of good growing space. Such a Rohirric POV. I never thought of it quite like that... Oddly enough this idea actually came from stories about English villages in the 1950s and Italian migrants to Australia also in the 1950s, but it seemed logical for my Rohirrim. This is brilliant! I think your dialog is very well-written, sounds realistic, and really shows the similarities and differences between the characters. Crumbs! Thank you - I am very paranoid about my dialogue. Cheers, Avon | |