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| Along Came A Spider by Jay of Lasgalen | 113 Review(s) |
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| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004 |
| Good heavens, what place to end it! The death of the other warrior must have been terrifying for Elladan. I liked the sudden arrival of Legolas -- straight from patrol but having to report to his father. It gave a sense of life going on elsewhere that was strange in the midst of Elrohir's suffering. Author Reply: Nólimon's death really brought it home to Elladan that his brother could also die. And yet while he concentrates on Elrohir, life goes on around him. As you say, it's a strange feeling. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004 |
| No! Elrohir! You can't do that. Elladan needs you - you have to go back! Tell Namo to leave you alone. Elladan - use your bond with him. He won't consent to go if he remembers what it will do to you! Stinking spiders. Don't like them. Don't like any creepy crawlies much. Except ladybirds. They're all right. And butterflies. Oh all right then, I suppose you have to have creepy crawlies. Author Reply: I'm very glad we don't have poisonous spiders in the UK - the big ones that come in from the garden in damp autumns (like now!) are bad enough :( Poor Elrohir. Poor Elladan. This is not good. | |
| ettalie | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2004 |
| "their bite is nearly always fatal"...I'm hanging on to that "nearly always". Author Reply: Yes - hold to that thought. And 'a few have survived'. I'm not promising anything, though - the next chapter is not looking good for either of the twins. :-( Thanks for reviewing! | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| I was doing some very sad sums the other day, trying to work out the twins ancestry - they truly are related to everybody! And descended from most of them. This was partly because of the bit of me that says, every time they are called half-elven - 'Oh no they're not. If Elrond is half-elven and Celebrian is wholly elven, then the children are three quarters-elven.' I am perfectly willing to accept having got lost on the ancestry, because it is . . complicated, but I think that they are more Sindar (about 40%)than Noldor (about 9%)- and only 19% human. The rest being made up of Teleri, Vanya and Maia. But hey - brought up Noldor, away from trees. Author Reply: Don't worry, Bodkin - I've done the same calculations. I agree - the twins are NOT half elven, they are at least three-quarters elf. By my own calculations, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen have Sindar, Noldor, Numenorean and Maiar blood (Arwen admits they are 'mongrels' in one story) and are also 'kin to every elven realm in Arda, and several realms of men' (Thranduil then says it is as well they are not overly ambitious - for obvious reasons!) It is sad, but I find their mixed ancestry very interesting! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Jay! I can't believe you hurt Elrohir again! I hate the spiders - have you ever seen Ted Nasmith's drawing of them? They are truly creepy. Good Octobor story for Halloween. Author Reply: I know - poor Elrohir. I just can't help torturing him, and I like to torment Elladan with worry for him. I've seen those drawings - they do look horrible. I'm not sure what sort of spider the Gorliante resemble, or even how big they are - how big is 'giant?' | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Oh, very well done. I like that the twins are taking care when riding in an unfamiliar environment. I like their surprise at seeing the two Wood-elves drop from nowhere -- they are of a different kind of Elf, and it really shows here. I like that the twins need an explanation of what the spiders do; they can't know everything about the dangers of Mirkwood, after all, and I thought that the diagnosis and prognosis for Nólimon: “The poison causes intense pain. Agonising pain. There is usually a very high fever, hallucinations and convulsions. Death – death comes as a mercy. If you have drugs that will ease his pain, or make him oblivious, that will be the best you can do.” was very well done. Short, to the point, and it acknowledges that there are things even Elvish medicine can't do. The ending was also very well done. Everyone's reactions to the event seemed natural and unforced, especially Elladan's disbelieving repetition of "It bit you." And you used one of my favorite writing tricks: you described physical sensation clearly and graphically as a metaphor for mental confusion. I always like that. It really puts the reader in the character's skin without drowning in waves of angst. Author Reply: The twins are mostly Noldor, and they can still be startled at a demonstration of a wood-elf's affinity with trees. They have strong links to their own realm (as Elrohir proved with the Bruinen), but are less familiar with Mirkwood - or Lasgalen! Thanks to Amandil's graphic description, we (and the twins) all know what's in store for poor Elrohir - had Amandil known, he would have watered it down. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank for the final comments - I'm glad it worked. | |
| DeepBlueSomething | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Yikes! You really should put some sort of medical warning on that cliffie! That was a bad one! Anyway, I'm really glad you decided to write this. The implications of that drabble were just too much to ignore. I look forward to the massive angst in the future of this story. Please update soon. Author Reply: You already know from the drabble that things aren't good for Elrohir. It unleashed so many ideas I had to write it - and I used your suggestion that he saved Elladan, so there will be much guilt and angst ahead. But you knew that anyway. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/30/2004 |
| Oh no - Elrohir has been bitten saving his brother. What a build up of tension. The feeling of unease and anxiety. And enough explanation of those wretched spiders to get us really worried. That bit of foresight was a trick - we are both tending him, indeed. Just to make us think that neither of the twins is damaged this time - and then, poor Elrohir! More - more soon. Author Reply: Yes - poor Elrohir, he and Elladan both know now just what's in store for him. Poor Elladan - he's going to be feeling guilty now for not preventing this. Poor Nolimon - what are the chances of both of them surviving, do you think? | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/30/2004 |
| Good heavens. That was scary. Did you make that up about the two kinds of spiders, Jay, or is that canon somewhere? Author Reply: I made it up. The canon spiders in The Hobbit simply made the dwarves sick and dizzy, so I needed something much more deadly - poor Elrohir, poor Nolimon! :( I'm glad it's scary! | |
| lwarren | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/30/2004 |
| GASP! Another EEEEEVVVIIILLLL cliffhanger! OK, I am of the firm belief that certain authors...who shall remain nameless...have a conspiracy going to render their readers mindless!!!! (well...this reader, anyway!) Well done, Jay! Oh, VERY well done! :-):-):-) Seriously, this was one extremely tense opening chapter! Your use of Elladan's somewhat uncertain gift of foresight was inspired...there's nothing like knowing that you know that you know that you know something bad is going to happen...and not being at all sure just what or when it will take place! Nasssssty spideressss! All that scuttling and clicking and hissing (aren't those fun words?) just make them more creepy and gross! Ughhhhh! Yuckkkk! Of course, Elrohir would have to get bitten by one "bigger" than all the rest...more venom for your bite, huh? I had read your drabble earlier, and I am so glad you decided to extend the story...even if I can't breathe now! (I know he's gonna be ok...I mean, he and Elladan act as messengers for their father in TTT; but still, to see him fall after hearing the other elf describe the hopelessness of one of these bites is pretty horrific! Best update soon, precioussssss...or we'll send HER...yesssss, preciousssss, she could do it!...(you know it's bad when Stinker and his spidey-girl creep in....) *clears throat noisily* Great job, Jay! :-) linda Author Reply: I'm glad you found this tense. I wanted to gradually build up the darkness and foreboding they both sensed, especially Elladan. He's tense, and rather touchy at the moment. And he's going to blame himself. I hate spiders with a passion, so it was easy to make them sound horrible. And yes, the bigger they are, the more dangerous they are :( I half wish I'd never written that drabble - now I've been bitten by my own plot bunny (better than a spider, though). | |